


Completely on Purpose

by UchihaNaruto_2



Category: Naruto
Genre: Babies, F/F, Finally, M/M, Mpreg, Needy Sasuke, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, Weddings, hopefully lol, i wrote it so FAST, indecisive naruto, mpreg for sure, sns, so no spoilers!, tags will be added as things occur, they are soulmates what can i say, this came to me out of nowhere, you love to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-04 08:17:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 48,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21194513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UchihaNaruto_2/pseuds/UchihaNaruto_2
Summary: Sasuke learns the hard way that sometimes, being in love isn’t enough, no matter how many times Naruto whispers it in his ear at night when no one else is around. Sometimes, there’s got to be something else involved.Although... this wasn’t the kind of ‘something else’ that they were thinking of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soo hello everyone! It's been a long time since I've written anything at all and felt like I wanted to share it, so...please enjoy! This is my first ever Naruto fic, too. It just came to me on a whim and all of a sudden I had to write it. Leave comments, give me suggestions! I have an idea of how I want to end it but the stuff in the middle is still blehh haha 
> 
> Of course I don't own Naruto lol

“Wh— he’s leaving?”

Sasuke’s mouth was dry as he sat in Kakashi’s office, face-to-face with his old sensei. No, no, Kakashi was the Hokage now. It would never feel quite right to think of him with just _ that _ much authority. 

“Yes. Naruto requested to be put on the active roster recently.” Kakashi’s mask muffled his words, but Sasuke was used to that after years of training together. Still, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “_ Naruto _ wants to _ leave _?” Sasuke’s fingers were twitching something serious in his lap under his cloak, but he kept his face seamlessly uninterested. His voice was what gave his confusion away. Kakashi nodded once again, closing his eyes for a moment as if to gather his patience with Sasuke. Well, Sasuke couldn’t help feeling this incredulous. The only time he was aware of that Naruto had expressed desire to leave the village for prolonged periods of time was when Sasuke himself had left. His face started getting pink just thinking about that, the lengths Naruto has gone to in order to bring him back to Konoha. He shook his head an inch and forced himself to listen to Kakashi.

“... Said he wanted a change of scenery, or something to that extent. He’s apparently tired of being here all the time.” Sasuke brought one of his arms up to rest on the arm of the chair so that he could lay his head in his hand, ever the image of boredom. Inside, he was freaking out. Recently, what kind of a time frame was recently? Did that mean today? Last week, last month, within this year? Ok, maybe within this year was a stretch. It was just annoying that Kakashi would be so vague about something he knew very well Sasuke cared very much about. 

“So, um, what kind of missions is he thinking of taking?” Sasuke just couldn’t fathom it. It was still so _ dangerous _; just because the war was over didn’t mean that people weren’t still on the lookout for reasons to make trouble and start stuff. Naruto was always going to take the bait, that’s just who he was. Sasuke felt worry prickling up his spine and down in his belly. Kakashi actually had the gall to laugh at his question. “Naruto is still a genin, Sasuke. It won’t be anything too life-threatening.”

And that’s when it hit Sasuke. Naruto’s whole life was devoted to becoming Hokage. He couldn’t do that if he was a genin. Naruto had been terrible in school, so of course, if there was an alternative, that’s what he’d do. Relief washed over Sasuke inwardly. Outwardly, he asked, “So this is a part of his Hokage training?”

“Of course.” 

“I see. Arigatō, Sensei.” Sasuke stood to take his leave and in that same instant Kakashi appeared beside him, still standing just a few inches taller than him after all of these years. 

“Sasuke,” Kakashi began, placing his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, but Sasuke didn’t need a lecture right now. He should have known better than to try to conceal his feelings from someone who knew him so well. “You can’t stop me,” he replied, crossing his arms like a child.

“I don’t intend to.” Kakashi sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. It seemed he was trying to think of something to say, in a way that Sasuke would accept because he had no choice. Finally, he leaned against the back of the chair Sasuke had been sitting in.

“I know that you want to go with him. I know. If..if Gai wanted to go on missions,” Kakashi turned his head to the floor then so Sasuke had to strain to hear him, “I’d want to go with him, too. If I didn’t have so much responsibility, I would go with him. And he’d go with me. I...know what you’re thinking. And so I know that I can’t stop you. It’s just. Have you ever considered that maybe, if he wanted you to know, he would have told you? If he wanted you to come, he’d ask you to?” Sasuke was looking at the floor then, too, wishing Kakashi would just stop talking. Of _ course _ he’s considered those things, and many more things. He just had to take the chance that Naruto was trying to convey something to him by _ not _telling him. It was the only thing he had allowed himself to think. 

“I—” Sasuke had been about to admit it, the real reason he wanted to go with Naruto, but he didn’t have to say it. 

“I know, Sasuke. He starts next week.”

“Yeah.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke was fighting with himself when he woke up the next morning. He always woke before the sun, and would be generally ready to start his day as it was rising. He had been thinking about Naruto in that time. He couldn’t be bothered to try to hide his feelings from Kakashi, but it was different when you have to be honest with yourself, all alone. He didn’t want Naruto to go on any stupid missions, no matter if they were C or B rank. It was the principle, the fact that for weeks and months at a time, Naruto would be gone, and there would essentially be no way for Sasuke to know how he was doing, how he was feeling, what was going on. 

“Damn it.”

It was helpless at this point in his life to deny to himself that he was a complete wreck for Naruto. Naruto was the reason he was alive in more ways than one. In every way, every way that mattered. Naruto was everything to him. The idea of Naruto somewhere, alone, or even on a team that wasn’t Team 7; Sasuke didn’t like it. He balled his fists a few times and huffed weakly. 

What really struck Sasuke was the ‘recently’ aspect of this. He had been with Naruto two days before meeting with Kakashi, and he had made no indications that he’d wanted to leave the village, leave his friends, leave Sasuke. 

(Of course, there had not been much talking in the time they were together that day. Sasuke ran his fingers over the folds of his sheets as he thought about it, Naruto in between them, how he looked, how he tasted, smelled, but most of all _ felt. _The feelings associated with Naruto were always so intense, but two days ago they’d crossed a line.

They trained just about one or two days out of every week together, just to hone their skills and make sure they were always sharp. Usually, Sasuke would just go back home, and Naruto would do whatever it was that Naruto did. But for some reason on Wednesday, instead of parting ways, they stayed together, for hours. By the time night came, the air was a little crisp, autumn would be starting soon. The only sources of light were those pouring out of house windows, and the streetlights. Naruto asked Sasuke to wait for him after their training while he went and discussed something with Iruka; which, in hindsight, might have been his now active status on the roster. Still, Sasuke had waited, hung about in the surrounding tree line until he could sense Naruto was outside again. “What’s this about, Naruto.” He stated his question rather than asked it. Naruto was giggling and scratching the back of his head the way he had when they were children. “Oh, it’s nothing, really, I was just wondering if..if..”

Sasuke grew wildly impatient waiting for Naruto to figure himself out. “If I what, what?” Naruto’s face grew redder by the minute before he just gave up. “Let’s just talk,” he said eventually. Sasuke rolled his eyes but did not protest. 

Walking with Naruto at night was nothing new to him. They’d done it plenty of times on missions together, what felt like thousands of years ago. He was in tune with Naruto’s body, and Naruto with his. Except, now Naruto seemed fidgety and nervous. Sasuke couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew it had something to do with himself. “You said you wanted to talk,” Sasuke said, growing exasperated with the silence. 

It seemed he snapped Naruto out of some reprieve, because his face suddenly animated again. “Oh, yeah, um. I’ve been thinking, lately.”

“About?” Sasuke turned his head to Naruto and raised an eyebrow at him. Was he really such an intimidating presence? Sasuke shook his head, told himself not to overthink it. He let Naruto take his time then, his annoyance dissipating into genuine interest.

“You know, all jokes aside, I...think about you all the time, Sasuke.” He was serious. Sasuke’s face was starting to convey his feelings, but Naruto wasn’t looking at him, and they were moving in and out of light. Naruto continued slowly, as though he was choosing his words carefully. 

“I thought about you—think about you, all the time. When you’re gone, when you’re right next to me, I...I just think about you.” Sasuke’s mouth was dry but he forced himself to speak. “What about me?” Sasuke’s voice was soft, he didn’t know why. The proximity, he chalked it up to.

Naruto shrugged. “What isn’t there to think about? When you were gone, I just. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know who I was without you to train with, to glare at.” Sasuke chuckled at that. 

“I’m serious, ya know! I didn’t know what to do with myself. So, I did the only thing I knew how. I went after you. And, and whatever you were doing, wherever you were, I never stopped worrying about you. I didn’t care what a lot of other people said. Only Sakura, really, and Iruka and Kakashi. Nothing else would really get into my head.”

They had stopped by then, under a street light. Sasuke could hear it buzzing, could hear the wind in his own hair, could feel Naruto’s eyes on him. So fixed on him that he wanted to shrink. “Wh-why?” Sasuke’s voice was barely more than a squeak at that point.

“They told me to give up on you. Told me there was no saving you, that you had turned, and that I was wasting my time on you. But, that’s just the thing.” Naruto’s bandaged hand came up to push some of Sasuke’s hair behind his ear, and for all his pretending Sasuke couldn’t for the life of him pretend anymore. Sasuke’s eyes were wide when he looked up at Naruto, but Naruto’s were so, so soft. He looked almost as though he was going to cry.

“I told them, I’ll never give up on him. I couldn’t...do that. It was an impossibility, me leave you out there without giving it everything I had. My life.” Naruto’s voice came as a low rasp that made Sasuke shiver. Who was this stupid fucking kid, making him feel like this? He was Uchiha Sasuke, this wasn’t in his playbook. He had it in his right mind to be mad at Naruto for doing this to him, but he wasn’t in his right mind. 

“My life, I realized, belongs to you. There’s...no one else I’d go that far for.” Sasuke knew this to be true. He was looking pointedly at his own feet before he felt Naruto’s other hand come up under his chin to force eye contact. There was a silence that dragged on and on and on, and in that span of time all Sasuke could think was that Naruto was _ not _going to say the words, they would not come out. There was no way. He’d always been bold but that was—

“I love you, Sasuke.” 

Oh, there it was. Sasuke would have given all that he had to be able to look away, but Naruto’s hand was still caressing his cheek, still making him look at those blue, blue eyes as they grew ever softer. And of course, who else? Who else were they meant to be with but one another? Sasuke couldn’t think of a single moment when he’d been more sure of something.

“I love you—” But Naruto’s mouth was on his then, effectively silencing him. It took zero seconds for Sasuke to reach one of his up to thread into the hair at the base of Naruto’s neck, and for the other hand to start fisting Naruto’s shirt. 

It took significantly more seconds to get to Sasuke’s house, because they suddenly couldn’t keep their hands off of one another. Naruto’s skin was suddenly so magnetic, and it seemed Naruto felt the same way about Sasuke.

Did he expect for them to go as far as they did? No, not in his wildest dreams. Maybe he’d anticipated a little rough touching; he decidedly did _ not _ anticipate to be so roughly fucked by someone that he had never thought had it in him. There were feelings involved, though, deep feelings that Sasuke realized he’d been feeling for his whole life, before he even understood what they were. They’d evolved, of course, but Naruto changed along with him, and it was more and more obvious every time they kissed, every time Naruto hit him _ there _, that they were made to complete one another. 

Sasuke looked at the pillows now, how he’d since straightened them out. He wished now more than ever he’d just left them messy. They’d lied there, talking and holding one another until they fell asleep. Sasuke asked Naruto about Minato and Kushina, and Naruto asked Sasuke about Itachi. He didn’t even remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, Naruto had gone and left him a note that he had an appointment. 

He hadn’t seen or heard from Naruto since that night.)

It just made no real sense. Naruto bled Konoha; what possibly could he want out there? Kakashi could not convince Sasuke that this was solely to do with Hokage training. Sasuke knew one thing was for sure. Wherever Naruto was going, he was going, too. 

——————————————————————

For once, Sasuke stayed home all that day. Naruto still hadn’t summoned him for training, so in his free time he was doing his best to formulate a plan, a way that he could follow after Naruto once he left so that by the time he was noticed it would be too late to turn him away. He was packing supplies and provisions and the like, when he heard a knock on his door. 

He had expected Sakura, she was always visiting him these days, but there was Naruto, standing and looking sheepish, to say in the least. “Oh,” he said, though he sighed on the inside. So he wasn’t avoiding him, then. “Oh? All I get is an ‘Oh?’ And to think—”

“Naruto, what is it?” Sasuke was really hoping that Naruto would not want to come in, because he hadn’t done anything to clean up or hide his packing. “I was hoping I could come in? I have to, ah, to tell you something.” Well, shit.

“Can we do it someplace else? I..am cleaning right now, very unsightly.” Naruto’s eyebrows drew in together in slight confusion, but he nodded. “Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.” He shrugged off his confused face and went back to smiling. “Meet me at Ichiraku, my treat!” Naruto’s eyes were just little crinkles, the way he was smiling. Sasuke could faint.

“Whatever you say, Naruto.”

So, twenty minutes later, Sasuke was walking as fast as he could to the ramen shop without it being considered speed walking. What was it now? The last time Naruto had “told him something,” they’d had sex on maybe all but one surface in Sasuke’s house. Surely it couldn’t be anything like that, though. Naruto would have insisted that they talk at Sasuke’s, surely. He saw the all too familiar sign, smelled the all too familiar scents of the noodles boiling in the water and the meat being cooked, and he was reminded of Naruto again, one hundred times over. Millions of memories flooded his mind, almost overwhelming him.

“Sasuke! Took you long enough,” was his greeting as soon as he entered the shop. “Oh, can it,” he replied, sitting next to Naruto and feigning disinterest to cover up his nerves. Once they’d place their orders, Naruto grew serious. 

“I’m telling you this because it’s something I think you need to know, ya know? We couldn’t be best friends if I didn’t tell you things like this.” Sasuke didn’t turn his head to Naruto, didn’t make any outward acknowledgments of what Naruto had said. _ Best friends _. What happened to I love you? Sasuke didn’t really even have time to be bitter. 

“I went to see Kakashi-sensei the other day, my appointment,” Naruto began, and there was that look on his face again, like he was choosing his words ever so carefully. Sasuke’s eyebrow was lifted as he tilted his head toward Naruto ever so slightly. 

“I requested to be put back on active status, for missions. I...It’s something I have to do.”

“But, why?”

“Why?”

“Why is it something you _ have _to do, right now?”

Sasuke couldn’t keep the betrayal from leaking into his voice anymore. “Why do you have to leave, it hasn’t even been a year since the war ended. A lot of people need you to stay.” And the needs of a lot of people did not even measure up to how much Sasuke needed him to stay. 

“I know, I know. I can’t become Hokage as a genin, though, Sasuke. And..and it’s a way to breathe. You’re right, a lot of people need me. All over the village, people need me. It’s alright, and I know as Hokage that even more people will need me, the entire village. Sometimes, it’s just a lot, ya know? So, before I take on all that responsibility, I just wanted a few months or years to just be...alone. To be the only person that needs me. Ya know?”

“Y—yeah. Yes, I get it.” That hadn’t been the reason why Sasuke had left the village, to begin with, but it had been an added bonus. No one needed him, no one was worried about him, but him. Of course, Naruto was somewhere else, far away, worrying about him, but that wasn’t the same thing. He knew what Naruto was getting at.

“So, you’re sure about going alone?” Of course, there would be teams implemented, but he’d still essentially be alone. Naruto nodded at this. “As alone as I can possibly be, yes.”

Sasuke wasn’t sure why that crushed him. He was sure by now that what had happened between them was just something that had happened, and that it meant nothing. Sure, that was fine (it was not fine). But on the comrade level, Sasuke didn’t like that Naruto wouldn’t even consider letting him come along. Their food arrived then and Sasuke was left to his own thoughts for a moment, and of course, they drifted once again to the night the two of them had shared. 

Naruto had never been super aggressive with Sasuke, unless they were fighting, but he’d never expected him to be so _ gentle _. He had asked Sasuke’s permission to do just about everything. Where he would usually have been impatient, Sasuke reveled each time Naruto asked him “Is this alright?” It made him feel special, like it was all about him, and only him.

Sasuke remembered Naruto’s face when he had pressed inside of him for the very first time. He’d been watching Sasuke intently, his eyelids hooded but his blue eyes still so swollen with feelings that he still looked as though he would cry. And when he first started to move inside of Sasuke, agonizingly slow, well, he did cry. Sasuke had reached up weakly to swipe the drops away with his thumb, and slotted his fingers into Naruto’s hair. Every part of Naruto fit every part of Sasuke and vice versa. 

“Sasuke?” 

“Hm?”

“I said, who are you going to train with when I’m gone?” Naruto was trying to joke to lighten the mood, Sasuke sensed. He decided he didn’t want to play along with that line of questioning. “Sakura, I guess. When she’s not busy at the hospital. If Kakashi wasn’t so busy, I’d try with him.” Sasuke lifted his bowl then to drain it of its remaining contents. He watched Naruto’s mind work over the rim of it. 

“So you..train with other people when I’m not around?” Naruto looked almost defeated by that thought. Sasuke shook his head. “No. No one is a better partner than you in battle, for me at least. Our chakra is, you know, it’s linked. I’ve never really had that connection with any of the other people I’ve fought with.” Sasuke added a shrug, to make it seem less serious an admission.

“I see.” Sasuke’s eyes were drawn to the way Naruto still seemed to be considering everything with the utmost care. There was something he wasn’t saying, Sasuke realized. Still, Naruto decided that one bowl would be enough for now, and he stood unceremoniously as if to leave. “Let me walk you home,” he said, and to Sasuke’s dismay, he was holding out his _ hand. _“Oh, um—ok.”

Thankfully, Naruto had only offered his hand to help Sasuke up, not to hold. They walked in a comfortable silence back to Sasuke’s. He had forgotten his packing, or else he would have liked to invite Naruto in. When they got to his front door, they stopped, and Sasuke turned to look at Naruto. He would be patient this time, he told himself, with whatever Naruto was trying to do or say. 

“Are you sure I can’t come in?” Naruto eventually said, after letting his eyes regard every part of Sasuke’s expressionless face. His voice was low, even though there was no one else around. “It can’t be that messy.”

_Be strong, _ Sasuke told himself, his hand tightening into a small fist underneath his cloak where Naruto couldn’t see. There were things they needed to talk about before anything happened between them again, that was what Sasuke was going with when he said, “Sure. To talk.”

He let Naruto in, and went about shoving things into his closet. Naruto had laid down on his bed, of course, and when Sasuke turned to face him, he motioned for him to lay next to him. Sasuke removed his cloak and hung it, and sat next to Naruto rather than lying down. It was the small victories that Sasuke was going for, here.

Naruto’s voice was behind Sasuke, but he could hear it clear as day. “I know that we have to talk.” Sasuke turned his head to look at Naruto, who was looking at the ceiling as he spoke. “About what?”

Naruto’s eyes cut to Sasuke, and for a moment it seemed that he’d lost his place in something he’d been reciting, but once he looked back at the ceiling he remembered. “I don’t want you to think that what happened wasn’t real. It was real. So real. I—don’t even know how to explain it to you. I’ve been thinking about how to say it for days now. I told you, I think about you all the time. And then..and then...I felt like I had messed it up, a little bit. By telling you. I didn’t know how you’d react, but when you said it I just lost my control. I am in love with you, I have always been in love with you. Fuck, I can’t think of a single moment in my life that I wasn’t in love with you. 

“It’s just. So much. Overwhelming. You love me? I love you? We love one another? Are we in love, then? I don’t know. I’ve been overthinking everything, I know. And I know that I should have tried to talk to you about it, and that I should have stayed that day, at least woken you up, and that you should have been the first one I told that I was trying to go on missions. I want to be a good friend to you, before anything else. I haven’t been.” 

Sasuke was so weak for Naruto. He turned completely so that he was facing him, and in a split second decision he laid down next to Naruto, so that they were both looking at the ceiling. “I knew you wouldn’t want me to go,” Naruto continued. Sasuke could feel him breathing next to him. He was getting more calm the more he spoke, from what Sasuke could tell. 

“I don’t,” Sasuke said. He refused to look, even though he was burning now with the desire to look at Naruto, to touch his face, to be touched by him. “I am selfish, though. You don’t belong to me, you don’t belong to the village. You are your own. So only you can decide what you want to do.” It was the best Sasuke could do without sounding like he was complaining too much.

Naruto shook his head and shifted his body so that he was facing Sasuke, drawing himself ever closer. “I do belong to you, Sasuke. If you will have me. I told you. Maybe I didn’t. I live for you.” Sasuke scoffed and closed his eyes so that he couldn’t see Naruto looking at him out of his peripheral.

“Stop it.” 

Naruto’s face was all but plastered to Sasuke’s neck at that point. Sasuke felt so crazy, his nerves were so shot already. He reached out and dug his hand into Naruto’s hair, his favorite sensation. Naruto’s breath was on his neck then, causing Sasuke to shudder. 

“Stop what?”

“You know what.” Sasuke tried his best to rationalize what was happening here. Naruto’s body was shifting until he was completely enveloped, and the weight of Naruto was _ welcome _because Sasuke is so weak. He placed his hands on Naruto’s face, rubbing his thumb along Naruto’s jawline and then his ears and then his mouth and back to his jaw. 

“Talk to me, Sasuke.” 

Sasuke drew his lip between his teeth for a moment as he thought. “What are we...doing?” That made Naruto laugh. “Right now? I think the kids call this cuddling.” Sasuke shook his head. “No. You know what I mean. What is...what are we?” Never before had Sasuke imagined that he would be in such a position as this, with Naruto slotting one of his legs in between Sasuke’s so that they were almost being glued together. 

“I love you,” Naruto said, as though that much was obvious. As if that would be enough. Naruto was so warm, no forget that, hot, _ heated, _like he was on fire. Sasuke sighed lightly as Naruto’s mouth start attaching to places in his neck, his collarbones. He pushed weakly at Naruto’s shoulder, so that he could look at his dumb perfect face. 

He could have just let the moment happen, but Sasuke just knew it was off. Naruto could say he loved him all he liked, but those weren’t the magic words. He knew that he didn’t mean _ nothing _to Naruto, but there was still technically nothing between them but friendship. So, instead of letting the moment happen, even though he yearned so deeply for it, he heard himself say, “Then why are you leaving me?” Naruto’s eyes grew wide, and he seemed as though he was regarding Sasuke for the first time. 

“Leaving you?” 

All the sirens in Sasuke’s mind told him he’d just made a major mistake. “I, um—never mind, never mind that I said that. I still have a lot of cleaning to do.” Sasuke moved to sit up and Naruto didn’t stop him. He stood from the bed and started to pretend to clean up his packing, keeping his back to Naruto while he rummaged in the closet.

“Oh, yeah, right. Ok.” Naruto was clearly at a loss for words, stuttering, stammering, trying to say the thing that would save the situation. “I think you should go, Naruto,” Sasuke finally said, keeping his back Naruto the whole time. 

There wasn’t another word said between them. Sasuke heard Naruto sitting up, standing up, strapping his sandals on, and then closing the door as softly as possible. The door had barely been shut before Sasuke felt a sob wrack his body.

How could it be so easy to leave? To leave him, to leave the village? Sasuke wiped his eyes as the hot tears kept falling. Saying he loved Sasuke wasn’t enough for Naruto to be able to just...do things to him. The way Naruto spoke about him, it seemed that he meant it. But he didn’t try to initiate any sort of deeper relationship, and that was what Sasuke wanted. If Sasuke didn’t know better, he would have let himself think that Naruto had only said those words in an attempt to get into his pants. But, that couldn’t be true.

Could it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to every one who has read this, given it kudos, and commented! i was so excited that i worked on this all night and lol you can see how many damn words it is as a result. keep commenting, i love talking to you guys! thank you again :)

Sasuke knew that Naruto was set to leave the next Thursday. Somehow, it was already Monday, but at least he had finished his packing. Kakashi had let Sasuke know only where Naruto was going, nothing else. No matter; knowing that this was a mission to the Land of Iron at least let Sasuke know what sort of clothes to bring. 

Naruto had not been back around since what Sasuke had dubbed _ The Thing _ . Since The Thing, Sasuke had been second guessing everything that had ever happened between them. Of course, his sorest point of insecurity was the fact that Naruto could just so suddenly say he loved him, do _ stuff _with him, and then not talk to him for two days after. Sure, they’d spoken again, but again, Naruto had essentially tried to use Sasuke’s inherent weakness for him, against him. It just didn’t seem like Naruto to be that kind of guy, but Sasuke didn’t have anything to base it off of. He’d never seen Naruto be involved with someone the way that they were getting involved

“Stupid, stupid,” Sasuke mumbled to himself. In order to keep up appearances, Kakashi suggested Sasuke shop, something to make it look as though he was going about life as usual. So, Sasuke found himself in the market, picking listlessly at items that he already had in his house. He couldn’t even see an upside to it, because by the time he got back, all of this might have turned. Still, he didn’t want Naruto to hear anything about him being off or acting strange—especially not now.

“Sasuke!” 

Sasuke stopped in his tracks and barely had time to turn on his heel before he saw Sakura coming toward him. He took comfort in her presence, and whatever she was about to bring up to him was probably going to take his mind off of The Thing. 

“Ah, Sakura,” Sasuke greeted her, and she fell in step with him. “I haven’t seen you in, like, a week,” Sakura said. Her eyes were wandering across the various stands, as though she was looking for something but couldn’t remember where to find it. Sasuke was grateful her eyes weren’t on him, because his eyes were doing a terrible time of concealing his feelings. 

“Just been a little busy,” Sasuke replied. Sakura led the way to a stand selling skirts and such. “I need to buy Ino a birthday present,” she said, distracted from their conversation. Sasuke was patient while she ran her fingers over and through the fabrics. The only real thing that he knew about Ino was that she wore purple and that she had blonde hair, so he didn’t have much of an opinion to offer. 

“I noticed that you’ve been going to see Kakashi-sensei more often,” Sakura said offhandedly, catching Sasuke off guard. He shouldn’t have been surprised, this was Sakura; he was more irritated that she always knew his business. “It’s nothing serious,” he said defensively.

Sakura cut her eyes at Sasuke before going back to shopping. “Sure it’s not.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You should be lecturing Naruto. He’s the one trying to go on missions again.” There was an edge to his voice, but if Sakura heard it, she ignored it. Instead, she chuckled. “Oh, yes. Believe me, I told him straight up how stupid that is. I mean, is there any room for rest with that kid? It feels as though the war just ended. No one can tell Naruto no, though. He’ll find some way to get into trouble, no matter what.” At this she sighed. 

Sasuke wondered what Sakura would think of him when it became obvious that he had followed Naruto in his journey. Surely she wouldn’t approve, but she also should understand. She went with Naruto on his journey to bring Sasuke back, and everyone told them that would be useless. So, even if she didn’t think he should, Sasuke didn’t think she would judge him. Just be a little angry with him for being reckless, and for leaving her out. She was useful because of her healing, but her coming along wasn’t a part of his plan, and at this point he didn’t have time to change his plan.

“He’ll be okay, Sasuke,” Sakura said, drawing Sasuke out of his own mind. His face was probably distorted with concern. He cursed Naruto mentally for being able to cause him such strong emotions. Sasuke brushed off Sakura’s concerned gaze with a small shrug. “I’m sure he will.” 

Sakura sighed again and turned back to the fabrics. She made her selection and purchase, and they started walking again. “Are you feeling alright?” Sakura asked him. They were nearing the end of the market, which Sasuke was thankful for. Sakura was so perceptive, sometimes it was annoying. “Oh, I’m fine,” he said. 

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ve been frowning this entire time. I know that you usually frown anyways, but this is intense frowning, Sasuke. Like, an actual reaction to something. You know, you don’t have to tell me _ everything, _but you can talk to me. It won’t do you any good to keep it all inside.” Sasuke refrained from rolling his eyes, because he knew she was right. “I know, Sakura. Maybe later.” 

Sakura herself frowned then, and gave a huff of defeat. “Fine, fine. You know where to find me,” she said. They said their goodbyes and she turned to walk the way they’d come, probably back to the hospital. She was so accomplished now, Sasuke thought as he strolled back to his house. She had found herself. He was proud of her.

But Sasuke kept thinking about Naruto again, the way that people seemed to be nearly _ fine _with the fact that he was active again. Kakashi had seemed not to care, and all Sakura had to say about it was that it was dumb. It was dangerous; did no one else realized how bad it could potentially get? Maybe Sasuke was just crazy, crazy, crazy. These were supposed to be easy missions, for now. What business Naruto would have in the Land of Iron couldn’t be life-threatening.

When Sasuke returned home, he found a note had been shoved underneath his door. After placing his shopping on the counter, he stooped to pick it up and read it. 

_ Sasuke, _

_ I know I haven’t been _ _ good _ _ the best to you lately. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry about that. I don’t want to leave and we be on a bad note. So, if you want, you can come over on Wednesday. Or we can do something else, I don’t know. It would crush me to leave for my mission knowing that you’re angry at me. _

_ Naruto _

Sasuke sighed and crushed the tiny slip of paper in his fist. Stupid sentimental Naruto. Of course he’d want to fix this. Sasuke didn’t know if it was really worth it, though, to fix it. They could just go about pretending that these last few days hadn’t happened; Sasuke was fine with that, he could totally do that. He just knew that Naruto couldn’t live like that, would have to say something about it until it was resolved. 

Sasuke decided he would talk to Naruto, and only talk to him. He had already failed at that. But, they’d talked before countless times. It didn’t matter how Sasuke felt about Naruto, there were things that needed to be said before he could forgive Naruto for seemingly taking advantage of him. 

——————————————————————

Time dragged on while Sasuke was waiting for Wednesday. He hated to admit that he was waiting, but that’s exactly what he was doing. Monday dragged into Tuesday, and on Tuesday Kakashi summoned him once again.

“Do you just enjoy talking to me?” Sasuke quipped, but it seemed Kakashi was not in the mood. Shikamaru was at Kakashi’s right, which was slightly unsettling, even more so than the usual ANBU that stood in the shadows. It meant that whatever this was about was official business, not some secret meeting of Kakashi indulging Sasuke with information about Naruto that was none of his business. 

“This is serious, Sasuke.” Kakashi’s hands were steepled in front of his mask. “As you may know,” Sasuke snorted at that, “Naruto has made the decision to change his status on the roster from inactive to active.” Sasuke nodded. “Yes, I am aware of this. What does that have to do with me?” 

“I’m getting to that.” Kakashi seemed to be annoyed. Sasuke decided he’d save it and just listen. “As I was saying, Naruto is now open for missions. He is slotted to begin a scoping mission of sorts in the Land of Iron. I’m sure you remember the Land of Iron, Sasuke?” So he was going for necks. Of course Sasuke remembered the Land of Iron; how he and the Akatsuki had attacked the Five Kage Summit, how Obito had declared war on the Great Nations...of course he remembered that. 

“Uh—yeah.”

Kakashi nodded and continued. “We’ve been hearing about people going missing from villages, as if they were disappearing into thin air. Of course, we don’t doubt that Naruto can take care of such an issue on his own; we are well aware that in this rebuilding period, it is important to conserve our resources in terms of military force. However…” Kakashi looked to Shikamaru, who took over. “We want you to go with him,” he said bluntly. 

“Wh—what?”

Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look, I know that you haven’t asked to be put on missions again, I get it. Getting asked to work when you weren’t expecting to is a drag, for sure. But, we know that you two have a connection in terms of chakra molding and combat in general that is unmatched, now or in history. It just makes sense. We don’t know who’s behind all this; we’re thinking they’re some Akatsuki sympathizers, or copycats, or whatever. We just really need you to agree to do this.” 

For a long moment, Sasuke was silent, but his mind was whirling. Go with him. Go with Naruto. Be Naruto’s teammate. ‘Unmatched connection.’ Sasuke had already planned to trail Naruto, like some dog, like some sicko, like Naruto would really even want him around. Now, he had an excuse. No, not even. A _ reason _. A legitimate, completely real reason. The choice was obvious. “I’ll do it,” he said slowly.

Kakashi and Shikamaru both let out a huff of relief. “Geez. For a second there I thought you were going to disagree.” Shikamaru rounded Kakashi’s desk to shake Sasuke’s hand. 

“Alright. Well, you’re set to leave tomorrow, so it’s my suggestion that you seek Naruto, and you two discuss the details of travel and the like. And, Sasuke?” Sasuke had already stood to leave, but he turned to face Kakashi once more. “Yes?”

“Thank you.” 

Sasuke could see Kakashi was smiling, even underneath his mask. He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed by the attention. “Uh, yeah. No problem.” 

Even as Shikamaru left, Sasuke remained. He needed answers. How in the _ fuck _was he just supposed to pick up and leave? With Naruto? Kakashi didn’t need to know the nitty gritty details, but he did need to know that Sasuke wasn’t just okay with this. 

“So, like… what? What was that? I’m supposed to just go with him, accept it, just be fine with it? What if I’m doing stuff? What if I don’t _ want _to go?” Sasuke’s voice grew more panicked as he continued to ramble. He was talking with his hands, it was obvious he was growing anxious. 

“Hey, hey. Calm down.” Kakashi raised his hand. “It wasn’t my idea. It’s not even really ideal. You two are the most elite ninja in the village, obviously. You’re the most elite ninja that any of the Five Great Nations can offer. Naruto could do it alone, but it’d work better if you went, too.” 

Sasuke’s mind was still scrambling. They were supposed to cooperate and figure out a strategy in the span of two days; really, one, because Sasuke wasn’t going to seek Naruto out when they were already supposed to meet soon. He thought probably that Naruto already knew about this collaborative effort, but maybe he didn’t. Maybe they were supposed to just do it all on their own now. “I just don’t like it,” Sasuke said eventually, slumping back down into the chair. 

Kakashi sighed and closed his eye. “Look, Sasuke,” his tone made Sasuke feel like he was being scolded by his father, “I don’t know exactly what is going on with you and Naruto. Whatever it is, doesn’t matter right now. There’s a mission at hand, and the continued safety and peace of all people is the most important thing.”

Sasuke stood again to leave, this time for real. He nodded to Kakashi and resigned himself to the fact that there really was nothing he could do about it. “Got it.” With that, he swept out of the room.

——————————————————————

Sasuke had never much cared about what people thought about him or the way that he carried himself, but Naruto was not _ people. _His opinion actually mattered. So, that’s why Sasuke was standing in front of his nearly empty closet, his chin in his hand. He had thrown all of his clothes onto the floor behind him, save the ones he’d already packed. He had to be presentable when he told Naruto that they would be traveling partners. 

Everything looked the same, all black and billowy. “Ugh,” Sasuke groaned and fell back onto his bed. Why did it matter what he wore? He was being dramatic. Naruto wouldn’t care, either way. He wouldn’t notice. He’d just find ways to make Sasuke blush, make his knees all weak, make his resolve crack. Sasuke sighed and turned his head to the little table beside his bed, where he’d set folder with all of the mission details. 

Sitting up, Sasuke decided he’d better read it now rather than later, so that he’d be at least familiar with the mission. The less he had to rely on Naruto, the better right now. Sasuke thumbed through some pictures of suspects and places where people had been taken from, and instead went straight to the intel. 

None of the people taken had anything to do with one another, as far as the sources could tell. Only two of the five were shinobi. All victims had vanished overnight. Sasuke’s eyebrows drew together. This all seemed pretty random to him. He hoped Naruto had some sort of idea about this, that he’d made some connection that Sasuke was missing.

What would he say to Naruto, how would he word it? Would Sasuke let Naruto talk first? It would crush Sasuke, too, for Naruto to leave when they were on bad terms. But now, they’d be leaving _ together, _so it was imperative to their teamwork and the outcome of their mission that they were at least on speaking terms.

Sasuke had just finished re-hanging all of his clothes when there came a knock on his door. This time, it was Sakura. She had brought food; she meant to stay a while. “What... brings you here?” Sasuke was sort of shocked to see her. 

Sakura offered a small smile. “I know that you’re keeping something from me, Sasuke.” Sasuke’s eyes turned to the floor. “Fine.” He stepped aside to let Sakura in. “Could you put on some tea?”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Sakura. She was going to understand. Sasuke just dreaded hearing her give him advice, because she’d be right, and then he’d have to face his problems. They sat on the sofa with the food between them and the tea on the coffee table. “So… tell me what happened?” Sakura asked, taking a small sip of her tea after blowing on it. She watched Sasuke above the rim of the cup as he began.

Retelling the story felt gratifying, Sasuke realized as he went along. “So, um, you know that Naruto and I are best friends. We just… have known one another for so long, he’s the only person who knows me better than I know myself. For years, it’s just always been him. I realized a long time ago that I have feelings for Naruto, a lot deeper than friendship. I’ve never been connected to someone the way that I’m connected to Naruto. Sometime when I was away from the village, it just hit me. I missed this stupid place, and then I realized that I just really missed Naruto. I missed everyone, but—I didn’t feel whole.” Sasuke was fidgeting as he spoke, but Sakura was calm, nodding along and humming to show she was actively listening. 

“So, so after the war I was sure of it, that I like him. I feel that we’re just meant to be together. Who else, who else? Who else is for me, who else is for him? I don’t know. It’s just a really strong feeling, that he’s my soulmate. My eternal one person. He’s just it for me. Anyways, I like him,” Sasuke shook his head, made himself stop rambling. “And, I’m not very good at keeping it concealed. It’s affecting the way I interact with him. For months now, though, I’ve started to feel like maybe, just maybe, he had some sort of feelings for me, too? It would be little things, lingering glances and stupid stuff like that. I felt like maybe, he was trying to show me, too, in his own way.

“We do training stuff every few days, once or twice a week, every now and then, whatever. And usually, I’d just come back here and take a shower, then go to bed or something, and he’d do whatever it was that he did. But last week, he asked me to stay with him, to talk with him and stuff. At night, he went to go talk to Iruka-sensei, about going on missions again, I think. He didn’t tell me what they’d discussed. I waited for him, because he asked me to, and when he came back out of the school, he was acting all strange.” Sasuke’s face grew pink as he remembered. 

“He told me he was wondering about something, and then he just said “Let’s just talk,” so we walked and he didn’t even say anything, at first. I had to pry, but then he just started...confessing.”

At this, Sakura spoke up. “Confessing? What sort of things was he saying?” Her voice was just a tad muffled because she was covering her mouth with her hand as she ate. Sasuke felt like he couldn’t even say it, but he’d already gotten this far, so there was no point in stopping now. She was only there to help him, he reminded himself. 

“He was saying things like he always thought about me. and that when people told him to give up on me, he just didn’t listen to them. He said the only people’s opinions that he cared about were yours, Kakashi-sensei’s and Iruka-sensei’s. Everyone else was just telling him that I was a lost cause, and he didn’t care.” Part of Sasuke wondered if that was true. He was sure people were thinking and saying that about him, but was he supposed to believe that Naruto had never thought it, either? He was skeptical of this. 

“Then, he tells me he loves me,” Sasuke said, significantly quieter than he’d been talking before. It felt strange to admit it, that they’d gone there with one another. 

“Well, what’s wrong with that?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s what happened after.” This was the hard part. Was he not supposed to tell people? Sasuke wasn’t the sort of person to broadcast such intimate details, anyways, but they hadn’t discussed whether or not this was something they’d be letting other people know. They hadn’t discussed anything, so Sasuke took it into his own hands. Sakura’s eyes gleamed with a knowing, but she still waited for him to say it. 

“We came back here and then… we did some stuff.” Sasuke had just barely finished talking when Sakura bursted into peals of laughter. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise,” she wheezed. Sasuke crossed his arms petulantly. “It’s not funny, Sakura.”

“I just can’t imagine that you two would do _ it. _My best friends, canoodling.” Sasuke rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Can you just listen to me, please? That’s not the end of the story.”

Sakura wiped her eyes as she nodded, catching her breath. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead.”

Sasuke hmphed and continued. “That happened, and then when I woke up he was gone. He left a note, saying he’d had some appointment, but didn’t say about what, or anything like that. So I was just left to wonder about it. Then, Kakashi calls on me to tell me Naruto was going on _ missions _ . Why would he need to do that? It pissed me off I had to learn from somewhere that wasn’t Naruto. He told me eventually, but it was too late. He clearly had been planning it, and told me _ last _. Like, what about me? How am I supposed to feel? For him to just decide this, to just leave—it hurts. Especially now.” Sakura had fallen silent again, back in listening mode.

“Then a few days ago, he shows up here, asking to come in, this and that. Something he wanted to tell me. I didn’t let him in, to begin with; we went to Ichiraku. It took him three days to tell me that he was going to be going on missions.” Sasuke played with his fingers in his lap. “Then we came back here, and he almost got me that time, but I asked him what we were doing, what we were, and he couldn’t give me a real answer. That really hurt, too. Even if he didn’t want to be with me, he could just say so. He seemed, like, genuinely put off by the fact that I would even ask. And then today, I find out I’m essentially being forced to go with him. I have to go on the mission, Sakura. I’m upset. Now go ahead. Give me your magical advice.” 

Sakura paused, then said, “So, you feel… betrayed, almost, because he didn’t tell you. He told you last, rather. He could have said something about it before, or tried to ask you how you felt about it, things like that. He just did it and you were left to scramble and find a way to react that made sense.”

“Yes.” 

Sakura pushed a finger into her chin as she thought. “I don’t want to be that person but Sasuke, you have to remember that _ you _ left _ us. _”

Of course, it had to come up sometime. Of course, Sakura would mention it to him, to try to make him rationalize how crazy and selfish he was being. Well, it wasn’t all his fault, but he knew he was doing nothing to help the situation. Sasuke sighed. “Yes. I remember. I will never allow myself to forget.”

“So, it’s just. You have every right to be mad at him for what he’s doing right now, because this sucks. He’s being terrible and it doesn’t even sound like he knows it. I’m honestly… really surprised that he’s being this way. He’s usually so forward with what he wants and doesn’t want.” 

“But what do you think I should do? The mission, it’s stressing me out so much.”

“You just have to follow his lead, Sasuke. If he seems to be into you, really into you and not just into doing stuff, then that’s one thing. But if there’s no substance to it, you shouldn’t hurt yourself just because you expect yourself to be with him. I agree, I can’t think of a single person on this planet that is more perfect for you than him and the other way around, but that’s just on paper. What matters is real life. And right now, Naruto is being a real life jerk.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke had bid Sakura goodbye hours ago. He was alone, and he couldn’t make his mind _ shut up _, so that he could sleep. He tossed and turned and sighed and huffed as The Thing started coming into his mind once again.

Sasuke was just afraid, so scared. Naruto could say he loved Sasuke all he wanted, but it meant nothing when he didn’t act like it. Having sex wasn’t being in love; Sasuke would be damned if he let Naruto use him like that, no matter how he felt about him, because Sakura was right. Real life was what mattered. Sasuke was just afraid that once Naruto had gotten his fill, he’d forget about ever loving Sasuke and just drop it.

He had to do something to get The Thing and his feelings off his mind. “Fuck it,” he mumbled to himself in the dark, and in a few moments he was outside on the street. If sleeping wouldn’t work, he’d just have to tire out his mind. Taking a stroll would surely help, as it always did.

It was chillier this week than even last week, though not yet cold. Sasuke welcomed the more stark air, as it served to clear his mind up just a tad. He didn’t know where he was going; he wasn’t going anywhere. He was just walking. All the lights in town were off at this time of night, and so the only way to know where he was, was by gazing into the orbs of light the street lamps provided.

Sasuke found himself moving toward the main gate of the village. He didn’t mean to be gone too long, he just needed… something else. The cover of trees, really. The sound of leaves in the wind, under his feet. It was also nearly directly the opposite direction from where he was sure Naruto was, in his home.

Sasuke was carelessly making noise, and maybe that’s why he didn’t hear him coming. All of a sudden, Sasuke saw a flash of that bright blonde hair in front of him, and there was stupid Naruto standing in front of him, in...pajamas? 

“Shit, you scared me,” Sasuke said breathlessly, hoping only he could hear the rattling of his ribcage brought on by how wildly his heart was beating. He could feel his heart in his ears. Naruto chuckled. “My bad.”

Sasuke was suddenly unsure of himself. What was Naruto even doing here, wearing that, at this time of night? How long had Naruto been following him? “What are you doing here?” That was the easiest question for Naruto to answer at that moment, Sasuke decided. 

“I was already outside. I’ve been going on walks these past few nights, preparing my mind for being so far away from here. I want to remember how beautiful home is before I leave again. And what are _ you _doing here?” Naruto was smiling at Sasuke, a soft smile that made him feel sort of special. Just for a moment, before he forced himself to remember all that he and Sakura had spoken about.

“The same thing, I guess. Just needed air, more like.” Sasuke shrugged. He turned his eyes to the sky then, looking at the stars, and he supposed that’s why he missed Naruto’s step toward him. “Oh—” So close. Sasuke felt minuscule next to this man.

“You know something?”

“No.” It took everything in Sasuke to act cool.

“It’s technically Wednesday.”

Sasuke’s face grew confused for a split second, before he remembered. “Oh yeah, that’s right. You still want to talk to me, or something?” Naruto’s face was centimeters away from Sasuke’s. Naruto’s shirt was in Sasuke’s grip. Naruto’s arms were snaking around Sasuke’s waist. It was that puzzle piece feeling, like they completed one another. They did. 

“Well, yeah. I want to make it right, the way I was acting before.” Sasuke couldn’t stand looking at Naruto’s eyes, not then. He squeezed his own shut and laid his head against Naruto’s shirt. “Then we shouldn’t still be standing here,” he said against Naruto’s chest. Sasuke felt the rumble of his laughter. “I guess you’re right.”

Sasuke’s mind felt useless by the time they stumbled into Naruto’s house. Oh, sure, he was telling himself to run far away from here, but what he _ did _was throw himself across Naruto’s sofa. Sasuke didn’t remember the last time he’d been in here so late at night. Never had he been here so late and the only other person around was Naruto himself. He knew he was stepping into some very dangerous uncharted territory. He just had no self control.

“So, what’d you want to talk to me about?” Sasuke asked. He had to peek over the back of the couch to see Naruto doing something just past the doorway of his bedroom. Naruto came back into the living area with _ clothes _ . His own _ clothes. _He chucked then at Sasuke and then motioned for him to move his feet so that he could sit. After placing his feet gingerly in Naruto’s lap, Sasuke held up the t-shirt Naruto had volunteered and waved it in his fist. “Um?”

A slight pink dusted Naruto’s face. “I just kind of… assumed, hoped, that you’d just stay over.” _ Damn it. _“Oh. Oh...okay.” Sasuke looked at the clothes then, trying to recognize them, but he’d never seen them before. He was going to smell like Naruto in the morning. He was sleeping over here. The logistics didn’t matter at the moment, but the thought was in the back of Sasuke’s mind. 

Naruto cleared his throat. “I really just wanted to apologize again, for leaving that morning. I didn’t realize that we’d...do all that, and I knew I had to be somewhere. I could have woken you up, or just not gone—I don’t know.” Sasuke shushed Naruto then. 

“I don’t think you need to apologize for that part anymore.” 

A sigh of relief.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He stood then, causing confusion to settle into Naruto’s features. “Where are you going?” Sasuke motioned to the bathroom, and then held up the bundle of clothes. Naruto nodded. “Yeah, right.” He settles back into the sofa, and Sasuke excused himself. 

It was strange, how well Naruto’s clothes fit Sasuke. He hugged himself for a moment after he’d pulled Naruto’s shirt over his head, feeling warm on the inside despite all the emotional danger he was in. Sasuke just wanted to be happy. So he was going to let himself be happy, if even for a small moment, just for a night. Sasuke smelled like Naruto, could almost feel him even though he was in another room.

When he reentered the living room, Naruto had vanished. Sasuke couldn’t help feeling panic begin to set in again as his eyes darted across the room from left to right and back again. He couldn’t have left, this was _ his _house. Where else was he going to go? Was this some sort of trick? “N-Naruto?” 

Naruto’s voice came from Sasuke’s right. “I’m in here.” Sasuke breathed a near audible sigh of relief. Then, just as soon as it left, the panic started to creep up again. This was it, Sasuke said to himself. It was really now or never, whether or not he could put his foot down with Naruto or not.

Naruto was sprawled on the bed, but when he saw Sasuke standing in the doorway he rolled over so that there was space for another body. Sasuke felt like he was floating as he made his way over, like weights were being lifted off of him, because he was leaving everything in a trail behind him. With every step, he lost first his inhibition, then his insecurities, and when he was finally next to Naruto again, he shook off his doubts. It just didn’t matter anymore.

There was a rustling as they shifted their bodies to slot into place and fit together. There wasn’t anymore pretending. Sasuke couldn’t have even if he’d tried. Naruto’s face ended up in the crook of Sasuke’s neck, and Sasuke could feel his every huff of breath. It was comfortable, the way they were supposed to be, the place they belonged. “I, uh, have to tell you something,” Sasuke mumbled eventually, his lips brushing Naruto’s hair. 

“Hm?” Naruto was running his hand along Sasuke’s arm, caressing him, making him melt. Sasuke forced his mind to work, to slow down long enough to say the words he needed to say. It was so hard to pay attention to his own words when their hips were so close together, Naruto’s thigh was between Sasuke’s.

“I saw Kakashi today, and Shikamaru. They asked me to…” Sasuke didn’t feel as bold as he had before, but that was before he was laying in Naruto’s bed. “They asked me to go on the mission. With you.” 

Extrication. No more warm breathing on his neck. No more caressing. Suddenly, Sasuke felt so _ cold. _“Go with me? Like, like we’ll be partners, teammates?” Naruto’s eyes were wide, but even as he searched, Sasuke couldn’t tell what was there. He was so lost in the way that Naruto was reacting. “You’re not… you don’t want me to go with you?” 

“No, no, it isn’t that.” Naruto sat up then, leaving Sasuke to just look, watch him as he processed it. His face was nearly blank, only his frantic eyes were revealing what he was feeling. “Then what is it?”

“I just… expected to go alone. I—I told you, it’s partly just for me to be alone. To breathe, to be away from the constant need of the village and everyone in it. I know that it’s still village business, but it’s drawn out. I’ll have time to forget myself. I help children and little old ladies every day, I just need a break.” Naruto was staring down at his lap as he spoke.

Sasuke was starting to get angry then. Angry because he was just so defenseless. “What does any of that have to do with me? I’m not going to be in your way. I’m only going to be there to _ help _. We don’t even have to stay together. I’m not meant to be a problem.” He couldn’t help the way he was starting to spit the words out. Naruto was being so incredibly dense, Sasuke couldn’t take it.

“Yeah, I—I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest, even as Naruto came back and tried to wrap himself around Sasuke again. He let Naruto part his legs, but he refused his embrace. “Am I that much of a burden?”

“No,” Naruto said against the back of Sasuke’s ear, his nose in Sasuke’s hair. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Sasuke sighed, felt like he could cry, and let his arms loose. 

“I just get so scared,” Naruto said, when the silence dragged on. “_Terrified, _Sasuke. Used to be that I’d never get you to come back, and when you did, it was that you’d never feel the same way, and now… I just don’t know how. I don’t know how to be what you want me to be.”

“I don’t want you to be anything that you aren’t already.” A lie.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Sasuke. I know that I’m not enough right now. And I hate it, for the both of us. I don’t mean to be so, so useless.” Naruto’s hand was in Sasuke’s hair, and despite himself, Sasuke’s hands snuck their way up underneath Naruto’s shirt. 

“You’re perfect for me,” Sasuke said weakly, the lump in his throat nearly blocking his words. He pressed his eyes shut right so that he could stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He was _ not _ going to cry. Not here, not now, that was fucking stupid.

At the feel of Naruto’s thumb on his cheek, Sasuke knew he’d already started. Great. He was such a baby about this boy. “You are perfect for me, too.” Sasuke shook his head, turned away, but Naruto pulled him closer so that they were front-to-back. Sasuke felt better that way, anyways. Now, Naruto couldn’t see him crying. “I know I don’t act like it, I know. I want to spend the rest of my time with you, my life. Everything I ever wanted was you.” Sasuke could _ feel _Naruto’s words by the rumble of his chest as he spoke.

“Then why—” Sasuke’s voice was so choked that he couldn’t continue his thought. 

“Because… because _ you _left.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all already know: massive thank you to the people who have read this, all the kudos, and everyone who commented! keep them coming! this one took me a little longer to post because i had to delete like half of it just because i didnt like it lol. i hope you guys are still into the story at the end of this one!

Sasuke’s entire world was falling apart. He felt so safe in Naruto’s arms, but he couldn’t believe what Naruto had just said. 

“What? I don’t know what you mean.”

Naruto was holding Sasuke still, even though Sasuke was crying, even though his body was shaking. “I mean, when you left, I didn’t know if I’d ever trust you again.”

Sasuke sucked in a sharp breath at the admission. Of course, of course not, it was so selfish to think. Here he’d been not trusting  _ Naruto _ for being apprehensive about him.

“I knew I would always feel the way that I did, that I do. It was too late for me, to just not be in love with you. You’re the only one for me. But, that didn’t change the fact that you left, that you betrayed me. You betrayed the village, and our friends, and Sakura and Kakashi, but… me. In those moments I was most worried about me, what you did to me. You broke my heart, Sasuke. When they told us that you were officially rogue…” Naruto’s voice trailed off then, and Sasuke could hear how he was starting to get a little choked up. He decided not to interrupt, to just let Naruto get it all out.

“I never thought you’d do it, really. I knew you were just bent on the hate you had for Itachi, that you had to seek vengeance. You lived for that. I lived for you. Everything you did, I was always right there, I was always so close and yet so far. And you were acting so, so fucking crazy, I didn’t know who you were anymore. The only thing I knew was that you weren’t the man that I loved. You were… warped. You were becoming someone else. I was afraid, and so helpless. I was never going to stop loving you, but you were becoming someone I didn’t like.”

Sasuke finally couldn’t take it, and moved himself around so that he could look upon Naruto’s face. There were tears streaking Naruto’s face. Even as Sasuke tried to wipe them away, they just kept coming. It was as though the memory of who Sasuke used to be was breaking Naruto’s heart all over again. Sasuke drew his lip between his teeth to keep himself from sobbing. “But I’m not like that anymore,” his voice broke as he said it. One of his hands came up from where he was caressing Naruto’s face to move his hair from his forehead. All of the words Naruto was saying felt like needles, knives, swords, carving him open and laying his inner emotions out for all to see.

“I know, I know you say that.” Naruto breathed hard for a moment, wiped at his own face to get rid of the tears. “I want to believe you so badly, because it would just be so easy then. It wouldn’t take effort. Around you, with you, is the only place I ever want to be for the rest of my life. But it isn’t so easy to trust you, after the way you left. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe to you how  _ hard  _ it hurt me. You weren’t around when I needed you the most. The only person I wanted to talk to about you leaving was you. And you were gone, gone, gone.” 

Sasuke watched Naruto as he spoke, the way his face moved. He was displaying a vast sequence of emotions; sad, angry, confused, apprehensive. All the while, Naruto stared at some place on the wall past Sasuke’s head. Probably, looking at Sasuke would cause the dam to break. Sasuke closed his eyes again and listened. 

“The Akatsuki? Of all of the things you could have done, you joined them, even as loosely as you say you were associated with them. They were trying to kill me. And you were one of them. Like… how did you think I’d feel about that? You broke Sakura’s heart, too, when she heard that. She was finished with you after that, but I’ve never been as smart as her. My heart is stupid. My heart is in your hand.” Naruto reached up into his hair to retrieve Sasuke’s hand and poked a finger into Sasuke’s palm. Sasuke’s eyes opened to watch, before slipping shut again. It was too hard to look.

“Right there. That is me. You have me. No matter what you do. It doesn’t matter.” 

Sasuke reached blindly for Naruto’s hand and pressed it to his heart. Beating so fast, so hard, irregular. “This is you,” he said quietly. “This is where you are. In my heart. I know that I was wrong, so wrong, that I did bad things. That I tried to be something I knew I couldn’t sustain. I know they were trying to kill you, they started a war just to kill you and Bee and I just… sat there until the very end. I didn’t know if you’d ever forgive me for leaving.” Sasuke opened his eyes again, this time focusing on Naruto, who was in turn focusing on him. “I don’t really know if you even have, despite what you say. Since then I have tried to be my best, be the person that I was meant to be, the person I was. I’m not sure how many redeeming qualities I have now but I—I can’t lose you, ever.”

Sasuke shoved his face into Naruto’s neck. Naruto seemed to be processing Sasuke’s words as he drew Sasuke closer to his chest, so that there was no room left between them, just heat. Naruto stroked his hand across Sasuke’s back, so soothing, so soft. “You’re not going to lose me. Not if I have anything to do with it.” Sasuke was exhausted from crying, so all he could offer was a small “Good.”

The last thing Sasuke remembered from that night was how he felt just as he fell asleep: the bond between them would never break, no matter what either of them did. Maybe that was stupid, but at that point, it didn’t matter anymore. Whatever they were right then, they’d be  _ something  _ to each other forever.

——————————————————————

The sunlight cutting over his eyes woke Sasuke. At first, he was disoriented. His eyes still ached, and as he shifted, he realized that Naruto had him in some kind of vice grip. Escape was futile, but there was nowhere else that Sasuke would rather be.

He watched Naruto as he slept, how his face for once held no emotions, was simply peaceful. So beautiful. Sasuke felt his eyes growing soft. His heart was already mush. Naruto’s hand was where Sasuke had left it, directly on his heart. He hoped that maybe Naruto would begin to trust him. Sasuke was trying so hard to change, for himself. Most people in the village feared him or didn’t trust him, and while it didn’t usually bother him, he found it mildly annoying how people avoided him when he was minding his own business.

Naruto’s grip on Sasuke grew ever tighter as he shuffled in his sleep, and in the moment, Sasuke’s hips were pulled until they were nearly flush with Naruto’s. Sasuke felt a wave of heat roll over his body that had nothing to do with the covers they were underneath. 

“Sas’ke?” Naruto’s eyes squinted at Sasuke, before opening completely and scanning Sasuke’s face. “You stayed,” he said,  _ awed _ , as if Sasuke would have had anywhere else to go. “Why wouldn’t I stay?”  _ I’m not like you,  _ Sasuke thought bitterly to himself.

“I don’t know,” Naruto shook his head. Sasuke felt some of Naruto’s hair on his face. They were so close together, and Naruto looked about as soft as Sasuke felt. Sasuke didn’t know what they were, still, but he at least now had a clear picture of Naruto’s emotions. He had feelings, and Sasuke would take care to never be so loose with them again. They were his, after all, according to Naruto.

“Sweet boy,” Naruto mumbled, planting butterfly kisses all along Sasuke’s jawline, his cheeks, his forehead. Sasuke laughed lightly and pushed at Naruto’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, now. We have actual  _ stuff  _ to talk about. We have a mission to think about.” Naruto just shrugged and kept on kissing Sasuke’s face, until eventually he trailed back down to the corner of his mouth. “We have all day to think about that,” Naruto pointed out in a husky voice. Sasuke pushed him away and sat up. “You’re right, but we should think about it now.”

Sasuke wasn’t surprised that Naruto hadn’t figured anything out about their mission. That meant that they’d just have to be more diligent about noticing details when they actually got to the Land of Iron. 

So, they attempted to come up with some sort of plausible strategy, or at least  _ something _ so that when they left tomorrow they wouldn’t be scrambling to figure out what to do. 

“They all have dogs,” Sasuke said, pointing to a picture of a woman at the top of her profile, “and dark hair.” They were sitting back to front on Naruto’s bed with the covers drawn up around them. Naruto’s arms were around Sasuke’s middle and his chin was hooked onto Sasuke’s shoulder so that he could see the file, too. Naruto chuckled at Sasuke’s observation. “Somehow, I don’t think that dogs really have anything to do with it.” Sasuke shrugged. “I’m just trying to figure it out.”

All Sasuke really knew about the terrain of the Land of Iron was that it snowed. The only other thing he knew about that place was that they didn’t even use shinobi, they used samurai. The few shinobi that remained just hadn’t gone home yet. Even though there had been negotiations after the war, it was really weird to Sasuke that this was the place that Naruto would have been sent to in the first place. But it was a mission, so they’d do whatever they had to do to see it through. 

“We’ll have as long as we need to figure it out,” Naruto said. Maybe it was meant to comfort Sasuke, but it made him feel worse. No one even knew what was becoming of these vanishing people, and he was worrying himself with the ideas of what could be happening to them. He wanted to figure it out as soon as they possibly could, for the sake of the people. “That’s true,” Sasuke said, “but I don’t want to prolong it just because we have time.” 

“I guess that makes sense. It’s still going to take a long time, though. I hope you realize.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I know.”

Ideally, this would take a few months. Then Sasuke could get back to his life the way it had been before, and Naruto could go about doing missions some more if he still wanted to, for whatever reason. But, Sasuke knew it might take longer than that, a year or so, and that was kind of frightening. Given the strange nature of their relationship right now, spending a year with Naruto  _ alone  _ might not be the best thing for them. A year was a long time when you had to spend it with someone who confused you mentally and emotionally as much as Naruto confused Sasuke.

“It’s really cold there,” Naruto said, possibly to himself. “I remember,” Sasuke said anyway. “I liked it,” Naruto mused. “When I had time to appreciate it. There wasn’t very much time for me to just think about things.” They’d never talked about this, what Naruto had been doing in the time Sasuke was gone, besides a few things here and there. Never had an in-depth conversation about it. And now was not the time, Sashke decided. In fact, Sasuke felt that he’d much overstayed his welcome. He knew if he didn’t leave now, he’d never leave.

Sasuke shut the folder then, and leaned forward slowly until Naruto got the message that news trying to get up. “It’s got to be, like, 12 by now,” Sasuke said. Naruto shrugged, his face displaying slight confusion. “So?” 

“I didn’t mean to stay this long.” Sasuke pushed himself up off of the bed and stretched. Naruto looked as though Sasuke had knocked the breath out of him. He was speechless at first, just watching as Sasuke gathered up the clothes he’d come in. Eventually, when it was clear Sasuke really meant to leave, Naruto stood too. “You sure? I thought we were supposed to talk about… the mission, right?”

“We talked about it. We didn’t figure anything out, so I think we could use some time apart from it. Next time we look at it, we’ll probably figure something out.” Sasuke turned then and made his way to the bathroom to change again. It would be embarrassing to walk back home wearing the clothes he’d left in, but it would be  _ mortifying  _ to be seen in Naruto’s clothes. He’d never live it down. Even if they hadn’t done anything, people would assume, and it was none of their business. 

Sasuke looked at himself intently in the mirror after he’d changed and folded up the clothes Naruto had lent him overnight. He couldn’t help smiling to his reflection. This was what he called a victory. Ok, they had done a lot of crying last night, and yes, he’d spent the night here in the first place, but hey. He couldn’t beat himself up about everything; all he could do was take what he could get. Sasuke took a deep breath and nodded to himself before fixing a blank expression onto his face and exiting the bathroom.

“I left your clothes in there,” Sasuke called over his shoulder, and then he was out the door. The breeze of midday only added to his triumphant feeling. Sasuke thought about what he’d do next. He didn’t really want to go home, because he’d meant what he’d said about taking time away from the intel. If he went home, he’d just pore himself over it, and that wouldn’t help anything.

Sasuke looked up at the sky, and his gaze was drawn to the Hokage mansion, where he knew Kakashi was. Suddenly, Sasuke made his mind up about what he’d do today.

——————————————————————

It was just Sasuke’s luck; when he was allowed to enter Kakashi’s office, he saw that Gai was there, too, sitting a little ways away from Kakashi’s desk. They had apparently been laughing at something before Sasuke came in, because Gai was still chuckling a bit. 

“Sasuke! What brings you here? Don’t you have a mission beginning tomorrow? You can never train too much!” Sasuke could only smile. “I’m a little tired today, Gai-sensei.”

“Still, what brings you here?” Kakashi was serious as ever. Part of Sasuke would always be intimidated by him. He sat, and then began trying to explain why he was there.

“Oh, yes, uh… I wanted to ask you a question, and it’s a coincidence that Gai-sensei is here, too,” Sasuke stammered. Kakashi’s eyebrow rose in question. “Oh? What’s this question?” Sasuke took a deep breath before he forced himself to just say it. 

“How did you know that you were in love?  _ When  _ did you know it?” It was none of Sasuke’s business, he knew that, and Kakashi had never said to him explicitly that the two of them were together, but Sasuke trusted his sensei, and knew that he could count on him to make what was going on a little less muddy in Sasuke’s mind. 

Kakashi and Gai were both silent for a long time, so long that Sasuke began to think that he shouldn’t have asked, that he’d overstepped in terms of what he was allowed to know. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked—”

“It was after the war, the Third War. I was… the easiest way to put it is that I was a wreck.” Kakashi looked to Gai then, who in turn gave him a smile. Kakashi took a breath and continued in a measured tone. “He was always there, always trying to get my mind out of the dark. He checked on me, and made me do things. I was so lost in the dark, everything around me seemed so pointless, and he was… determined to give me a reason to want to live.” 

Sasuke turned his gaze to Gai, but it seemed that he was just going to let Kakashi tell the story. “I guess it’s pretty obvious, even though I never told you. I think—no, I don’t want to think about where I’d be, what I’d be doing if it wasn’t for him. He begged for me to be out of the ANBU, it wasn’t doing me any good. I never would have seen that in myself. I was complacent, my best friends were gone, my father and mother long before that. Gai just made it his mission to make sure that I was okay.” 

It was easy to imagine; Sasuke had seen it before. Kakashi was so serious, and even though he acted like he didn’t care about much of anything, when Gai came around, all of that went away. He’d seen them doing some of their ridiculous challenges before, like crossing the village on their hands or something like that. Those were some of the only times Sasuke had seen Kakashi enjoying himself.

“I just try to support him,” Gai finally spoke then, and Sasuke turned to give him his full attention. “I saw him, what he could have become, and it was so dangerous. He wasn’t a bad person, he had just been through things, terrible things that a lot of other people couldn’t have made it through. I wanted him to see the joy in life, in youth. I wanted him to  _ live.  _ And I wanted him to know that no matter what happened to him, I would always be there for him. There wasn’t, isn’t, a single thing that I wouldn’t try to help him achieve.” 

Sasuke had never seen or heard Gai act so serious. It was touching. Sasuke was having an emotional week, he supposed; he wanted to  _ cry.  _

“So, to answer your question directly,” Kakashi said, still speaking carefully, “I knew that I loved him when I realized that he was the most important thing to me. I hated to admit it to myself, but I looked forward to his challenges, I looked forward to him seeking me out for whatever reason. I enjoyed working with him the most. He makes me happy. For a long time, he was the only thing that made me happy. We have dogs now, so he has some competition, but… we’re old, Sasuke.” Gai’s face seemed to suggest he begged to differ, but he let Kakashi continue.

“We’re not in our prime. We had been past our prime when the war started. It took us a really long time to get here, to understand this feeling. It takes time. Things that are meant to be happen because they’re supposed to. Not because you want them to.”

—————————————————————— 

Sasuke thought about what Kakahi and Gai had said for the rest of the day. Things happen because they’re supposed to. This had to be true, there was no way Sasuke could force anything to come to fruition. If he was meant to have something, it would happen.

Sasuke checked over his packed supplies, scratching his chin as he surveyed it all. He could never have enough clothing, he reckoned, but maybe he could put some of his food back? Everything was just so heavy. He couldn’t put it off until the morning, either, because the morning is when they’d leave. 

Eventually, Sasuke had reasoned with himself and put away some of his clothes. He sat on his bed then, with the file open again. He couldn’t help it, he was a studier. Over and over, Sasuke looked back and forth between the six pictures; another one had been added as Sasuke left Kakashi and Gai. Another young person with dark hair. It made Sasuke’s skin crawl, to think there was was some connection that both he and Naruto were missing that might save these people’s’ lives, or at least get them out of captivity.

Sasuke shut the folder and placed it on his bedside table. As he stared at the ceiling, his mind drifted to Kakashi and Gai, and how hard Gai must have had to work to keep Kakashi sane. Naruto had worked hard to get Sasuke to be happy since he’d come back to the village, albeit in his own ways. He’d asked Sasuke dozens of times to just  _ do  _ things with him, and Sasuke had accepted. It had been Naruto’s idea to start the training every few days, and Sasuke had accepted.

What did any of that mean, though? Just because Naruto was trying to make him happy didn’t mean that they were after the same thing. Sasuke had never even remotely liked anyone before Naruto. Naruto was his favorite thing. Sasuke wanted to shout from the rooftops, at this point, he didn’t care what he had to do to make Naruto know he was  _ serious  _ about him. Naruto just didn’t seem like he was serious about Sasuke. Even after they’d said all they’d said last night, and did all they’d done the week before, Naruto’s current position wasn’t the one Sasuke wanted him to be in. It was pitiful, sickening, how long Sasuke was willing to wait for Naruto to figure this out. But he would wait, his whole life if it took that. 

Kakashi had said it, anyway. It took time. Naruto would just have to take the time. Sasuke thought that if Naruto could formulate such beautiful words from his mind, he could start actually feeling them in his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know if i like this one as much? i hope you guys can guess whats going on with Sasuke lol i just didnt want to reveal it too early. im trying to be more regular with updates but im honestly just posting them as soon as i finish them. i hope you guys enjoy this one too!

Sasuke and Naruto reported to the gates to Konoha at 5 am the next morning. There to greet them were Shikamaru, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, and Yamato. Sasuke felt a warmth in his heart to see all of his former team back together, even if only for this brief period. Sasuke and Naruto faced toward the village, while the rest stood with their backs to it. 

“So, you two are aware of what you’re meant to do?” Kakashi stood in his Hokage garb, the long robe coming just above his ankles and his hat slung across his back. He looked so stark in the dark of the morning, it was hard for Sasuke to pay attention to what they were meant to be saying. “Oh, y-yeah, I remember.”

Naruto spoke then to list the first part of their instructions. “They won’t expect anyone from a hidden village to be coming for them, so it’s appropriate enough to reach our destination together, we won’t have to travel apart. Once we’re there, we report to…” Naruto pulled his sleeve up slightly so that he could see something he’d written there. Sasuke sighed in exasperation. 

“Arashi Yume,” Sasuke supplied. Naruto nodded and made a sound like he finally remembered. “Yeah, yes. She’s going to give us more information, further instructions.” Kakashi nodded, feeling satisfied that they knew what they were going to do. “Seems that you understand. We expect you to be there in a week’s time, and as such will be expect some confirmation of arrival shortly after that.” 

Kakashi stepped forward. “Now, just because there are no known enemy shinobi does not mean that you should go into the situation with your guard down. Obviously, this is a problem that can’t be fixed by their ordinary means. Remain vigilant. It won’t do us any good if either of you is captured due to negligence.” Kakashi placed a hand on each of their shoulders. “Come back in one piece. We have faith in you.” He was smiling. 

Sasuke’s face grew pink at the attention, so he turned his gaze to each of his friends behind him. Sakura and Sai were smiling too, though there was a clear difference in the level of emotion. Sasuke wasn’t as used to Sai as everyone else was, so it was still slightly unsettling that he didn’t know how to smile, not really. Shikamaru had his hands on his hips, and he was watching with one of the most bored expressions Sasuke had ever seen. Captain Yamato’s gaze was more fixed on Naruto, and filled with worry.

“Arigatō, sensei,” Naruto said, and Sasuke echoed him. Sasuke didn’t remember the last time he’d been on a real, official mission, didn’t remember the last time he’d left the village on official business. There was nothing much left to say, so after one last nod, Naruto and Sasuke were on their way.

——————————————————————

Naruto was terrible at reading maps.

“I mean, where even are _ we? _ Where did we start? Where are we fucking going?” Sasuke growled as he snatched the map. “Just give it here, you’re useless. First of all, it’s upside down,” Sasuke said, rolling his eyes as he turned it right side-up. They had decided to save their strength and walk starting out, so that they wouldn’t be exhausted by running when it really mattered. 

“We started from here, and now we’re probably right here, and we’re going here. Kakashi literally marked it for us.” Sasuke pointed with each corresponding _ here _ slowly, so that maybe Naruto might be able to pick up on what he was saying. Their chakra was in the map so that they’d always be able to know where they were. The little dots were moving even as Sasuke pointed to them. Naruto’s face lit up when it finally sunk in. “Oh, I get it now!”

Sasuke rolled his eyes again and folded the map back up carefully. “Maps are not hard to read. How do you ever know where you’re going?” Naruto shrugged. “I don’t know; most of the time I don’t even know where I’m going. I usually get blown off course, either way. I always end up where I need to be,” he said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms and making a smug face.

“Tch. You expect me to believe that, you’re just some wayward traveler that ‘always ends up where you need to be’?” Sasuke used air quotes and mocked Naruto’s tone of voice. Naruto dropped the act. “Yamato read all the maps,” he admitted. Sasuke laughed, and then they fell into silence.

Sasuke started going forward in time as they walked. They’d be in the Land of Iron in a week, maybe, and then they’d stay there for… as long as it took. The thought was terrifying. Sasuke still wasn’t sure how Naruto really felt about him; he just knew that the events of the past week had done nothing but confuse him more. All that he was sure of was that he was more in love with Naruto than ever, and that he was probably very stupid for that. 

“Ya know something?” Naruto said beside Sasuke, causing the latter to shake his head. “I don’t know something,” he replied.

“It’s just, like. We’re probably going to be there for a really long time, I don’t know. Longer than I’m used to being in one place that isn’t home.” Naruto was looking at the sky as he spoke. Sasuke saw something wistful in his eyes. “Oh yeah? But you’ve been all over.”

“Well, I know. But I never stayed too long in any place. I’ve been drifting a lot.” Naruto shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to find some hobbies.” 

Sasuke scoffed. “I have plenty of hobbies: brooding, staring menacingly into the distance, intimidation tactics, sneaking around… wearing black.” Sasuke didn’t know why he was in such a good mood, when he should still be furious with Naruto. Sasuke’s mind drifted back to the night at Naruto’s house, when he’d looked at himself and told himself to just be happy, no matter how short it lasted. He supposed that’s what he was doing now; enjoying his time with Naruto right now instead of trying to find ways to make a conflict. Something told him they’d have plenty of time for that. 

Naruto laughed. Sasuke forced his face not to soften. “I used to have a lot of hobbies, too! Eating ramen, graffitiing some part of the village… no, that was about it,” Naruto said. He was still laughing. Sasuke’s heart was melting out of his chest. This was going to be a long walk. 

——————————————————————

They had been traveling intermittently for three days when Sasuke started feeling off. He was exhausted, even after getting an adequate amount of sleep. He was also getting a lot more touchy with Naruto, taking everything he said to the heart and starting a lot more arguments than were necessary. 

When they made camp on the fifth night, Sasuke was sulking again and Naruto finally couldn’t take it. “Are you sick? You’re being so weird.” They were sitting around the tiny fire they’d made, and Sasuke kept his eyes on it stubbornly. “I’m fine,” he lied. Sasuke felt _ very _sick. He’d been trying to eat, but he was really pretending to whenever Naruto was watching him. He felt that if he consumed anything he’d just throw up, and then Naruto would know for sure. His body felt so tired all the time. Still, Naruto didn’t need to know that, didn’t need to worry about it.

“You are not fine. I don’t see the point in lying to me, Sasuke. I’ll figure it out eventually,” Naruto said, an edge in his voice that Sasuke did not appreciate. “Your face is red, like, all day.” Sasuke was starting to get annoyed with Naruto’s prying. “What does that have to do with anything? Do you think I have a fever or something? I’m fine. And even if I wasn’t, I think I can handle myself. I’m not a baby.”

“Then why aren’t you eating, hm? I know you’re faking, I might be stupid but I see that.” Naruto crossed his arms, and Sasuke just played with his fingers, still avoiding Naruto’s eyes. “You’re not stupid,” Sasuke said quietly. It only served to make Naruto more angry. “That is not the point! You are not okay. I want to know what’s wrong, and you won’t let me help, you won’t tell me, you don’t even want to figure it out yourself.” 

“I don’t need your help, I told you.” Sasuke was growing tired of arguing. He hated to admit it to himself, but Naruto was one hundred percent correct. Sasuke was very sick, and he did need help. He also did not want to figure out what this was, because then they’d just talk about him the whole time, pay attention to him, worry about him, when there was a real mission happening around them.

“Fine. But you need to eat,” Naruto said, “and I won’t take no for an answer.” Sasuke blew a breath out of his nose. “Fine, is there anything sweet?”

Naruto argued to the thin air the whole time he searched their food for something Sasuke might actually eat. “You shouldn’t eat sweets, of all things, you need to eat something to make your body strong, you already sleep so much, I mean, my God, now you want to eat sweets!” Sasuke just sat with his arms crossed and his face turned to the sky. 

“All we have is taiyaki and dango—”

“Give me that, I want that.” Sasuke crossed the small space between them to sit next to Naruto. “I still can’t believe that you won’t eat _ real _food. Like, something that isn’t just sugar. That’s not even good for you, honestly.” Sasuke shrugged and licked his fingers. “I don’t know why you care so much.” 

“What if you get weak from eating little to nothing like this?” Truth be told, Sasuke felt that he might pass out at any second, but he still dismissed Naruto’s worry. “Sure, that’s why you care.”

Naruto snatched the food wrappings from Sasuke and threw them in the fire. Sasuke’s eyes were wide as he watched the paper sizzling and buckling under the intense heat of the flame. Naruto sure was lucky Sasuke had already finished eating it. “You’re being dramatic,” Sasuke said. It was beginning to be funny, the way Naruto was acting so incredibly worried about him. They were barely talking these days because of how irritable Sasuke was becoming, but Naruto still had it in him to worry and care so much. 

“Whatever. Goodnight, Sasuke.”

Naruto made a point to set up his sleeping bag just far enough away from Sasuke that he’d have to use real effort to get to him in the middle of the night or talk to him. Sasuke didn’t care. More fire for him. Sasuke watched as Naruto settled for sleep with his back to him. Sasuke could almost laugh.

Eventually, after what seemed to be an eternity, Naruto turned over so that he was facing Sasuke. Sasuke had known this was coming, it happened like this every night. “Can I come over there?” Naruto whisper-shouted; being stealthy was his number one priority, of course. Sasuke shrugged and turned over in his own sleeping bag so that he was facing the fire, and in a few moments he felt Naruto’s body on him. He was proud of himself, honestly. In all of their time out here in what Sasuke could only describe as the wilderness, they’d only had sex one time. Tonight would not be one of those nights; Sasuke barely had time to think about something like that.

“Thought you were mad at me,” Sasuke said, still facing the crackling fire. “I was,” Naruto admitted. “I’m just cold.” 

“Ok, idiot.”

And in five seconds, Naruto was outside of his own sleeping bag and climbing into Sasuke’s, so that all of a sudden it was _ too _hot, but that was how Sasuke liked it these days. Naruto’s back was to the fire, and he effectively covered it from Sasuke’s view. “I don’t like fighting with you,” Naruto said, before pressing a kiss to Sasuke’s forehead. Sasuke turned his gaze to Naruto’s hair so he wouldn’t have to see the look in Naruto’s eyes. “I know,” he mumbled, defeated.

“You’re worrying me, Sasuke. I’ve never, ever seen you act like this. I don’t know what to do, what to think.”

“Just don’t think about it, I’ll be fine. I’ve been sick before. It’ll go away, it can’t last forever.” Naruto didn’t seem too convinced. “If it’s still like this when we get to the Land of Iron, you’re going to a doctor.” 

Sasuke closed his eyes and decided it would be useless to fight with Naruto about something so trivial. Sure, he’d go to the doctor. And when he did, they’d tell them it was a cold, the flu at worst. Sasuke would survive.

——————————————————————

By the time they could see the gates of the Land of Iron, Sasuke felt so fatigued that he didn’t know if he could take another step. It had been two days since Naruto had told him they’d go to a doctor if it got worse, and _ gotten worse _was an understatement. He’d been sneaking away from their camps to just sit and breathe with his back against trees or his feet dangling into icy water because he was so dizzy sometimes. He was lucky to never have thrown up, with how nauseous he was at every second of every day.

Arriving by night meant that they had two options. They could find Yume and somewhere to lodge now, or start scoping the area for any clues, and sleep later. “Do you want to—”

“Naruto, I’m tired.” That was all Naruto needed to hear. He’d taken to carrying all of their supplies, but Sasuke was still achy. “We can sleep,” Naruto offered. Sasuke hated the amount of concern he could hear in Naruto’s voice. 

“She’ll understand, I think, if we just sleep first, I mean, we’ve been _ walking _for a week, she can’t be mad, I know it’s urgent but this is more important,” Naruto was rambling as they slogged through the snow. Sasuke wasn’t used to this feeling of chill all the way to his bones; he didn't like it as much as he remembered. 

The sun had just gone down, so all of the inns were still open. Naruto was nearly a wreck by the time they got to one that was close enough to the village that they’d be able to get there quickly if they had to. Sasuke tried to take at least some of their things, one bag, but Naruto wasn’t having it. “You just need to go to bed,” Naruto kept saying. There weren’t very many rooms left, but Naruto paid for the best one for the two of them, that just happened to only have one fucking bed.

Sasuke tried to protest when they finally, finally got a moment to breathe, in their room. “You have to calm down.” Naruto was pacing, and it was making Sasuke even more nervous than he already was. “I’m calm.”

“Seriously, Naruto, it’s not that bad. I’m ok, literally.” Sasuke stood from where he had been sitting at the edge of the bed, but he stood up too fast, his head was spinning, and he was so _ hungry _ and so _ tired _. When he looked up he was in Naruto’s arms.

This was just embarrassing, at this point. Sasuke huffed in annoyance. He felt faint, though, like if Naruto hadn’t caught him he would have passed out or something. “You stay right here,” Naruto said, placing Sasuke back on the bed so, so gently, like he was some kind of doll.

Sasuke rolled over and faced the wall. Naruto could worry about him all he liked, Sasuke didn’t want to take part in it. He was too tired to worry. “Come to bed,” Sasuke whined. He’d been very into feeling Naruto touch him lately, at night and even during the day. Naruto came to Sasuke without a word of protest. He wrapped himself around Sasuke, and Sasuke leaned into his touch. 

“Do you think… ah, no. There’s no way.” Naruto’s lips were brushing against Sasuke’s neck as he spoke. “Do I think what?” Naruto shook his head, and Sasuke felt Naruto’s nose against this neck, too. “Never mind. I don’t want to think about it.”

Naruto’s hands were sliding up Sasuke’s shirt, and Sasuke couldn’t help the full-body flush creeping across his skin. Naruto’s hands just stayed where they were, though, about Sasuke’s belly button, and it was confusing. Sasuke was too sleepy to try to figure it out. “I love you, sweet boy,” Naruto mumbled, his breath causing Sasuke to shiver. “I love you too, weirdo.”

Sasuke woke before Naruto, to the feeling of his head spinning, but he was still lying down in a stationary position. His throat was dry, too. It was official: Sasuke had never felt this utterly terrible in his whole life. He didn’t want to wake Naruto up, but he was thirsty, and they had something to do today.

“Naruto,” Sasuke twisted himself so that he could try to shake Naruto awake. Naruto woke himself up, though, when the position changed. “Hm?” Sasuke sighed. “We have to go somewhere.”

Naruto’s eyes opened all the way. “Right.” 

It took them fifteen extra minutes to get ready and out of the room, because Sasuke kept complaining and making Naruto get things for him, like water and his clothes and his shoes. When they finally reported to the coordinates Kakashi had given them, Naruto was the one who seemed exhausted. 

The room was small, and well lit with lanterns. Outside the windows, Sasuke could see the beginnings of a storm. Yume stood before them, her stance slightly in front of those of her security. The first thing Sasuke registered about Yume was that she was very pretty. She had short, dark hair, and she wore glasses over dark green eyes. There was a vibrancy in her tone that made Sasuke want to talk to her forever. It looked as though Naruto felt the same, as he physically relaxed when she spoke.

“Thank you for accepting this mission. So, as you have been briefed, there’ve been some disappearances in recent months, getting more frequent. What we have noticed is that besides having similar physical appearances, these people all led completely different lives.” Sasuke felt the same worry from before beginning to creep up on him. There had to be something else, but these people were no closer to figuring it out than Naruto and Sasuke.

“What we would like you to do at this time is to simply watch. I notice that you,” Yume’s attention focused on Sasuke, “have the dark hair, too. Please, be careful. We still do not know by what means these people are disappearing; whether through genjutsu or through physical incapacitation.” Sasuke nodded. He felt tingly when she looked at him. Something about her was strange, or ethereal, but when she turned her green eyes off of him, he suddenly forgot what he’d even been thinking about. 

“We understand,” Naruto said after glancing at Sasuke, who nodded. Yume reciprocated their nod and sent them on their way. “Maybe take it easy today, because of the weather. I doubt anyone is going to be very active today, let alone kidnappers.”

Sasuke hated being idle when he knew that people’s lives were in danger. Naruto wouldn’t let him outside, not even on the balcony, “unless you’re going to the hospital.” 

So in bed Sasuke remained all day, only getting up to eat more sweets and drink water, and to write Kakashi the confirmation letter he’d be expecting. Sasuke hoped that his hawk could make it through the heavy snow. Naruto came in and out throughout the day, and around 2 is when he finally took his shoes off, signaling to Sasuke that he was going to be in for the rest of the day. “Move over,” Naruto said, before falling on top of Sasuke onto the bed. 

“What’ve you been doing all day?” Sasuke touched a few snowflakes that had stuck in Naruto’s hair. Naruto’s skin was so cold, Sasuke couldn’t help but move himself closer until he felt satisfied that he was sharing his warmth. “I was looking around,” Naruto said simply. Sasuke could see how tired Naruto was, how he was already falling asleep without even changing his clothes. “Put on your pajamas, Naruto,” Sasuke said. Sasuke kept his eyes on the wall when Naruto started to undress in front of him, and welcome Naruto back into his embrace when he’d changed. 

“What were you looking for?” Sasuke noticed that, for the past day and a half no matter what position they were in when they laid together, Naruto’s hands always moved to Sasuke’s belly. It wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t offputting. Sasuke quite enjoyed such intimate attention. “I was looking for places to take you out.” Naruto’s eyes were really shut this time, and his voice was so low that Sasuke was struggling to hear him. Sasuke had been petting Naruto’s hair, but he stopped then. “Take me out?” 

“Like, on a date. Don’t be a weirdo about it,” Naruto mumbled. He burrowed his head into Sasuke’s chest, and then he was asleep. Sasuke could tell because his thumbs had stopped rubbing gently at his skin. Sasuke was confused about his body, but his heart was happy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of spooky season hehe i hope you all are enjoying my work. i’m really enjoying writing it, and reading all the comments and seeing the feedback. thanks for the support! :) hope you guys like this one!

Sasuke found himself alone in bed when he woke up. He knew that Naruto was doing his rounds across the village, finding places that might seem out of the ordinary, or places that were hidden from view or the weather. Sasuke appreciated the silence and solitude. He couldn’t have been bothered to do it, not at this hour. The sun was just barely peeking up over the skyline, and it was made even harder to see because of the light snowfall. Sasuke wished that he’d brought some socks with him, or extra blankets. He missed Naruto because he was so warm. 

It had been going like that for days now, a week or so; Sasuke waking up alone and trying to make himself eat, and then getting back into bed, while Naruto was out for hours. Then, Sasuke would take his turn of rounds, which were significantly shorter than Naruto’s, because Naruto wouldn’t let Sasuke stay outside for very long. Naruto worked through the whole night and part of the day, so that Sasuke could “sleep as much as possible.” 

Sasuke drew the covers back over himself and thought about Yume again. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, and it was weird. He wasn’t sure if Naruto had felt it to the extent that Sasuke had, because it was _ strong _. Then, as soon as she had looked away, Sasuke’s mind had gone blank momentarily. He didn’t like it. It almost felt like genjutsu, or maybe some kind of dojutsu. Maybe Naruto had felt it too? He kept forgetting to ask whenever Naruto was home. 

The only things keeping Sasuke company when Naruto was away were the strange symptoms afflicting his body, his thoughts about Yume, and a cat. A little black cat, that would sit outside of the window sometimes, or on the roof of the neighboring building, and watch Sasuke. Sometimes, Sasuke thought about letting the window up so that the cat could come in, because he was so lonely, but that was dangerous in more ways than one. It was deathly cold outside, for one. Sasuke also probably wouldn’t be able to get the window closed, and there was no telling what would get in then. Sasuke also didn’t know how Naruto felt about cats. 

Sasuke had also received word back from Kakashi, who told them to do as Yume had instructed and scope the area. He had quite enjoyed writing letters; maybe he’d start trying to contact Sakura every now and then.

The door opened then, and Naruto came in all snow-covered and shivery, but he left his shoes on, which was puzzling. “Is it my turn? Don’t you want to rest?” Sasuke stood and went to Naruto, wrapping his arms around Naruto’s cold body. 

Naruto shook his head, and returned Sasuke’s embrace. “It’ll be your turn when we get back,” he said against Sasuke’s hair. “Back?” Sasuke pulled away to look at Naruto. “Where are we going?”

“We’re going to the hospital. Did you think I’d forgotten?” No, Sasuke had just been wishing, _ hoping _Naruto would forget. He thought that he had gotten pretty stealthy when it came to hiding his aches and pains. Apparently not. Sasuke protested the entire time he got dressed for outside. “This is pointless.”

Naruto seemed to think all of Sasuke’s complaining was pretty funny, by the way he was trying not to laugh. “I think this is the opposite of pointless, honestly.” 

“And why’s that?” Sasuke’s voice was flat.

“I don’t want to tell you,” Naruto decided after a moment of humming and scratching his chin. “I was hoping you’d figure it out by now. And, I mean, I don’t really know, I could be wrong… but I don’t think I’m wrong.” The more Naruto spoke, the more confused Sasuke got. “Ok, ok. I don’t even know what you’re talking about, let’s just go before I get back in the bed.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke was beyond annoyed with the situation by the time they reached the village hospital. They hadn’t made up any fake names, there didn’t seem to be much of a point in that since they were so recognizable. Their only choice was to wipe the memories of the people they closely encountered, since they didn’t know who knew each other, or how fast the information about their presence would spread. 

Naruto tried to handle all of the paperwork and whatnot, but Sasuke was fed up with being treated like he was a child. “You don’t know everything about me, let me do that,” Sasuke said, taking the clipboard from Naruto as nicely as he could muster. 

Naruto still thought everything was so funny, until Sasuke said that. “Fine, you’re right. I didn’t think of that.” He sat back and let Sasuke fill out the papers. Sasuke hadn’t meant it to hurt Naruto’s feelings. He would take it back later, when they were home. _ Home._ Back in the room. 

Instead, Sasuke stood and brought the finished papers back up to the desk. The receptionist told him to just stay there, since it would only take a few seconds to process his information, as Sasuke was the first patient to come by in a while that day. She was pretty, too, with long lilac hair that she had pulled into a ponytail. He thought about wiping her memory then, but decided he’d do it when they left, because they’d have to pass her again anyway. 

“They’re ready for you, now,” the woman said, then pointed to Naruto with the tip of her pen. “Will he be coming back with you?” Sasuke looked over his shoulder at Naruto. He was watching Sasuke, and when he saw Sasuke looking he did a tiny little wave and offered a tiny little smile. Sasuke returned the tiny smile, and then closed his eyes briefly so that he didn’t melt or explode or something. “Yes,” Sasuke said after he’d turned to face the attendant. “He’s coming, too.”

Naruto was patient, and he let Sasuke answer all the questions, even though it seemed at some moments that he would have liked to interject. The doctor was another young woman, and her presence was reminiscent of Sakura. Sasuke missed her very much. 

“What seems to be the problem?” She was watching him over the rim of her glasses, her pen poised to start notes. “Well, I… we’ve come here from a long way,” Sasuke began. He looked to Naruto for encouragement, and the warmth of his expression was enough to make Sasuke feel like he could keep going. 

“At first, I thought it was just because I wasn’t used to traveling the way we were. I was feeling really tired, and I didn’t eat very much.” 

“Why didn’t you eat?”

Sasuke lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I thought if I ate I’d throw up.”

“Mm. So, nausea, too?”

Sasuke nodded. When it seemed the doctor had finished her scribbling, Sasuke continued. “So, I thought that maybe all of those things were happening because of the journey, but for the past week, it hasn’t gotten any better. I’ve been sleeping a whole lot, even into the middle of the day sometimes, and I still don’t really want to eat anything besides, like, snacks. And I… throw up, sometimes.” Sasuke cut his eyes to Naruto, whose face looked more annoyed than surprised. 

“How often is sometimes?”

“Uh. Every day?” 

“For a week, two weeks?”

“A week and a half.” Sasuke wondered vaguely what she could possibly be writing so much about. Finally, the doctor circled something at the bottom of the page, and set her notes down on the desk. “I’ll need to administer a blood test,” she said. “For what?” Sasuke’s eyes were wide, that was the _ opposite _ of what he wanted this to end up like. Naruto was still so calm. 

The doctor laughed lightly at Sasuke’s reaction. “It won’t take that long. You can stay here and wait for the results.” Sasuke didn’t really want to do that, but he figured it was safer than having the results be delivered with the chance of them being intercepted. Whatever was wrong with him, they were finally going to find out. 

After pulling gloves on, the doctor opened a drawer in her desk then and dug around inside the desk for a sterile syringe. “It’ll only be a few seconds.” Sasuke pulled his sleeve up and winced as the cold of the alcohol hit the skin on the inside of his arm.

Sasuke closed his eyes and grit his teeth as the needle neared his arm, and he felt Naruto’s fingers twine with his. Naruto was talking to him, maybe to distract him from what was about to happen, but Sasuke’s mind wouldn’t let him forget about it for one second. He sucked in a sharp breath when the needle finally pierced his skin, and then in an instant it was gone and replaced with more alcohol, and then a bandage. 

“Now, you wait here, it’ll only be a few minutes.” The doctor left the room then, and Sasuke took his hand from Naruto’s so that he could press at the bandage. “You still haven’t figured it out, have you? It’s getting sad, Sasuke.” Naruto leaned his head against his hand, while his arm rested against that of the chair. Sasuke pouted. “Why won’t anyone tell me?” 

“She’s going to tell you,” Naruto said, shushing him. “Can you give me a hint?” Naruto hummed. “I don’t know. I think you’ve been acting like a _ baby _ lately, if we’re being honest.” Sasuke rolled his eyes shook his head. “That’s funny, you’re so funny lately,” Sasuke said flatly. Naruto made a face that conveyed ‘you never know’ and shrugged. 

The doctor came back in holding a single piece of paper with a lot of words on it. Sasuke’s fingers were still pressing at his bandage when she started talking. “It’s just as we thought.” Her face was serious and Sasuke felt like he might faint, more than he’d already been feeling that way since she stuck him with the needle. 

“What, what is it?” Sasuke didn’t even attempt to conceal the worry in his voice, or keep it off of his face. The doctor looked between the two of them, and then turned fully to Naruto. “Would you like to tell him?” She offered Naruto the paper.

“Oh, uh—ok.” Naruto accepted the sheet, and after reading over it, his face lit up with one of the purest smiles Sasuke had ever seen. The embodiment of joy. Sasuke fidgeted, but forced himself to be patient with Naruto. It wasn’t like they had anywhere to _ be _, of course not. Naruto said something under his breath, and then looked up at Sasuke.

“You’re pregnant,” Naruto told him, in a voice just barely above a whisper. Sasuke had never felt so much disbelief in his entire existence. 

Sasuke snorted and snatched the paper; he was trying to act mad but his hands were shaking. His eyes scanned the entirety of the page and there, at the bottom, were the results for his blood test. She’d gone ahead and ran tests for a plethora of other things, he noticed, but then his eyes ran over the very last line of text. 

A one word question, PREGNANT?, and a one letter answer typed out beside it, Y. Sasuke just—he couldn’t… believe it. He didn’t even remember how to say his own name now, he was completely speechless. Sasuke didn’t even feel like he was in the room anymore, he felt like he was in a void and there was no escaping real life now.

——————————————————————

To say Sasuke was shocked was an understatement. Of course, now, it was obvious. The nausea, the dizziness, the irritability, the fatigue. Sasuke felt almost dumb. Naruto had realized it at least a week before him, and here he was, still dumbfounded hours later. Sasuke had insisted on taking his turn to surveil, because he couldn’t be near Naruto right now. He had too much to think about right now.

Pregnant, like, with a baby. Naruto’s baby. Of course. This was just his luck; now he was going to be stuck with Naruto forever. They were already going through whatever they were going through emotionally, and now they had to worry about a _ child. _And so far away from home! Sasuke had never missed Konoha as much as he did in that moment. He missed Sakura more than he ever had, too, because she was the only person he really trusted with his body medically. 

Sasuke shook his head for the millionth time in one hour. He was sitting on the roof of some tall building in the middle of the village. Sasuke had been out there for hours, sitting in the snow and thinking. He hadn’t even really been looking for anything like he was supposed to be. He was about to finally call it a day and go back to the inn, but then something out of his peripheral vision caught his eye. 

It was Yume, Sasuke realized. He narrowed his eyes. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, but seemed to be able to find her way around just fine. _ So they weren’t real _, Sasuke thought to himself. There were two men with her, as always. Sasuke realized that he’d never seen either of them move when they reported to her, and now that he saw them walking, he figured out why. They walked like they were automated, or remote controlled. There was definitely mind control going on here. 

Yume and her guards were moving through alleys, probably so as not to be seen. The sun had just recently gone down, and they also have the advantage of the cover of the snow. Sasuke looked around them in a slow radius, to see if anyone was waiting to meet them. He thought he saw someone standing in a doorway, but then a flash of black out of the corner of his eye distracted him. 

It was the cat. 

Sasuke’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, and when he looked back to where he’d last seen Yume, she had vanished, and the snow had already covered her tracks. “Damn it,” he mumbled, slamming his fist onto his knee. “Why’d you have to come over here?!” he whisper-shouted to the cat, who just looked back at him with huge green eyes. 

Sasuke was too frustrated and cold to concentrate, so he decided he’d wrap this up and go back to Naruto. When he moved from sitting to crouching, the cat jumped away from him and off of the roof. It disappeared into the snow. Sasuke didn’t bother following after it. He thought that if he stayed out here for three more minutes he’d freeze to death. He supposed now was a better time than ever to face Naruto; they still hadn’t talked about it, but Sasuke could prolong it a little longer with his news.

“I saw something,” Sasuke said as soon as he busted into the door. “Hey, hey, calm down, slow down,” Naruto said. Sasuke cast off his snow-covered clothes and his shoes, and sat with Naruto around their little kitchen table. “What did you see?”

Sasuke described what he’d seen to Naruto, who listened intently. “So… so you think she’s up to something?” Sasuke nodded. “I don’t know, I feel like the cat has to do with it, too.”

“We have to tell Kakashi,” Naruto said. Sasuke nodded again. He was thankful that he’d been the one who got up to get the stationary, because his back was to Naruto when he said, “We have to tell them about the baby, too.”

Sasuke sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Do we? That has nothing to do with the mission. That’s what we correspond with him for, to tell him about the mission. Me being—you know, telling him that won’t help anything.” Sasuke faced Naruto then, but ignored the look on his face. “It’s important for them to know,” Naruto pressed. 

“I don’t want them to know, ok?” Sasuke slammed the paper and pen down onto the table in a fit. “I don’t want anyone to know right now. I don’t want to tell anyone, I don’t want anyone knowing about this for as long as possible.”

Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why not?” 

Sasuke sighed. He had been dreading this conversation all day. “Because, Naruto. It’s one thing for people to know that we… like each other, or love each other, or whatever. Have feelings. It’s an entirely _ different _ thing for people to know something so private as the fact that we actually went that far. And, and has it occurred to you that maybe I’m not ready, that maybe we aren’t ready? For something like this, to be a family? So far away from home? We’re going to be stuck with one another for the rest of our lives. And I know what you said, that was your plan anyways, but you never act like it, and so I’m not sure how much faith I have in the way you actually feel about me. Versus what you say.”

Sasuke hadn’t articulated it as completely as he’d wanted to, but those were his main points. He didn’t think he was ready, he knew Naruto wasn’t ready, people were going to know their business, and now Naruto knew that Sasuke didn’t believe him when he said he loved him. 

Naruto sat there across from Sasuke, looking at him but not seeing him, his mouth opening and closing for a moment before he figured out what he wanted to say. He looked a little hurt, but he masked it well enough when he spoke. “I guess I didn’t think about the fact that this isn’t an ideal situation. We _ are _ far away from home and familiarity, and this is already so dangerous. But I—I don’t care what anyone else thinks in the slightest when it has to do with you.” Naruto’s hand laid over Sasuke’s, and he let it, but he didn’t return the affection. 

“I don’t care, I just don’t. I love you, and now everyone is going to know how much.” Sasuke turned away, unable to look at Naruto’s stupid face. He didn’t want to see it that way; that wasn’t real life. “Naruto—”

“I know that you don’t believe me, because of what I did a month ago, and I haven’t really tried to make it up to you very much. I just… I want you to believe me, and I want to be with you forever, the right way, not the way I was before. It’s going to be ok, Sasuke, everything is going to work out.” 

Sasuke shook his head. “That’s not how life works, Naruto. Anything could happen to either of us at any time, and now there’s someone _ else _ involved, who didn’t ask for any of our problems. We have to be there for them, whoever they are, and I’m not the most reliable of people. I just don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t _ want _to do this. I’m scared, Naruto.” 

Sasuke’s voice was shaking, and so were his hands, and then he was crying. Sasuke took his hand from Naruto’s and wiped his face. He dragged himself across the room until he hit the bed, and then shoved his face underneath a pillow so that maybe Naruto wouldn’t bother him anymore. 

Fat chance, of course; Sasuke felt the bed dip, and Naruto’s warm body was pressed next to him. “Sasuke,” he said, “you’re throwing a fit.” Sasuke shrugged. “I can throw a fit,” he mumbled, his voice muffled because of how he had covered his head. “I’m _ pregnant _, after all. This is your fault.”

“Fault? There’s no fault in this.” Naruto’s voice was so close to Sasuke’s ear that it made Sasuke shiver. “We did this together.” Sasuke shifted so that he was turned onto his side, and so that he could see Naruto’s face. Naruto slung an arm around Sasuke’s waist. Comfortable. Sasuke hated how easy this felt. Naruto’s other hand came down to Sasuke’s belly. 

“Quit it,” Sasuke said, but he made no moves to make Naruto stop. “This is our baby,” Naruto whispered, causing Sasuke to shiver again. “It doesn’t even feel like anything is there,” Sasuke said. Despite himself, he was nearly beginning to warm up to the idea. He hadn’t ever fit a family into his life plans, but this was… pleasant. And with Naruto, no less. Sasuke closed his eyes so that he didn’t cry anymore than he already had. 

“Maybe it will be ok,” Sasuke said. He felt Naruto’s hand move from his belly to his face. So gentle. Sasuke was so weak. He didn’t ever want to do anything else, but be with Naruto, and their _ baby _, and be happy. For the rest of his life. And in that moment, Sasuke decided that he would do whatever he had to, in order to see that become reality. No matter what it took.

“It will be, ok,” Naruto echoed. Sasuke opened his eyes then. “Do you promise?”

“I promise. I will stake my life for you, and for them. I will do whatever I have to do. I would die for you, Sasuke. And now, for this baby. Our baby.” 

Sasuke felt peace in the solemnity of Naruto’s tone. “I believe you,” he said quietly. For now, the words Naruto had just said were enough to make Sasuke feel like he didn’t have to worry as much as he had been before.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a hard to writing this one, because i was debating what part of the story to advance, but basically this ended up being a filler, so i’m sorry about that :( still, i hope you all enjoy it! 
> 
> ps: check the tags ;)

If Sasuke had thought Naruto was being overprotective before, he regretted it. This was a side to Naruto that he’d never seen. 

Whenever Sasuke came back from his watch, Naruto would have already drawn Sasuke a bath, and done his best to prepare something nutritious, though Sasuke was still having an aversion to food and never ate very much. Naruto even started buying Sasuke clothes, and blankets, because he knew how Sasuke liked to sleep all bundled up, so warm he was almost hot. He rubbed Sasuke’s feet, he forced Sasuke to tell him about his day, he was beginning to _ listen. _

All of Naruto’s efforts were not lost on Sasuke. He was just taking his time and really trying to get to know Naruto. It had dawned on him that while he was certain he knew Naruto more than he knew anyone else, there were still so many mysteries about him. Sasuke had no idea what Naruto thought about a lot of things, and in this time he would find those things out. There was a lot to think about and figure out, and there wasn’t that much time.

Sasuke knew that, inevitably, he’d have to forfeit his position on this mission. He would eventually have to go back home. This was no place for pregnancy, no matter what caliber of a shinobi he was. There were some things that even he could not do. Plus, he didn’t want to have a baby so far away from home. A baby. The thought sent Sasuke’s mind spinning every time.

Sasuke wondered if Naruto had realized any of this. Of course, it was easy to live in their bubble, just the two of them and their kid, but that wasn’t real life. In real life, two more people had been kidnapped, and Kakashi was growing impatient with their lack of intel or leads, if the tone of his letters were to be taken serious. Sasuke was getting impatient, too. Naruto hadn’t felt any effects from Yume, just that she herself was beguiling.

It was even more frustrating to think that Sasuke had been so close to a break, but then that cat had ruined everything. Ever since that day, Sasuke had seen the cat a million more times, always watching him. Whether he was at home waiting for Naruto to return, or if he was actually outside looking for clues, that cat was around, watching. Naruto complained whenever Sasuke talked about it, because he had _ never _seen it. At first he’d acted like Sasuke had made it up, but eventually he got to a place where he just wasn’t listening whenever Sasuke talked about it. 

Naruto was away for the night, but not on watch. Yume had come asked them to meet her, but Naruto had made up some excuse so that Sasuke could stay home. Naruto had been gone for hours at that point, and in that time, Sasuke decided he didn’t want to stay home, and that instead he would go and find something to _ do _while he was inside so much. 

The sun was down but the village was still bustling with life as Sasuke made his way into its center. He had bundled himself up in his warmest all black clothes, but he was still pretty chilly. There were plenty of things to do, but right now he just wanted to find something quiet, like books or— or paints. 

Sasuke had never been very much into art, but it was something he’d always wished he’d done. Maybe if he’d had a hobby before he wouldn’t be so… empty all the time. He’d have something to look forward to. Now, right before his eyes was a shop with bright lights that had a palette above it; an art shop. He’d surely be able to find something here.

The shopkeeper was a tiny old lady with dark skin and the longest, silkiest white hair that Sasuke had ever seen. She looked almost like a ghost or something from the back, since her hair nearly touched the floor. She was bent over something behind the front counter, but she whipped around upon hearing him enter. “What a surprise!” she said, and Sasuke was taken aback by how strong her voice sounded, for her outward appearance to be so frail.

“I’ve never seen you before, you must be a visitor.” Sasuke scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, yes, I’m not from around here,” he admitted. There was something about this woman that Sasuke decided he liked. 

“Chibana Chinami” the little old woman introduced herself. “You don’t have to tell me your name,” Chinami said with a wink. At first, Sasuke thought she was just recognizing his hesitance, but then he realized that she probably already knew who he was. Who didn’t, at this point. She came around the counter then, and took one of Sasuke’s hands in both of hers. She wasn’t very wrinkled, now that Sasuke got a good look at her. She was cute.

“What brings you in here, young man? It’s cold out there! You must have a good reason for coming outside.” Sasuke shrugged, and cast his eyes around at the various wares on the shelves. “I just… I have a lot of free time on my hands, during the day, and I wanted to see if I could find something to do. Like, something creative. I’ve never been into art, but I’ve always wanted to be.”

Chinami was listening to Sasuke as he spoke, and then tugged him by the hand toward the back of the store. “I think you’ll like these,” she said. She had brought Sasuke to the acrylic paints, in all sorts of colors. There were cute little pots, too, and paint brushes that ranged from tiny to huge. Sasuke let out a small appreciative sound and started running his fingers over the tops of the bristles, the edges of the tubes, and the rims of the pots. “How much, for a set?”

Chinami shook her head, as though the notion was ridiculous. “Take them,” she said. It was Sasuke’s turn to disagree. “Oh, I couldn’t.” They insisted back and forth, but eventually Chinami won him out with the promise that when he needed something new, she would take his money. Sasuke watched as she wrapped up his pots and brushes and colors. She had also given him three canvases of varying sizes. He looked up, out the window, at a light that looked to be almost flickering because the snow was flying past it so fast. He was thinking about Naruto, and what he was doing. Sasuke had been a lot more worrisome in the last few days.

“Now you make sure to bring me back whatever you make, so that I can see it. And you give it to whoever’s got you making that face,” Chinami said as she slid Sasuke’s goods across the counter after she’d finished wrapping them. “Worrying yourself isn’t healthy, isn’t good for your body. Shoo, shoo, go home now. I want you to get started as soon as you can!” Sasuke could only give her a small smile before she was forcing him out the door, back into the cold. 

——————————————————————

When Sasuke returned, he saw that Naruto was back. He had apparently tried to wait up, because though he was sprawled across the bed, he was still wearing his outside clothes. Sasuke took great care to place his things on the table and lean his canvases against the wall near the doors as quietly as possible. He stood watching Naruto sleep for a moment, contemplating whether to wake him up to ask him how everything had gone, or just letting him be, when Naruto raised his head from the pillows and squinted in Sasuke’s direction.

“Come here,” Naruto said, and Sasuke obliged, like he was under some spell. His voice told Sasuke one thing. They could talk about Naruto’s visit later. On his way over, Sasuke was dropping his clothes, because he knew that Naruto wanted to touch him, touch his skin, and there was just no time to waste. When Sasuke got to the edge of the bed he was only wearing his underwear, and he always left them on because he knew how much Naruto appreciated being the one to take them off. 

Naruto pulled Sasuke so, so close, impossibly close, and Sasuke couldn’t help but shiver at the feeling of Naruto’s hands on his bare skin. It had been a week and 3 days since they had found out Sasuke was pregnant, and in that time, Naruto had suddenly been so _ into _him. Of course, there were the baths and the foot rubs and the long talks and the food, but there was also a lot more sex. It had been ten days, and Sasuke could think of 5 instances off the top of his head in that time when they’d done it. 

But now was not the time for thinking. Naruto was kissing him gently but with hunger, like he’d missed Sasuke so much, like they hadn’t seen each other for weeks instead of hours. The longer they kissed the whinier and more handsy Sasuke got. First he was fisting Naruto’s hair, and then running his fingers up and down Naruto’s arms, and then he was struggling blindly to open Naruto’s pants and get them _ off. _

Sasuke felt his fingers graze Naruto’s bare hip, and even though it was so cold outside, Naruto was scorching. Sasuke pulled away from Naruto to breathe, and to actually look at what he was doing. He could feel Naruto’s hands in his underwear, and it distracted him for what he was trying to do. 

Naruto’s fingers were sneaking their way between Sasuke’s legs, and his other hand was attempting to shove Sasuke’s underwear down so that he could get better access. Sasuke parted his legs for Naruto easily. He sucked in a sharp breath and let it out in a sigh when Naruto’s fingers slid over him, and then _ in _him.

Sasuke’s fingers dug into Naruto’s shoulder as Naruto worked him open, slow at first, before he grew impatient. Sasuke had wrapped a hand around Naruto’s dick, and he stroked it in time with how Naruto’s fingers were pushing in and pulling out. Sasuke’s breathing was all ragged and shallow, and he moaned when he felt Naruto’s mouth on the skin of his neck. He was already sweating. Naruto was using his teeth, making Sasuke all shaky.

Sometimes Sasuke wished that they’d do it slower, with a little less urgency, but he could never complain when Naruto swatted his hand away and he felt the tip starting to push inside, most times slowly, but this time all at once. Sasuke bit his lip to stifle his moan halfway. 

Naruto never wasted any time. Sasuke’s mind was on a flip with just how fast Naruto always took him, like they’d never get to do it again, or like they’d never done it before, he didn’t know. Sasuke’s mind was buzzing with the way Naruto made him feel, with the sound of Naruto’s name as it tumbled from Sasuke’s lips, with the image of Naruto’s face. Sasuke was moaning so loud that he couldn’t even really hear himself think, until Naruto’s hand came up to cover his mouth. “Thought you didn’t want people to know we went this _ far _,” Naruto teased in a rough voice, right up against Sasuke’s ear. Sasuke’s mouth was covered, but he wasn’t capable of answering Naruto anyway. 

Naruto’s other hand was digging into Sasuke’s hip hard, and that biting sensation was the only thing grounding Sasuke, keeping him from completely floating away. Sasuke thought maybe he could hear the bed starting to squeak, but then Naruto shifted just slightly so that he was hitting a different angle and Sasuke’s mind was all white noise again. 

Naruto’s lips were bumping against Sasuke’s skin while he whispered things into Sasuke’s ear, like how good it was, how much he had missed him, how fucking hot it was, how much he needed Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t bother trying to be quiet since Naruto was covering his mouth, and he whined in response to everything Naruto said. Sasuke’s nails were scratching over Naruto’s shirt, over and over again, harder the deeper Naruto fucked into him. 

Naruto had a way of letting Sasuke know when he was about to lose control. He would let up suddenly, change the pace to agonizingly slow. Sasuke would feel the tickle of Naruto’s hair on his cheek as he disconnected from Sasuke’s neck, and Sasuke knew Naruto was watching him then. Sasuke opened his eyes to meet Naruto’s. They were soft, but Sasuke could still see the want there, the intense _ need _ to finish. It was his favorite shade of blue, favorite way to be looked at.

With every stroke Naruto was taking Sasuke’s breath away, so hard and so deep. The hand on his mouth had let up, and instead came up to tuck Sasuke’s hair behind his ear. Sasuke closed his eyes even before he felt Naruto’s lips on his. Sasuke let Naruto do whatever he wanted. He wouldn’t have wanted to stop him even if he could have.

The rough sounds Naruto was making were drawing Sasuke closer to the edge, and then Naruto’s hand went to his _ belly _of all the places, his thumb running over Sasuke’s navel, and that was really all that he could take. Sasuke came with a bitten-off gasp. He used to be embarrassed by the way his legs twitched or the sounds he made, but he had stopped worrying about things that would never matter a long time ago. Naruto liked every part of him, everything he did, especially in moments like this. 

Sasuke let Naruto use him to finish then, walking his fingers up and down Naruto’s arm and across his shoulders. He could feel it, the stuttering of Naruto’s hips, and then the warmth of Naruto’s seed in him. It reminded Sasuke of the mess that they were in, how they gotten into it in the first place, but in those moments when he was satisfied and floaty and being held by Naruto’s strong arms, he just told himself that they’d figure it out. Sasuke whined when Naruto pulled out of him. He was too weak to push Naruto off of him. He felt Naruto lift himself up so that he could lazily pull his shirt over his head and throw it onto the floor, and then he lied next to Sasuke instead of directly on top of him.

“Why’re you so obsessed with this?” Sasuke’s hand was over Naruto’s, where he had splayed his fingers out over Sasuke’s belly again. “I can’t help it,” Naruto said with the smallest of shrugs. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you and them. Together.” Sasuke rolled over until he could lay his head on Naruto’s chest. Naruto’s arm slung around Sasuke’s shoulder as if by instinct. 

“You’re just saying that,” Sasuke mumbled into Naruto’s chest. “No, I mean it.” Sasuke rolled his eyes and then let them fall shut, before he fell asleep. 

——————————————————————

“You have to tell me what you talked about with her,” Sasuke was saying. He’d tried to eat what Naruto had put in front of him, but he only had a stomach to eat the fruit part. Naruto would eat whatever he didn’t, anyways. The package from the art shop had been shoved to the edge of the table that was against the wall, forgotten for now. Sasuke watched Naruto intently as he went about cleaning up the kitchen. 

“Oh! Oh, yeah. It wasn’t that special, honestly. But, I did see the cat. Very nice eyes, very good cat. It was a lot less interesting than you made it seem. But, she kept asking about you. She really wished you’d been there.” Sasuke’s eyebrow raised at this. “What do you mean? How did you know?” 

Naruto shrugged. “She just kept asking, “Where is he?”, “Are you sure he can’t make it?” Stuff like that. She was distracting herself from what she was trying to say,” Naruto said, mimicking Yume’s tone whenever he quoted her. “And what was she trying to say?”

“She said that people were starting to… return. The people that were getting kidnapped are going back home, but of course their memories are wiped and there’s no trace of foreign chakra or anything like that on them. They weren’t physically exhausted, either, so now it’s even more of a mystery. She was showing me some pictures; some of them looked kinda like you, actually.” Sasuke felt that same skin crawly feeling, like there was something directly in his face that he was missing. 

Naruto had spotted his package from the art shop then, and came over to probe his fingers over it. “What’s all this?” Sasuke still had time to be embarrassed when Naruto asked him about his personal interests. “Oh, it’s just paints. It gets kind of boring when you’re gone, I just wanted to have something to do besides sleep.” Naruto hummed in thought and then started opening the paper wrapped around the pots and brushes. 

“So,” Naruto was turning over one of the pots in his hands, over and over, “you’re going to paint? Paint what?” Sasuke shrugged. “Whatever comes to me, I guess. I don’t have a plan for it right now.” 

Naruto’s face changed then, as if he’d made up his mind. “I’m going to stay with you today. And tonight.” Sasuke blinked. “Are you sure?” 

Naruto shrugged. “Yes, why not? It’s kind of cold out there.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “And, maybe everyone will just walk back home and the problem will solve itself.” 

“You know it isn’t going to work like that,” Sasuke said. Naruto had come and wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s chest, of course touching his belly, and Sasuke leaned back into it. 

“Kakashi says that I have to go back home, soon,” Sasuke said. Naruto made a sound of disapproval. “What? Why?” 

“Because,” Sasuke said with a sigh, “he says this isn’t a place to have a baby. And I think he’s right.” Sasuke detangled himself from Naruto and went over to the bed to grab a blanket before dragging himself along to the couch. He plopped down and opened up the blanket for Naruto, who was already falling down onto the sofa next to him. “I don’t want you to leave.” Naruto’s head was on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“I don’t want to leave either. But you have to think, Naruto, think realistically. I don’t know anything about this place, and neither do you. So, we’ve lived here for, like, a month and a half. We’ve learned a little about the place, the people, whatever. But I can’t stay here, you know, our baby belongs in Konoha. We both belong back there.” Sasuke could see Naruto’s mind working, and the conclusion he was coming to was making his face twist into one of worry.

“It isn’t that I don’t think you should go back, I know you should, in the back of my mind.” Naruto’s hand was sliding up Sasuke’s t-shirt, so that he could press a thumb against Sasuke’s belly button. Sasuke felt his heart swell. “I will miss you, so much. And, and the whole point was that we’d be here together, you know? We’ll learn more about the place the longer we stay here, obviously. I feel like we could work it out. But that’s just what I _ feel. _ I _ know _it can’t work out that way.” 

Sasuke sighed. It wasn’t even like they had that much longer to be together. Kakashi had written that he was going to send an escort for him in a month. He had to leave before it was obvious what was happening. Sasuke knew that Kakashi didn’t mean to sound so rigid, that it was just a part of his job to be so professional and short, but it still made Sasuke feel like he shouldn’t be happy. Like what he and Naruto had created was just an accident that had to be taken care of, fixed, before it got out of hand. 

“We’ll just have to make the most of the time while you’re here.”

——————————————————————

Having Naruto home meant that Sasuke’s time was spent a lot differently. He would usually sleep, and eat snacks because Naruto wasn’t there to tell him to eat ‘real food.’ But today, Naruto was home, and so Sasuke made himself stay awake. It was very comfortable, to be able to look up and see Naruto across the room, or to hear him doing things. It made Sasuke crave home just that much more. 

Naruto had been very interested in the paints, and he wanted Sasuke to try some, at least on the tiny canvas. One for him. Chinami’s words rang in Sasuke’s ears as he sketched on the canvas, “and you give it to whoever’s got you making that face.” It was fitting that Naruto wanted the first painting to be for him.

Sasuke had decided that a flower would be easy enough. Then, it started turning into that stupid swirl, the red one that Naruto used to wear on his shirt when they were little. And then, Sasuke decided to put _ that _at the top of the Uchiha fan crest, so that it was both of them at once. He decided halfway through his sketching that he didn’t want to give it to Naruto, that he was going to take it with him when he left so that he could give it to the baby. For now, though, he let Naruto think it was for him. 

Naruto was over Sasuke’s shoulder the whole time he was sketching, but he retired to the bed when Sasuke started mixing colors. With his time, Sasuke couldn’t help but think of the future once again. In just about a month, he’d be home again, and with everyone he’d known all of his life. He’d have to tell _ everyone, _eventually; not right away. There would be people who already knew, like Kakashi and probably Yamato, Sakura, and Shikamaru. There would be people who would be able to tell, like Kiba, because of his nose, and Shino because… he was weird like that, he knew everything. And then, there would be people who would find out, when he started showing. It was really no one else’s business, besides his and Naruto’s, but the baby would grow, and then everyone would feel like it was their business, too.

Sasuke could imagine people coming up to him, all excited, asking to _ touch _ and _ when’s he/she due? You must have a name picked out, right? Oh, it must be so hard with Naruto not around _. He rolled his eyes at the thought. Of course it would be hard without Naruto, it would be hard enough already. Being alone was not something he wanted to be reminded of. He could imagine the judgment, too, of what he and Naruto had been doing behind closed doors, which again pertained to no one but them. But then, Naruto would finish this silly mission, and he’d be home, and he wouldn’t miss too much. He would come home, and they’d be able to watch their baby grow together. 

Sasuke sighed as he began applying paint to the canvas. How simple life was in his mind. He looked over his shoulder at Naruto, and felt his heart do a leap. Nothing on this planet would take this happiness away from him; he’d rather die.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, so it wasn’t as long as i thought it’d be, but that’s mostly because i have a surprise for the next chapter that made me have to cut this one off a little earlier than i would have liked to. i’ve never really been great at thinking of plots ahead of time and doing foreshadowing, so i did my best with this one lol let me know what you guys think. our sasuke is in trouble!! 
> 
> also, there is a slight trigger warning towards the middle, if you have a problem with miscarriage or anything to do with that then pls pls don’t read it babe, i don’t want to trigger anyone. when Kakashi tells Sakura to leave ((lol spoilers)) is when it starts, so please, don’t read it if you can’t handle it!! it ends at the next little time skip thing. 
> 
> I hope you all like this one, chapter 8 coming as soon as possible!!

How fast a month passes. 

Sasuke and Naruto had let themselves lose track of time in themselves and imagining life with their baby. Sasuke had finished his first painting, and he’d cried when he came home and Naruto had hung it. He was lucky that he hadn’t gotten any bigger in a month’s time, but he knew that this good fortune wouldn’t last long. 

Sasuke stood facing Naruto now, with his back to the escort. Naruto’s back was to the village. It was snowing, but just a light dusting had collected over them as of yet. Sasuke had hot tears in his eyes, and he tried to wipe them away as fast as they came, but too many came all at once. The last time he’d left Naruto was in a fit of rage, an insanity, an obsession with something he had realized he’d been _ wrong _about. 

Sasuke could feel himself about to sob, his shoulders were already starting to shake. Naruto’s arms were around him in an instant, so fast that Sasuke was confused as to how Naruto had closed the gap between them so quickly. He didn’t let himself think too much, though, just returned Naruto’s embrace. He’d never wanted to be held by someone so badly. If Naruto hadn’t enveloped him in that moment, he would have fallen apart. 

Naruto’s hands were in Sasuke’s hair, petting him and then brushing it out of Sasuke’s face so that he could see his eyes. “It’s going to be ok,” Naruto whispered, over and over, until Sasuke could barely hear him over the sound of his own crying. He had forgotten about everyone else there, because there was no one else there. It was just Sasuke, Naruto, and their world as they knew it being changed forever. Sasuke had tried to tell himself he was being dramatic, they’d see one another soon enough, but how could he know that for sure? He couldn’t. For all he knew, they’d never see one another again, and their baby would never know who Naruto was, and Sasuke would be alone forever. 

“I’m going to miss you so much, think about you everyday,” Naruto said. His words fanned hot over Sasuke’s ear as he spoke. “And you have to write me, ok? You have to, and tell me all about what’s going on at home. I’m going to come home sooner than you know it, and then we’ll be together, you and me and the baby. Forever.” Sasuke sniffled against Naruto’s chest. “Do you promise?” 

“I stake my life on it.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke tried his hardest not to be annoying. He wasn’t used to these people, he was used to Naruto. It wasn’t even people that he knew. He thought for sure at least Sakura would be there for him, so that at least he’d have her to talk to, but these were just chunin. Kakashi hadn’t even sent jounin to escort him back. Sasuke had half a mind to be feel disrespected, but he decided he didn’t care, and he didn’t care about them, either. They would only be with him a week, and then he probably wouldn’t see any of them again.

Sasuke wanted to run, wanted to get home as soon as possible, but apparently Kakashi had put a limit on that. “We can only run for four hours at a time, sir. Hokage-sama said we have to make sure you don’t overexert yourself.” It made Sasuke feel puny, to think that Kakashi didn’t think he could handle running. 

“Make it five hours and I’ll have him promote you the moment we get back.” That was enough for them. Who were they to tell Sasuke no, anyways?

Sasuke would soon regret trying to exercise authority over them, because he was exhausted. He didn’t think he’d ever been more tired in his life as the journey dragged on. Eventually, it got to the point where Sasuke didn’t think they’d make it back in a week, because he just kept having to stop. Sometimes, he just needed to rest an hour or so. Sometimes, he felt unbearably dirty and needed to take a bath. Sometimes, he needed to throw up. Sometimes, he just needed to go to sleep. Sasuke knew he was endangering their mission by making them stop so frequently, but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t used to being so weak; in all his life, he’d always has strength enough to get through anything set out before him. Now, he couldn’t even walk in a straight line for a whole day. 

One night, around a fire created by Hiroki, one of the chunin, the other two posed Sasuke a question. Kazue, the eldest of them (they were brothers), had set out their food. Izumi, the middle brother, kept fidgeting and looking at Sasuke as though there was something he wanted to say. “What?” Sasuke finally asked, growing irritated.

Izumi’s face grew all red. Sasuke recognized that even in his condition, he was intimidating them all. “Oh, it’s nothing, I was just, well, _ we, _were just wondering, um…” His voice trailed off then, and he looked to Kazue for help. 

Kazue rolled his eyes. “We were just wondering… what it’s like?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “What _ what _is like?” Kazue grew more sheepish the longer Sasuke fixed his gaze on him. “Being… pregnant.”

It was none of their business, is what Sasuke wanted to say. They should find more important things to worry about. But, Sasuke missed Naruto immeasurably. Perhaps, talking about their baby would sate the ache for now. 

“It doesn’t feel very different right now, not really. Besides the throwing up, and going between not eating to wanting to eat everything. I used to wake up a lot earlier, too, and sleep a lot less. But, physically, it isn’t too much different right now. It’s just, in my heart— there’s no way to describe the feeling.” 

The three of them were enraptured as Sasuke spoke. “It’s my greatest accomplishment, really. I’ve done a lot of things with my life, and some things I am not proud of.” Sasuke’s eyes turned up to the night sky, and he looked at the stars as he continued. “But, I’d give up everything else to feel this way forever. I love them. I don’t know who they are, or who they will grow to be, but I have never been more proud of myself. I’ve never felt so deeply about someone. Someone I haven’t even met.”

“Do you think that they will be a powerful shinobi?” It was the youngest of them, Hiroki, who spoke up this time. Sasuke shrugged in response. “They’re going to be whatever they want to be. I don’t care what they do, as long as they’re happy. If they decide not to be a shinobi, that’s fine, too. It’s not up to me.” 

Sasuke wished Naruto was there more than ever. He knew that if Naruto had been around, he would have already been pressing a hand to Sasuke’s belly. Sasuke’s own touch just wasn’t the same, but he let his hand rest there all the same. “I think we can call it a night,” Izumi said. He must have noticed the tears in Sasuke’s eyes. 

“We’ll be back to Konoha by midday tomorrow, whether we walk or run,” Kazue said. “So, if you’d like, we can walk this time?” 

Sasuke had already slid himself into his sleeping bag, and his eyes were already closing. “Sure. As long as I can see Sakura tomorrow.”

——————————————————————

The sun was at its highest point when the gates to Konoha came into Sasuke’s view. He still felt empty, being away from Naruto, but at least he would be home. 

Sakura was waiting for him, along with Yamato. “Sasuke!” Sakura enveloped him a powerful hug that almost knocked him over. “We missed you so much!”

Sasuke returned Sakura’s embrace weakly, but then she was suddenly pulling away from him to look his full body. “I almost forgot, congratulations!” Sasuke sighed with his eyes closed. “Thank you, Sakura,” he said wearily. It was the last thing he wanted, to be fawned over and given such intense attention. Yamato came up behind Sakura and nodded. “Congratulations. On Kakashi’s behalf, you have been invited to stay in the Hokage mansion. He’s busy with a meeting right now, or else he would have extended the invitation himself.”

Sasuke’s mouth opened and closed a few times in pure surprise. “W-What? For how long, what?” Yamato laughed lightly Sasuke’s confusion. “As long as you want, is what he made it seem. The duration of your pregnancy, for sure. He’s also arranged for Sakura to be in close quarters if she so chooses, so that she may your primary caretaker. So, do you accept?”

“Yeah, yes, I accept.” 

And that’s how Sasuke found himself standing in the doorway of one of the rooms in the most important building in the whole village. Kakashi had clearly been out to impress him, as this _ room _was really a whole floor. There were three rooms to it, not including the restroom, and the kitchen was just beautiful. Sasuke didn’t even want to step inside, he felt like the perfect illusion would wear off. How had his life come to this?

Sasuke found his things in the biggest bedroom, which he guessed was the master. Kakashi had left Sasuke the option to have one of the ninken to keep him company, too, just until Naruto came back. At first Sasuke had wanted to decline, because he thought he’d rather be alone than with anyone who wasn’t Naruto. But, as the night wore on, he grew increasingly more lonely, even after Sakura had come to visit him. 

Sasuke didn’t really know anything about the ninken or their personalities, save for Pakkun, who Sasuke knew was Kakashi and Gai’s actual pet. He was off limits, then. Sasuke tried to remember the appearances of the others, but he kept drawing blanks. Except for Bull. There was no mistaking which one that was.

Sasuke eventually decided that he had the right image of the one called Biscuit in his mind, and so he planned tomorrow to ask Kakashi for that one. In the meantime, Sasuke set about writing to Naruto about his trip, and how amazing this suite was, and how Sakura was in charge of all of his needs, and how he missed him so much. 

He had hung the painting of their combined clan crests above the bed that would eventually be _ their _bed. It was dark, it should have been easy for Sasuke to fall asleep. He’d been so exhausted all day, from the moment he’d woken up he’d been thinking about when he’d next be able to go to sleep. But now, Sasuke felt it impossible to close his eyes for longer than a blink. He rolled over, and he tossed, and he turned, and he pulled the blankets from the corner of the bed (Kakashi was evil for having them be tucked in, in the first place), but none of it helped. 

Sasuke eventually just held one of the pillows against his body, as though he was holding Naruto. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself. He’d been sleeping with Naruto for a month and a half now, _ of course _he wouldn’t be able to just sleep by himself now. The thought of Naruto being so far away hit Sasuke hard again, so hard that he didn’t care anymore how wonderful everything seemed here. He was here, and Naruto wasn’t. 

——————————————————————

When Sasuke woke up, he sent his letter to Naruto, and then went to go see Kakashi, as there hadn’t been much time to discuss the arrangements with Yamato, and he also didn’t know all of the details. Sakura came along with him, for moral support. 

“Welcome back,” Kakashi greeted Sasuke with his covered smile and a small wave. “Thank you, sensei. I missed home.” Sasuke had dragged a blanket into Kakashi’s office with him, and he snuggles into it as he listened to Kakashi’s explanation.

“First of all, congratulations. So, I know that Yamato told you the basics. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to, up to a year after the baby is born. In that time, if you should choose, there can be arrangements made for you and Naruto have a more permanent residence. I hope Yamato told you about the dog, you can have any of them you’d like for the moment, except Pakkun. Can’t part with him.” 

“Yes, he told me about the dog. Um, I think his name was Biscuit? I don’t remember their names to match to their faces, but the one I’m thinking of is Biscuit… I think.” Kakashi weaved a seal so fast Sasuke missed it, and then in a puff of smoke, there sat exactly the dog Sasuke had been thinking about.

“Neh, I was taking a nap,” Biscuit said, before turning his eyes to Sasuke. “The Uchiha kid? What’s he want with me?” Kakashi reached a hand out as if by instinct, and Biscuit pushed his head against it. “He wants to know if you’d keep him company for a while.” Biscuit sniffed the air and then lied down in front of Kakashi. “I suppose. Just until he’s done cooking. I don’t do very well with infants.”

Sasuke’s cheeks flushed pink. He shouldn’t have been surprised, this is a dog. And, he wasn’t surprised; it was more embarrassing than anything else, to be smelled by a dog and found out just that easily. Still, this was one of the ninken, a hard working professional, so Sasuke found it appropriate to thank him. “I appreciate your willingness to keep me company,” he said shakily. Biscuit yawned and sniffed. “No problem.”

Sakura was giggling beside Sasuke until Kakashi called her name. “Sakura, you’re in charge of Sasuke, medically. Anything that goes on with him and the baby is in your hands, besides day to day things. He has expressed a strong desire for you to be the one to deliver the baby, when the time comes.” Sakura’s eyes were soft as she gazed at Sasuke. He returned her look, and nodded to affirm what Kakashi had said. “You’re one of my best friends, Sakura. I can’t think of a single other person I’d trust more with my baby’s life when it breathes its first breaths.”

“Thank you, Sasuke,” Sakura said, her voice just barely above a whisper. Kakashi let them have their moment before cutting in with more of what Sasuke expected to be more rigid instructions. “Seems I’ve told you everything you’ll need to know for now. Sakura, will you take Biscuit with you? I have something to discuss with Sasuke.” Sasuke blinked in mild surprise at Kakashi’s abruptness, but Sakura just went with it. “Sure thing, Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke, you can come by to get Biscuit whenever you’re ready.”

Sasuke watched Sakura lift the sleeping Biscuit and then exit the room quietly. It was just Sasuke then, who had a strong feeling that this was about to be a very serious talk. 

“Kakashi-sensei?” Sasuke pulled his blanket up to cover his legs some more. He had never noticed how cold it was in this room before he’d gone on the mission. “Sasuke… this is very hard to say. Hard to talk about. I don’t even let myself think about it.” Kakashi’s voice was measured, as it had been before when Gai had been there, but Sasuke could tell the ice Kakashi was skating on was a lot thinner. 

“When we were younger, sometime after the Third War, but much before I was your sensei, Gai and I… we wanted to be normal young adults. We wanted to be a family. It was hard enough, because we were keeping our relationship a secret, but we were trying to have a baby.”

Sasuke thought his eyes would fall out of his head. Kakashi, a parent? It was unfathomable, really, that Kakashi would want to devote his life to being someone’s father. Obviously, this hadn’t happened, but Sasuke didn’t press Kakashi to tell the story any faster. 

“We were working so much, but, if our parents had done it, why couldn’t we?” Kakashi’s eyes and mind were somewhere else as he told the story. “So, you know what happens. We try, it doesn’t happen, and we keep trying, and it keeps not happening. Desperate, so desperate. I had the dogs, and they felt like kids, but it wasn’t the same. We just wanted a baby.” 

Sasuke felt his eyes filling with tears; he had a terrible feeling about where this was going. 

“Eventually, we decided we’d just give up, be dog-parents forever. That would be fine. I’d just raise my team, whoever they turned out to be. And then, three years before I met you, we were sitting on the floor in the bathroom at his house, and there was a test on the counter. I was crying, a _ wreck _,” Kakashi’s voice was breaking. Sasuke realized that he’d never seen Kakashi cry. He surely didn’t want to see it now, he’d just end up crying, too.

“We had to be, what, 20? 21? Older than you are now. It was finally, finally happening. A baby. The ecstasy was indescribable. The feeling of eternal elation, like nothing bad could ever happen to you again. You wouldn’t let it, it couldn’t touch you. The feeling can’t be duplicated. A baby. Everyone was so jealous of us, the first of all of us to have kids. Real life kids, not animals, not students.” Kakashi took a shaky breath and started looking at the desk in front of him rather than in Sasuke’s direction.

“And for a few months, it stayed that way. Oh, the looks we got, the whispers, the staring. None of it mattered. _ We _ were going to be a family. _ I _ was pregnant, for the first time, after years. To devote my life to that baby was my only option. Then… then…” Sasuke watched his sensei cry for the first time. Kakashi didn’t bother trying to hide it; he’d made the decision to tell Sasuke this story, so he could show Sasuke the real emotions of it, too. “Then one day I woke up, and something felt _ off _. He, it was a he, he would always wake me up with the moving around and whatnot. I had woken up on my own. And there was a numbness, but also a pain. Numbness in my heart, I guess. I knew that whatever was happening was bad. I didn’t learn until later that I’d been bleeding as badly as I had. Gai was on a mission, a short one, but he was gone. And our baby—”

Sasuke wiped his eyes enough up see Kakashi’s face in his hands. He still wasn’t allowing himself to full on sob; he was pulling himself together even still. Sasuke recognized that he himself could never be this brave. “I tell you this to say, cherish everything you have. You don’t know how long you’ll have it. If you love him, that has to mean something. You’re in charge of that baby’s life, Sasuke. With Naruto or without him.” 

——————————————————————

The first thing Sasuke sensed when he woke up the next morning was the fact that he was cold. Even before he opened his eyes, he knew that something was off. Sasuke felt a tingling up his spine that spread across his limbs as he opened his eyes. 

It was so dark that he at first thought he’d gone blind. He blinked once, and his sharingan told him that he was actually, in fact, surrounded. Sasuke narrowed his eyes into the pitch darkness. He thought it silly to ask who was there, so he waited for whoever had taken him captive to speak their peace. 

“Uchiha Sasuke… you have grown. I heard of your heroism at the end of the Fourth War. Shame it took you so long to fight for the right side.” It was Yume. The lights came on all at once, and that was when Sasuke realized that he was shackled into a chair. He examined his surroundings more carefully. 

There was a single high window, which told Sasuke that he must be underground some place. The ceiling was so high Sasuke could barely see it. It was well lit, despite being a lair, and Sasuke could see that he was in what looked like a home. Around him were 5 or 6 men, all shinobi, all with some strange crest on various parts of their bodies. Like Yume, they all had green eyes. In the corner, way across the expanse of the room, sat the cat, watching Sasuke. 

“Futotta has relayed to me all sorts of details about your life with Uzumaki Naruto. Seems the two of you have a very… intimate relationship.” Sasuke glared menacingly. He didn’t bother trying to free himself, not yet. Yume’s men seemed to be pretty low level shinobi, but he wanted to save his strength. 

“Don’t fucking touch Naruto.” Yume laughed.

“I won’t even have to lure him. I’ve seen it, he’s obsessed with you. He’ll come looking for you, just like he did all those years ago. Or, maybe he won’t. You’ve left him before; isn’t that right, Sasuke?” Sasuke grimaced. 

“I don’t care to hear anything you have to say.”

“There’s no way to stop yourself from listening, so do be quiet.” Yume looked in Sasuke’s direction after fussing with her fingernails. “He’s going to come along, eventually, there’s no way he’d leave you to us. Especially not,” Sasuke winced away from her touch as her hand grazed over his belly, “in your _ condition. _” So the cat had smelled that. 

Sasuke’s mind was confused, even as he was acting tough. “Where is this? When is this?”

“I thought you might ask.” Yume pulled up a chair, seemingly out of thin air, and sat next to Sasuke. “We took you while you were asleep, while he was away. He’s such a genius; he leaves the door unlocked while you sleep.” Yume watched as Sasuke’s mind began to put pieces together. “So… what did I just see? Was any of that real?” Sasuke suspected genjutsu, which was surprising. How had he let himself fall under it? He supposed the baby made his mind just a tad weaker than it usually was.

Yume shook her head, confirming Sasuke’s suspicions. “None of it. I won’t tell you where you are, but you’re far away. Naruto thinks you’ve just up and left. We watched the escort stand around waiting for you for three hours before deciding to return to Konoha. You’re throwing everything out of whack… because you’re selfish, they’ll think. But Naruto will come after you.”

Sasuke knew this was true. Naruto, all that he was, was also a _ fool _, and an even bigger fool for Sasuke, and the biggest fool for their child. It would be impossible to expect Naruto to keep away when it had to do with them. Sasuke would have rolled his eyes at Naruto’s stupidity, but it just made Sasuke love Naruto more.

“We knew asking the Leaf for help would provide information, but this was much more than we could have ever hoped for. Who knew they’d really send the last Uchiha?”

The hair at the back of Sasuke’s neck prickled. So this was about him, specifically. And to think he’d been an _ addition _to this mission. Yume seemed content with Sasuke’s silence that he was listening, so she kept detailing her plot. She’d taken to walking in circles around him.

“When we raided one of Master Orochimaru’s old hideouts, we couldn’t believe what we saw. So many _ eyes _. He seemed particularly interested in the sharingan, even more so than Danzo. I’m telling you, you’ve never seen more eyes.” Sasuke did roll his eyes, this time. “So, we’ve been implanting them. Finding people who look the part,” hence the dark hair Sasuke had noticed, “and giving them the gift of dojutsu. Amazing, isn’t it?”

Sasuke closed his eyes. Master? This was a lot more in-depth than he’d originally assumed. “Even I have them. I’ve always been fond of my green eyes, but I think red suits me so much better.” Sasuke opened his eyes in time to see her removing her glasses and then her contact lenses, which revealed the red eyes underneath. Every person in the room was removing their contacts robotically, and Sasuke watched in horror as he was fixed with red-eyed gazes from all across the room. He had greatly underestimated her forces, and he was beginning to worry about how he’d get out of this.

“What does any of this have to do with me?” Sasuke said finally, trying not to sound as freaked out as he felt. “And, and what about the people going home?”

Yume shrugged. “They were incompatible with the sharingan. Some of them could be saved before they went blind or were killed. Others… well.” Sasuke scowled in Yume’s direction. “Pathetic. What’s your objective?” She couldn’t possibly mean—

“To restore the clan.” Sasuke shook his head.

“Tch. Impossible. You don’t have Uchiha blood, none of you do. Even if you make a village full of people with sharingan, none of them will be Uchiha.” Yume laughed then, _ laughed, _and Sasuke wondered what the people around him would do if he just strangled her or something. “I’m well aware. But you, my dear, do. Even better, the blood of Uzumaki Naruto is in that child. Unimaginable power, at our fingertips.”

Sasuke wanted to spit on her. “There’s no way. I won’t let it happen, Naruto won’t let it happen. He’s going to come after me. He’s going to find me, find us. He staked his life on our baby.”

Yume shook her head and tsk’d. “He can’t come if he doesn’t know where you are. Give up. There’s no way he could find you before we’re finished with you, and that baby.” Yume sighed and laid a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “It’s an exciting time, Sasuke. Congratulations.” 

“Wait, wait.” He had a lot more questions, but he had to play it down and act like he wasn’t interested. “When you put me under the genjutsu, why did you show me… what Kakashi said?”

“I can’t give away all the details of my plans, now, can I?” Sasuke heard the shackles around his ankles and wrists click open. “You can run about if you’d like. You’ll find that since you’re with child, we didn’t want to skimp on the accommodations.”

Then, Yume and the rest disappeared, and the only thing around to keep Sasuke company was the stupid, stupid cat. He glared at it for a long moment, before beginning to feel his way around. He didn’t want to open his eyes at first, in case there was anyone left in there to put him under another genjutsu. Eventually, Sasuke found what felt like a bed. Once he had pulled the covers over his head, he opened his eyes and cursed. 

“I hope you’re not trying to hide from me,” a smooth voice sounded from very close by. “So you can talk, hm? I was always on to you. I even thought you were cute, at first.”

Futotta curled himself up close to where he could probably sense Sasuke’s face was, even underneath the covers. “Cute? I tried my best to be menacing.” 

“You won’t get away with this,” Sasuke said. He hoped he sounded menacing, too. “Naruto is going to come, and when he does—”

“There’s no way for him to find you,” Futotta cut Sasuke off lazily. “And even if he does, how’s he going to get in? We’ll have your eyes and your blood and every part of you that we need before then. And then, with that child, there will be nothing that can stop us.” 

“From what?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Yume quite liked the idea of Infinite Tsukuyomi.” The cat spoke nonchalantly. Sasuke wanted to punch him. Instead, he remained silent, and tried to figure out ways that he could signal to Naruto that he was here. There was obviously no way out, not an obvious one, besides that window. He couldn’t write a letter, he couldn’t send a summon, all of those things were too obvious. All Sasuke could do was hope that Naruto still felt the connection to Sasuke’s chakra that Sasuke felt to Naruto’s. He had to. There was no other foreseeable way to get out of this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of, sorry for the delay! i’m not really that great at writing action scenes haha, much better at character analysis and inner monologues, stuff like that. i think this turned out alright; at least i hope it did. we get some Naruto pov in this one, that was my surprise :) please, tell me what you thought of this one!

There was absolutely no way Sasuke had done this again. Not with what was at stake between them?

Naruto’s head hurt every night, going to sleep alone, trying to figure out where Sasuke was, when he’d be back, if he needed help. Mostly, Naruto’s heart ached. It felt like he’d never even gotten Sasuke back in the first place. The pain was only deepened by the fact that Sasuke was pregnant, had their baby inside him, and Naruto didn’t know where. Every day, Naruto woke up in the afternoon and stayed out all night, looking for Sasuke. Every day, Naruto came closer to officially abandoning this mission in favor of looking for Sasuke. But he wasn’t a child anymore, and this wasn’t 4 years ago when people would have let him do that. It was Sasuke’s choice, whatever this was.

So, for months, Naruto let it be Sasuke’s choice. 

Sasuke had wanted to leave, clearly. He hadn’t left a note, hadn’t told Naruto where he was going; he hadn’t even waited until Naruto got back so that they could discuss it. Of course, Naruto’s heart was broken. Of course, he was a wreck. But of course, he was going to let Sasuke do whatever he wanted to. He hadn’t ever been able to stop Sasuke.

But eventually, that kind of thinking got old. 

Naruto eventually gave up thinking that he knew everything. He missed Sasuke more than anything; the only thing he missed more was being able to put his hand where he knew their baby lived and grew. One week turned into two, and that turned into three months. All the while, Naruto didn’t hear anything about Sasuke from anywhere, from anyone. Kakashi mentioned that he’d sent the escort months ago, and they had returned without Sasuke. He was running out of hope, and he was beginning to think the worst. And the worst part of all of this was that he felt like Sasuke’s chakra was nearby… but he chalked that up to the lingering traces of Sasuke everywhere. It only got colder, it only got more lonely. Naruto hadn’t felt this alone in a long, long time.

Since Sasuke had left, all Naruto did was miss him. He could barely eat, and he never slept. Whenever he came back from another fruitless night of searching, he would take a long gaze at the painting Sasuke had left, of their clans’ symbols put together, and it would nearly bring him to tears. Then, he’d remember the little things about Sasuke, the ways that he moved around, the things he said, how Naruto loved to talk to him just to hear him speak. He would think about holding Sasuke, kissing Sasuke, doing things to Sasuke that he hadn’t ever let anyone else do. And then, he’d start blaming himself.

It had to be his fault, right? Sasuke had clearly not believed that all of his efforts were real, that it was an attempt to get to know everything about him, and to make sure Sasuke knew Naruto cared about him more than life itself. He’d had enough of… uncertainty, Naruto guessed. He hadn’t made any indication that when they got back to the village, they’d really be together, besides the extent that the baby would tie them together. This was just a fantasy right now, made a bit more real because of the baby, but that didn’t mean that they had worked everything out. There would be a lot to work through, once they were finally reunited.

Naruto knew that by now, Sasuke would be finally showing, as small as he was. It was evident now to the world how deep their love was for one another. And Naruto wasn’t there to witness it. It drove him crazy, to think that Sasuke would just leave, not say anything, and not try to reach out. It almost made Naruto feel like Sasuke hadn’t left, someone had to have changed his mind about their situation.

Or, the unthinkable, the impossible: someone had taken Sasuke against his will. It was impossible. Sasuke was so alert, he could sense enemy chakra for miles. Well, he had been able to before. Sasuke had never been pregnant before, so neither of them knew how it was affecting his perception and his senses. And it wasn’t impossible. He wasn’t exactly being the most secure when he left Sasuke here at night, asleep and defenseless.

Naruto slammed his fist hard against the table, rattling Sasuke’s paint pots. It was another night of him feeling like he’d never get Sasuke back, like he’d never see him again, or their baby, and their baby would never know who he was. He had been staring at the wall for ten minutes, tears forming fast the more his mind raced. He closed his eyes tight and his fist tighter. His heart was in pieces, his mind was in shambles. Naruto could blame himself for making Sasuke want to leave later, if that was really the case. They’d deal with that.

Right now, in that very moment, he was going to honor his claim to Sasuke that he would risk his life for the two of them, for their family.

——————————————————————

Because Naruto had waited so long, there wasn’t very much of a trail to work with. He didn’t know how long ago Sasuke had tread this ground; all he knew was that if there was a trail, he would follow it. 

Naruto had decided to send some scouting toads ahead of him, just in case they could see or hear things he couldn’t. He had been traveling farther and farther from the city center for hours now, but still no signs of Sasuke, or whoever had him in their possession. The thought of Sasuke being captive made Naruto’s blood feel hot. He remembered vaguely, months ago, that Kakashi had told them both to be careful and diligent, and Naruto was leaving the door unlocked at night for fucking convenience. 

All of a sudden, Naruto started seeing red spots in the snow. At first few and far between, they got closer and closer together the farther he followed them. Eventually, Naruto came to a stop. There was one of his scout toads, lying in his own blood in the snow, wriggling feebly. “What happened to you?” Naruto’s face screwed up with concern.

A cough, some spluttering. “They’re get—” Some more choking. Naruto lifted the small toad into his palms and brought his hands closer to his face. “What, what? What happened?”

“C-cat,” was all the little toad could muster before he fell limp in Naruto’s hands. Naruto looked up and narrowed his eyes at the distance ahead of him. He sat silently for a moment, and then laid the toad carefully on a bunch of leaves over the snow. 

Naruto continued to follow the trail the cat was leaving, until he began to overtake him. Naruto could sense strong chakra emitting from the cat; he was a summon. In the far distance, as far as Naruto’s eyes could see with the flurry of snow flying around him, there seemed to be a light of some sorts. He sat in the trees, watching the cat pick its way across the forest floor in the direction of the light. It was surprisingly fast for being so fat. He watched it step on one of his toads with a wince, and then leave it there to bleed out.

This was too easy. There’s no way this could be this easy. Naruto felt the hair on the back of his neck standing up, like he was being watched. There was no doubt that he was getting closer, but there was also no way that they’d leave their hideout in the open with no one around to protect it. Naruto recalled Sasuke’s words about the night he’d seen Yume moving around the city; everyone but her seemed to be moving robotically, against their own will. There would probably be some barrier that would activate whatever jutsu that was controlling their minds, and so Naruto would have to have a plan before he decided to cross it. 

For now, his only option was to retreat. 

——————————————————————

Naruto scoped the scene for weeks, making sure he knew every detail of the comings and goings. He hadn’t been back to the inn since then; he couldn’t imagine resting for one second when he finally had a clue of where Sasuke was.

The light he’d seen in the ground had turned out to be a window, as he’d observed. At night, it cast a long light across the snow, but he could only see it because he was looking for it. Based on the way Yume traveled, it seemed that the building was actually built into a hill or a cliff, with the front off in the direction Naruto couldn’t see. Naruto had somewhat sensed how close he could get before being found out. He could feel Sasuke near him, so close and yet so far away. 

Naruto had given himself two weeks to figure out his course of action. He was running out of time, he didn’t know what they were planning, and Sasuke’s pregnancy would only last so long. He grit his teeth at the reminder that he’d let himself miss half of it, already.

Everyday, Yume would leave before the sun came up, probably so that by the time people needed and sent for her, she’d be there in time without having to do too much settling. Naruto never saw Sasuke, but always felt him near. The cat would leave with Yume sometimes, and others Naruto wouldn’t see it. On one of the mornings when she took the cat with her, Naruto sent a toad to see if his inference about the entrance to the hideout was true. 

“It was just as you suspected,” the toad told Naruto as he sat crossed-legged in the highest branches of a tree at the edge of the place where his chakra would be sensed. “There’s one door fit right into the foot of a really sheer cliff. I counted 3 windows, including the one on this side. There’s two people outside right now, but I wasn’t able to sense out how many are inside.” Naruto nodded, thanked the toad and sent him on his way. 

He’d wasted enough time. Now was the time for action.

——————————————————————

Sasuke wished every day when he woke up that he hadn’t. He had expected Naruto to come after him the next day. Three months? Three? Sasuke almost wished Naruto wouldn’t come. But that was craziness, that was just Sasuke being petty. He needed Naruto, he missed him so deeply that every day he felt like a piece of him was drifting away. 

The only solace in Sasuke’s loneliness was the baby. Despite Yume’s apparent evil, she was taking good care of him and the baby. He supposed that was a part of her evil, so that when he gave birth the baby would be healthy enough for her to use him and whatever power he may possess (Sasuke had assumed the baby was a he).

The first time he felt the baby move within him, he had been all alone. Not even Futotta had been in there to bother him. He had been walking towards the kitchen, dragging a blanket behind himself, when he felt it. Just a light tap, so barely-there that Sasuke had thought he’d imagined it. He flopped down on the sofa and lifted his shirt, and ran his fingertips along where he thought the sensation had come from. Seconds later, another tap, and though he couldn’t quite see it yet, he knew what it was. Sasuke had never felt more special, more important.

He had cried, at first because of the situation, and then because of the circumstance. This was beautiful, amazing, the first time he’d ever felt his child move inside him, and Naruto was nowhere. Sasuke missed everything about Naruto, every feeling Naruto gave him. He felt insane, to think that he could feel so strongly about someone to begin with. Feelings was the reason why he was here.

Would Naruto ever come for him? He’d first felt the baby kick almost a month before. He was just nearly five months along now. It had been so long; they’d been apart for much longer than this before, but that was before they’d said all they’d said, before the war had changed the world, before Sasuke realized how short life was, before they’d laid down and created a new life. Sasuke was beginning to lose hope that he’d ever get to see Naruto again. And at first, that had been a devastating thought. 

Now, Sasuke was living under two assumptions: he would never get out of here, and Naruto was never going to come. He had never needed anyone in his life before, and no matter what his heart was telling him, he didn’t _need_ Naruto either.

Except, he did. He needed Naruto with every fiber of his being. Every time he felt the baby move, he needed Naruto to be there. Every time he looked at his own growing belly, he needed Naruto to be there. It was exhausting, needing Naruto so much. But everything in him was telling him to hold out hope.

Sasuke slept at all hours of the day, through the night or through the day. He kept himself awake worrying about the baby and Naruto for hours at a time, and then he’d be sad and make himself sleep to stop thinking about it. He was allowed outside, of course, but he didn’t want to go outside. It was cold, and it made him sad, and the only thing he could see for miles was trees, trees, trees. He didn’t know where he was, which only added to the disheartening feeling. How far away was Naruto right now? Sasuke had no way of being able to tell besides the tiniest flickering of Naruto’s chakra that surrounded him, which he assumed came from the baby. 

Sasuke was woken up to the sound of a lot of crashing. His heart beat fast as he sat up and wrapped himself in the covers. It was coming from all around him, and when he put his feet on the floor, he could feel shaking. Something in his mind told him that there was a whole lot of fighting going on, but from above him or below him he couldn’t tell. Sasuke also felt, strangely, but so powerfully, that a lot of the chakra being released was Naruto’s, but that had to be an illusion, or a dream, or the baby. Couldn’t be real.

Sasuke was curled up on the sofa when Futotta came barreling into the room from the high-up window, landing on his feet on the kitchen table and then jumping onto the floor in three fluid movements. “What’re you doing here?” Futotta ignored Sasuke and instead slammed down one of his paws on the floor. 

Sasuke’s eyes grew wide when, out of a puff of smoke, appeared Yume. She was wearing her green contacts. She herself seemed confused, until she felt a tremor run through the floor. “Is it him?” She didn’t seem to need to elaborate about who “he” was.

“Yes, shishō. Naruto has found this place; he’s already starting to wreak havoc. I reverse summoned you as quickly as I could.” 

Sasuke thought he might die. Naruto was _here_. Here for him, and their family. 

“What’s he done so far?” Yume was pacing around the kitchen, and they were both acting as though Sasuke wasn’t there. “Seems he’s been using wind style and the help of his summons to blow things up, coming closer and closer to this point. He’s looking for the Uchiha, of course.” Their eyes turned to Sasuke. It took everything in him to not shrink down into the sofa. He sat up as straight as he could, as straight as his back would allow him without protesting. Naruto would find him, he had to, their chakra was linked together, now in more ways than one.

“What do you think? He’s already being so reckless, there’s no real need to lure him out,” Futotta said. Yume shrugged and threw her hands up. “I don’t know what other choice we have. I can’t beat him, but I have to be close to the rest of them for the jutsu to work.” Again, they looked at Sasuke, and Yume gave a smirk. 

“Get up, Uchiha. We’re going on a trip.”

——————————————————————

Naruto just needed to dig this hole open wide enough, deep enough, so that he could find Sasuke. He didn’t care about what sort of trouble or devastation he caused along the way; as long as Sasuke and the baby came to him in one piece, that was all that mattered. He just had to hold off their forces until his reinforcements came.

Naruto had created a clone to do most of the fighting, and summoned both Gamakichi and Gamatatsu to help him bust the hideout (much to the dismay of Gamatatsu, because there were no snacks). All around him lay rubble in puddles of water and oil, and small flames smoldered out as he walked past them. No sign of Sasuke, but his chakra was so strong, so close. 

Naruto watched as his clone surveyed the area ahead of him, gaze drifting all across the room. He was looking for some kind of door, any way to get farther in. He didn’t want to start blowing more walls off, in case Sasuke was behind one. “Damn it,” he mumbled, feeling stumped now that he’d gotten this far. 

All of a sudden, Naruto’s clone squinted into the darkness and called out Sasuke’s name. The original Naruto sat behind a rock and watched in confusion. He heard the clone talking to someone, but there was no one there. He was even pleading, and sounded like he was arguing. 

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose as watched himself yell at the thin air. “I didn’t know where you’d gone, why you’d gone, if you were coming back!” He was throwing his hands in the air, but it seemed that whoever he was talking to had calmed him down. It was almost like he was talking to… to Sasuke, but Sasuke was still nowhere to be found. 

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Naruto saw a flicker of moment behind his clone; a kunai being thrown. He weaved the seal in an instant and whispered, “Release!” just as the kunai would have hit his clone in the back. 

Fucking genjutsu. Naruto was still completely confused as to what was going on, which was not good, but when his clone came back to him, he was struck with what he’d seen:

Naruto could hear the voice, but all he could see was darkness. “Naruto!” Sasuke’s voice. Naruto looked from left to right in a frenzy, and then a hand touched his shoulder. Naruto spun around, and there stood Sasuke, drawing himself back. Naruto felt like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. There was Sasuke, looking so small and so cute, and pregnant, very pregnant. He could see a sliver of Sasuke’s skin poking out underneath the hem of his shirt, and it made Naruto’s heart beat crazy. 

“You—” 

Sasuke flashed Naruto a small smile. “I’m so glad you’ve come for me,” Sasuke said softly, so sweetly. “I never gave up hope, that you’d come for me,” Sasuke’s hands framed his belly, the small smile never leaving his face, “that you’d come for us.”

Naruto was hanging off of every word Sasuke said. But something about this Sasuke was not right. He had nearly the same chakra, he looked the same. But his Sasuke would never say these words to him, and never this sweetly. He knew Sasuke. Sasuke would probably have given up on Naruto at least one hundred times by now, and he’d be yelling. Or crying. Definitely not smiling. 

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke, who gave the smallest wince at his harsh gaze. “What’s the matter? Didn’t you miss me?” No, there was no way.

“How can you speak like that?” Again, Sasuke looked taken aback. “What do you mean?” Naruto shook his head, rolled his eyes, couldn’t stand this. “You’re saying all this like it hasn’t been months, as if you really never gave up on me; I know you did, at least five times. And what, what am I supposed to think, how am I supposed to feel right now? I didn’t know where you’d gone, why you’d gone, if you were coming back! How do I just—”

The slightest of touches on his wrist. Naruto’s heart almost stopped beating. “You have me now,” he heard, and in that instant the memory stopped. 

Naruto didn’t even know who or what he’d looked at that had trapped him in the genjutsu to begin with. All he knew was that he was dealing with people who had clearly known how reckless he’d be trying to get in here. 

“Ahh, Naruto. So nice of you to finally show up.”

“Yume?”

Naruto’s head tilted up to see two figures on a ledge above him that he hadn’t noticed before. One was Yume, but instead of green eyes he was met with red. Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed, but then his expression grew blank when saw Sasuke cowering next to her. 

Naruto didn’t know what was real now. It could be too good to be true, again. But he was seeing Sasuke again, just the way his clone had seen him, looking so fragile, and the little piece of skin still showing underneath his shirt. Naruto shook his head an inch.

“I suspected you’d come, eventually. It has been a while, however. We were beginning to give up on you, Uchiha and I.” Naruto grimaced, but didn’t say anything.

“Isn’t he darling? He’s been waiting so long for you to come and see him.” Naruto’s eyes cut to Sasuke, who still wouldn’t look at him. One of Yume’s hands was resting on Sasuke’s belly. It made Naruto furious. 

“I’ve already detailed my intentions to him, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell you the fate of your child.” Naruto’s hand tightened into a fist, and he gritted his teeth. He didn’t want to hear this shit, but the longer he could stall her, the better. “Master Orochimaru was particularly fond of the sharingan, more so than nearly everything else. He collected so many eyes over the years, long before sweet Itachi purged the whole clan. Master collected the sharingan from so many, and now I have repurposed them.” 

So that’s how Naruto’s clone had been put under the genjutsu. Of course. He hadn’t even seen himself look at the sharingan. “But, just because someone possesses sharingan, does not mean that they are a true Uchiha, as Sasuke pointed out.” Sasuke finally looked up then. His expression made it seem like he was looking straight through Naruto, like he hadn’t even seen him. 

“So,” Yume rubbed a circle over Sasuke’s belly, “we decided that since we have two _real_ Uchiha here, why not use that to our advantage. Full of blood, and not to mention the fact that Sasuke was once affected by one of Master’s curse marks, and Sasuke’s eyes… just imagine. And, we realized, the child will also have _your_ blood. The most powerful baby in the Great Nations and beyond. And all of that power, right at our fingertips.”

“You know that I’m not going to let that happen. I will die before you do that, anything to Sasuke or… or—” Naruto couldn’t bring himself to even mention the baby. There was no way he’d let her touch him (Naruto had also assumed the baby was a he).

“You won’t have a choice,” Yume said, so saccharine. Naruto wanted to punch her. “Why even do this? Orochimaru isn’t into this kind of stuff anymore.” Yume shrugged. “I pledged my life to finish his work,” she said simply. “Now, enough talking. If I were you, I’d close my eyes. But then, you’d never see them coming! What a predicament.”

“Close my—”

Just then, Naruto began to hear kunai coming all from behind him, some with paper bombs attached. Kakashi’s reinforcements. Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Yume’s face fall. 

The kunai had been the work of Tenten, of course. “Are we late?” Sakura’s voice sounded behind him, and when Naruto turned, he saw Lee and Sai, too. “Right on time.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke had never felt so helpless in his life. He was out there on that rock, in just shorts and a t-shirt, feeling so small and so useless. Hearing Yume say her plan again did nothing but infuriate him, but he felt so numb that even laying his eyes upon Naruto’s face couldn’t make him happy. Naruto had no idea what he was up against. This was not something he could do on his own. Some of these people had mangekyō sharingan; very advanced dojutsu at their disposal. He had no hope that Naruto would win.

Then, he saw Sakura, and Sai and Lee and Tenten. Yume’s grip on his shoulder tightened, but then Tenten’s paper bombs went off, and Yume was distracted. As though in slow motion, Sasuke watched Sakura punch a huge hole into the middle of the ground, taking out one of Yume’s goons; Lee engaged three more to Sasuke’s right; Tenten was opening another scroll; and Sai was, too, and his paintbrush was flying across the blank surface. 

And then, Sasuke saw Naruto coming at Yume, with a clone close behind him. The clone was coming for Sasuke, and Sasuke felt himself being wrenched from where he stood half a second before the original Naruto hit Yume with the rasengan. 

All of Sasuke’s breath was knocked out when he and the clone hit the ground, and his hands instinctively wrapped around his belly. The baby moved within him after a moment that felt like forever. Sasuke closed his eyes and sighed.

Sasuke surveyed everything around him. Sakura had demolished half of the entire place just from her fists; the other half had been blown open by Tenten’s bombs. Lee and Sai has started working together. Naruto had overpowered Yume, and was working on restraining her. 

Sasuke heard his name being called from what had to have been the entrance of the hideout. It was Shikamaru. He was multitasking; half of his attention was on possessing the shadows of Yume’s mutants, and the other half was focused on telling Sasuke what to do. “They can’t get to you right now. Come to me. Just don’t look at them.”

With the enemy immobilized, the rest of the reinforcements made quick work of them. Sasuke picked his way across the cave floor slowly, shivering, feeling weaker with each step. He all but fell on top of Shikamaru when he reached him, which distracted Shikamaru from his shadow control. “Woah, woah. It’s going to be ok. When’s the last time you ate?”

Sasuke shrugged, he didn’t know. He felt like he was going to pass out. He just wanted a blanket, and Naruto. “Let’s get you out of here.”

Sasuke shook his head. “Wait, wait, Naruto—” 

“Naruto will be along,” Shikamaru promised. Sasuke felt content enough with this answer, so he closed his eyes. His mind felt warm, despite the strong chill creeping over his body. He would finally, finally get to go home again. And whatever problem he had going with Naruto right now could be forgotten. He was safe. 

He was going home.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooooo this will mostly be falling action from here, just baby stuff and emotions, honestly lol i’m still having a lot of fun writing this though, i hope you guys are enjoying it still!

Life back in Konoha was just about the same.

Sasuke woke up alone in his own bed, in his own house, wearing his own clothes. Sometimes, though, he woke up wearing clothes Naruto had bought him while they were away, or with paint still staining his fingertips from the night before, or with Biscuit in his bed by his feet.

(He’d brought the idea of the ninken up to Kakashi when he’d returned, and Kakashi thought it was fair enough).

For a few days, Sasuke had thought he was still under the genjutsu. He’d wake up as though from a nightmare, in a sweat. If Biscuit was there, he’d come up the bed and slot himself next to Sasuke’s belly, so that his furry back was against Sasuke’s skin. It made Sasuke smile, and calm down enough to sleep again. If Biscuit wasn’t there, Sasuke would get out of bed, drink two glasses of water, and then force himself back to sleep. 

Sasuke saw Naruto every other day, most of the time, but not by his own choice; Naruto always sought him out. Sometimes, Naruto spent the night. The fact that they still hadn’t really taken the time to talk about what they were doing, after all of this time, was pissing Sasuke off. They’d gone from being nearly inseparable, to completely separated, to acting like none of it had ever happened. 

Sasuke felt just fine to not talk about it, if Naruto really wanted to be that way. So what, Naruto had committed his life to Sasuke and their child? That wasn’t enough for Naruto to want to move their relationship forward. After all that they’d gone through, as far as Sasuke was concerned, they were still just friends. 

And Sasuke told Naruto as much one day, sitting across from him at Naruto’s kitchen table. He had been talking to Sakura lately, and she’d told him that the only way to know what Naruto was feeling was to pose the question, of course. He couldn’t just assume and then act on his assumptions. He might make things worse.

“Just friends?” 

Sasuke nodded, took a sip of his tea. “That’s what I said.” By the look on Naruto’s face, he didn’t seem to very much like that answer. 

“How can you say that, honestly?” Naruto sounded so incredulous. He set down his chopsticks next to his cup of ramen.

Sasuke shrugged. “We’ve been back here for two weeks. Of course, I want you to be interested in the baby and the progress and all of that, but ever since the first night, it feels like we’ve just gone back to the way we were before. Before the baby.”

(The first night they’d set foot in Konoha, Sasuke had wanted nothing but to be in Naruto’s presence. It was night time, and he was exhausted. All he wanted, with every fiber of his being, was to be enveloped in everything that was Naruto.

Naruto was hours behind them, so by the time he got there, Sasuke was already asleep. He was startled awake by the sound of a knock on the door. “Go away,” he mumbled, pulling one of his pillows closer to his chest.

“Not until you open the door.”

Sasuke was up in an instant, almost tripping over himself to get to the door, and to throw it open, and to see Naruto. His eyes were so full of tears that he could barely see Naruto at first, until Naruto’s hands came up to hold his face and to wipe it all away. 

Naruto didn’t seem to know what he wanted to do first. He was looking at Sasuke’s face, and touching his belly, and saying such sweet things in a low voice. 

“Let me… can I see?” Sasuke took Naruto’s hands and curled Naruto’s fingers underneath the hem of his shirt, inviting him to lift it. Naruto obliged. Sasuke shivered at the feeling of Naruto’s fingernails scratching across his skin, and at the feeling of his belly being exposed to the air. 

“So special,” Naruto said, “so special and perfect.” Sasuke let Naruto do whatever he wanted, touch on him however he wanted. All Naruto really seemed to  _ want  _ to do was caress him, and hold him, and poke his belly so that the baby would kick at him. Sasuke let Naruto have his moment, because he knew that the first time Naruto saw Sasuke’s belly hadn’t been as special as it should have been.

“I’ve never felt more strongly about something, about some _ one,  _ as I feel about you,” Naruto said. Sasuke felt his face getting hot. “Stop it,” he said, pushing vainly at Naruto’s chest. He was so  _ close _ , so close that they breathing each other’s air. Sasuke saw himself in Naruto’s eyes. Sasuke reaches a hand up to frame Naruto’s jaw, feeling his skin underneath his own fingertips being one of his favorite sensations.

“I mean it,” Naruto said, never taking his eyes from Sasuke’s. “I never even imagined I’d feel this way, that I’d have so many feelings about someone. But… if not you, then who else? It’s always been this way. I just never saw it.” Sasuke drew his lip between his teeth. 

“You’re just… you’re just saying that, because of the baby.” Sasuke was still not convinced that Naruto wanted him, and that he wasn’t just telling himself to be this way because of the baby. 

“I am not just saying it.” Naruto’s voice got a little harsh. “I told you before, I meant it then and I mean it now. I want you, forever, and I’ll do whatever I have to in order to keep you with me. Keep you happy.”

And then they’d fallen asleep, wrapped up in one another. Naruto was there when Sasuke woke up. Sasuke had been half expecting Naruto to have taken off, like he had all those months ago, but Naruto had promised him,  _ promised, _ that he would be better than that.)

“And what do you mean by that, ‘before the baby?’” Sasuke placed his cup gingerly onto the table. “You’re saying that you care about me, but I don’t see it.” 

Naruto scoffed. “We’re more than just friends,” Naruto said, still in disbelief. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “What would you call this, then?”

“We’re… we’re soulmates, Sasuke. We’re meant to be together. Baby or not. I know that now.”

“Now?  _ Now _ ?” Sasuke shook his head. This was exactly why he didn’t want to talk to Naruto about this. Naruto never knew what he himself was even talking about half the time, and it was frustrating to have to figure it all out with him. 

“Now that we’re here, and you’re safe, and I’ve had time to think about it.” Sasuke saw the gears turning in Naruto’s head. “When you were gone all those months, I realized that what I’d been saying wasn’t just words. I felt like I was dying, slowly, every day. Everything that is me, is you. I was barely sleeping, barely eating, just worrying about getting you back. And then I thought, what’ll we do once he’s finally safe? At first, it was all about the baby in my head.”

Sasuke tapped his nails against the table as Naruto spoke. Always talk, always an excuse, never an answer. “But like I said, we’re soulmates. I felt like my life was just… drifting. I didn’t care about anything but making sure I got you back here safely. I didn’t care what I’d have to do. I wanted to abandon the mission. I had accepted death. The moment I went out for you, I knew that I might just die, trying to find you. I didn’t care. I’d rather die and know that you’re going to be ok than… any other alternative.”

Sasuke stopped his tapping. “Die? You—what?” It took Sasuke a few seconds to process it. Yes, Naruto had been saying that he’d risk his life for the sake of their family. And, even though it took him way too long, he had eventually come. He had risked his life. But, he had taken too long. 

“Why didn’t you come right away? I thought you’d be there after me the next day, or within the week, or something.”

Naruto sighed. Sasuke could tell that he had been hoping he wouldn’t ask this. “I thought that you’d left again, because of the uncertainty you felt about our situation. I didn’t think you’d abandoned the mission, not fully; you were just going to do it on your own end. I thought that you’d… that you’d purposely gone off, again.”

So there it was: Naruto had, for however brief a moment, given up faith in him. Sasuke resumed his tapping then. He wasn’t impatient, just exasperated. He knew that it wasn’t really fair; he’d given up on Naruto, too. They just didn’t trust one another, still. No matter how much either of them pleaded, the other just had too many reasons  _ not  _ to believe. It hurt Sasuke’s heart. 

Right now, though, it was just annoying. 

“Well, don’t apologize. I’m glad I know how you felt, now. Opens up a lot.” Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sasuke, don’t have an attitude—”

“I don’t have an attitude. I asked the question, so it’s only right that you tell me the answer.” Sasuke pushed his chair back and struggled out of it. Things were getting a lot harder to do, lately, but Sasuke would not be asking Naruto for help with anything right now.

“Wait, wait, before you go.” Sasuke felt Naruto’s fingers curl around his wrist, and it stopped him in his tracks. “I have something to show you, tomorrow. Tomorrow, come here when the sun goes down.” Sasuke looked Naruto up and down for a moment before pulling himself free of Naruto’s loose grip. “Fine, then.”

“Can I come over later?”

“How ‘late’ is later?”

“At night?” Sasuke knew what Naruto was after.

“Think it’ll just be me and Biscuit tonight.”

Saying no to Naruto was getting easier every time Sasuke had to say it. Of course, he wanted to, but it would be like taking five steps back from what he was trying to achieve.

“Kiss him for me,” Naruto called as Sasuke laughed lightly and stepped outside and into the midday.

There were a lot of things Sasuke still hadn’t told Naruto, since they’d gotten back home. He had been to the hospital twice; once, the day after he’d gotten back and had gotten some rest. His vitals and everything else had been tested. The baby was fine, and Sasuke would get better eventually as long as he kept eating and sleeping like he should. 

The second time, Sasuke had gone on his own. He had asked for Sakura, but she was very busy being the head of the hospital, so he had to settle for one of her direct subordinates. At least, they would have the same touches, and maybe the same attention to detail. 

He had learned that the baby was actually a little smaller than they’d really like at this point, but had declined to learn the gender. That just… that was too much sneaking. He’d have Naruto along for that one.

As Sasuke walked home, he gave some more thought to how Naruto really felt about him, based on the way he acted. When they were together, it felt the way it always had. They were just two halves of one being, and they fit together, and their minds were the same, and they were perfect and made for each other, and all of that. They would always find a way to be touching one another, and Naruto would tell Sasuke his deepest fears, and Sasuke would tell Naruto his deepest insecurities. Sasuke had been under the impression that they had finally developed a proper bond, with the right amount of trust, between them.

But now Sasuke knew that, in fact, the trust was not there. Naruto had given up on Sasuke; Sasuke had given up on Naruto. They had both lost faith in one another, and had acted like they didn’t care just for the sake of their own feelings. It wasn’t right. Naruto chalking his disappearance up to a personal decision was annoying, and Sasuke telling himself that Naruto would never come for him was stupid. Since they’d been back home, the perfect illusion, the fantasy that they’d been living in before, was broken. It would be fine, if it were just the two of them. They’d just be broken up, or whatever. But it wasn’t just them, they were three and a half months away from having a baby, and that wasn’t a lot of time. 

It didn’t help that neither of them were trying to make real steps to bring their family unit closer together. Sasuke could blame Naruto for not trying all he wanted, but he knew that he himself wasn't trying either. Sasuke was so busy looking for reasons to be mad at Naruto that he let it take over his mind, when he should have been trying to somehow, some way, take their relationship to the next level. They could talk all they wanted. None of it mattered when nothing was done. 

Sasuke felt a welcome feeling, like relief, when he finally got home. He had been working on a painting for two days now, and had been just about to finish blending all of his colors when Naruto had called him. It was a painting of Biscuit, as one morning Sasuke had seen him curled so sweetly at his feet that he couldn’t resist. 

Sasuke would put Naruto out of his mind, for now, and deal with him later. Even as he resolved to do this, Sasuke knew he couldn’t keep putting Naruto off forever. Either they would be together or they wouldn’t, but they had to talk about it. 

——————————————————————

Sasuke met Naruto, just as he’d asked, at his house at sunset. Naruto was excited, and the look in his eyes had Sasuke a little worried. He crossed his arms over his chest as Naruto took the lead. 

“Where are we going? It’s hot out here,” Sasuke complained. He was not interested in anything that had to be outside. There was nothing he could think of that was worth this heat. 

“Neh, stop complaining, you’re going to love it.” Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Not if it’s outside.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about, just, trust me. This is going to change your mind.”

“About what?”

“It’s a surprise!”

Sasuke dragged his feet as they walked through the village. He would never get used to the staring. Sasuke knew that no one’s attention was on Naruto when they were together. He did his best to cover up his belly, but it was too hot to wear big clothes. He didn’t even bother telling people to stop, because he knew it would be to no end. They’d just look when he turned around. 

The further they walked, the more annoyed Sasuke got. Naruto, on the other hand, was getting more and more excited. “We’re almost there,” he kept saying. He would run ahead, and then come back to Sasuke and match his pace, and then run ahead again. 

“See, ok, we’re almost there,” Naruto said again, slightly out of breath. Sasuke groaned. “You’ve been saying that for an hour,” he whined. He was beginning to develop cramps. Sasuke had never wanted to lay down more in his life. They were well past the gates of the village, almost to the point where Sasuke couldn’t see them anymore. 

“Well, we would have gotten here faster if you weren’t taking one step per minute,” Naruto quipped. Sasuke shrugged, said it was much too hot to go any faster, and picked up his pace. He liked walking in the forest, despite his complaining. Being under the trees always made him feel like he was one with nature, and breathing clean air, all of those cliché things.

Finally, finally, when they were just at the edge of calling distance from the village, the trees gave way to a large expanse of just  _ grass.  _ Except, it wasn’t just grass. There was a house in the middle of it. There were the genera construction things lying about, piles of bricks and window panes and wood, but it seemed to be pretty much finished. 

Naruto’s eyes were on Sasuke, to gauge his reaction. Sasuke walked a few steps forward, to see around the sides of the house. The outside siding was a pleasant blue, while the roof shingles were a dark brown. An optimal amount of windows, two stories, and there were already some lights on, on the second floor. In the back was a deck of sorts, with the same color wood as the shingles of the roof.

“Naruto… what’s all this?” Sasuke came back to stand next to Naruto, holding his belly, with a confused look on his face. Naruto’s eyes were so warm, and he wrapped an arm around Sasuke’s shoulders when he came close enough. “Naruto?”

“This is, well it will be… our home.”  _ Our.  _ Sasuke gave a sharp gasp and pulled away from Naruto’s hold so that he could look at his eyes. “Well, what do you think? I’d let you go in right now, but they’re painting. Can’t have you around that.”

Sasuke was crying. Big baby tears, ugly crying. He pushed himself back into Naruto’s arms, and Naruto wrapped him up so tight that at first he couldn’t breathe, but that was fine. He couldn’t breathe, anyways. Naruto had taken his breath away. There was no, no way. Their home. To share.

“To live in… together, together, you and me and him, together?” Sasuke felt Naruto’s hand on his belly, and the baby was kicking at him, and Sasuke was still crying. “Yes, Sasuke. Together. Like, like a family.”

So this is what Naruto has been doing. Sasuke couldn’t really act like he’d noticed Naruto moving around weirdly, he hadn’t. He tried to avoid Naruto, most of the time, because they still hadn’t talked about their relationship, until yesterday. Naruto  _ was  _ trying. He was trying in a way Sasuke couldn’t have even imagined. Sure, the Land of Iron had been a fantasy that had turned into a nightmare, but now Sasuke knew that Naruto was trying to put them back in that place they’d been in before, when there was no disputing how in love they were. When there was nothing that could come between them, or how they felt about each other.

“They should be done with the inside in a week. Then I can take you in, show you all the stuff. Sakura did most of the decorating. I don’t know colors, apparently.” Naruto shrugged. He looked back at Sasuke from where he’d been gazing at the house. “So, um… do you like it?”

“Do I—” Sasuke sniffled hard, to catch his breath. “I love it.”

Sasuke promised himself he’d never live based on assumptions again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay babies!!!! i just didn’t know where to end this; that’s why it’s 5k words lmaoo i hope you guys enjoy! it’s kind of filler/time waster, but it was really fun for me personally to imagine all this stuff happening, so.

Sasuke had given up on being mad at Naruto, for now. Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but no one was. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but no one’s was. Sasuke couldn’t ask Naruto to do any more than he was. It was so overwhelming, to think that they would really,  _ really  _ have to start planning their future together, and soon. Two months didn’t seem like a very long time, but Sasuke knew better. It would sneak up on them faster than they both expected it, if they let it. 

And that’s just what Naruto thought they should do. 

It was annoying, really, being the only one with sense. “Naruto,” Sasuke said, exhausted from explaining, “we can’t just ‘let it happen.’ There’s a whole lot of stuff that has to be in place.” They were two days away from  moving into the new house, so Naruto had suggested that Sasuke stay with him until then. Sasuke was sitting with Naruto in bed, fresh out of a shower, with his wet head resting on Naruto’s chest. Naruto’s arms were  slung around Sasuke’s middle so that his hands could rest on Sasuke’s belly, his favorite thing to do. It was morning time, the sun was still climbing high into the sky. It was also still very hot. Sasuke almost missed the snow. His eyes followed Biscuit across the floor for a moment.

It all felt very familiar, just like they’d been in the Land of Iron. Sasuke had forgiven Naruto for not trusting him, and Naruto had forgiven Sasuke. What else were either of them supposed to expect? It was a confusing time. Sasuke just wanted to be with Naruto, to be happy with him eternally. But, for now, they could work on trusting one another. Naruto went back to asking Sasuke about his day, and rubbing his feet and drawing him baths, even though Sasuke sort of preferred showers. Biscuit stayed with them, still. He slept between them, by their feet unless otherwise needed or directed. 

Sasuke still had nightmares, bad ones, sometimes about life not being real, and sometimes about what he would have done if Naruto had really never come for him. He would wake up sweaty, with Naruto wrapped all around  him, and Biscuit’s butt in his face. Naruto would whisper in his ear, “I’m here, I came, I got you, I got you,” and it would make Sasuke cry, but only because he was so happy.

Now, Naruto shrugged. “I mean, what else is there? We have the house, and we’ll be in there soon enough. It’s already furnished. Of course, we’ll have to bring your stuff over there, but… I don’t really see what other loose ends we have to tie up.” Sasuke shook his head. “We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl, we just say ‘he’ because that’s what we hope it is. We still have to buy all the baby stuff, clothes and shoes and food and all of that. Plus, Sakura said that I should stay here in the village so that when it’s time I won’t be too far away.”

Naruto made a negating sound in his throat. “No, no, it’s not even that far away! We walked, it’s walking distance.” 

“Don’t be an idiot. I’m not  _ walking  _ to the hospital if I’m in labor.” Sasuke closed his eyes and laid his hands over Naruto’s on his belly. He was trying to make himself relax, because Naruto stressing him out was the last thing he or the baby needed right now. “I guess you’re right. We can stay here, for now. But I’m still going to have someone move all your stuff over there, and when it’s finally finished we’re going to spend the night at least  _ once _ .” Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

“So, um. I have a question for you,” Sasuke said, leaning slightly so that he could see Naruto’s face. “Mm?” Sasuke looked away and played with Naruto’s fingers. “It’s not much of a question, really. I, uh, was encouraged to invite you to the next sonogram. Because, I went to one without you, and Sakura told me that I was being selfish. And she was right. I was just mad, I thought you didn’t care about me enough to want to be with me, I don’t know. Didn’t trust you to care. Very stupid, no excuse.”

Naruto’s fingers twined with Sasuke’s, and Sasuke looked up at Naruto’s face. “Of course I’ll go. I… it kind of hurts that you wouldn’t have been inviting me, anyways. I mean, I know what we were going through, but it’s still my baby, too. But, but it’s ok. That was when we still didn’t trust one another. I trust you now, you trust me. I’ll go with you. So we can see if this bean is actually a boy.”

Sasuke closed his eyes at the feeling of Naruto’s lips pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry,” Sasuke mumbled, but Naruto shook his head. “It’s ok, I told you. I get to go to this one, at least.”

——————————————————————

Three days later, Sasuke and Naruto were in the waiting room of Konoha’s hospital. Sasuke had already gone through filling out the papers, so now they were just waiting to be called back. Beside him, Sasuke could feel Naruto’s foot tapping, and his knee jiggling. 

“Can you calm down? This isn’t even that serious. You’re making me nervous.” 

“I can’t help it.”

Sasuke’s eyebrows came together in slight confusion. “You didn’t act like this when we were in the Land of Iron, and that was a lot more stressful. What’s different about this?” Sasuke reached for Naruto’s hand and squeezed it tight, to try to comfort him. 

“That was a  _ lot  _ different, Sasuke. I knew what was going on, then, it was obvious. I still don’t know how you didn’t know.” Naruto gave a nervous laugh, then shook his head. “This is a lot more intense. You’re pregnant, we know that much, but… what if something is wrong? I know you’ve gone to some before but things can happen. And, and just knowing if it’s a boy or a girl is big enough. Makes it just that much more real. I mean, it’s really real to me, now, after a while. Took me a few months, really, to be able to fathom it. But, anyway, anyway. This is different because I don’t kn ow what’s happening.”

Sasuke felt responsible for this feeling in Naruto. It was Sasuke’s fault that Naruto had never gone to one of these before, because he’d never told him. This was debatably the most important scan of them all, and it was Naruto’s first one. Sasuke bit his lip in thought. He would have to find a way to make it up to Naruto, for making him feel all this stress.

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke said. 

Naruto shook his head again. “Stop apologizing to me, silly. It’s not your fault.”

Sasuke had been about to apologize again, but then his name was called, and that shut him up. Sasuke pulled Naruto along the hall behind the nurse, who told them that the doctor would be with them shortly. It still wouldn’t be Sakura, as she was just too busy, but one of her students sufficed.

“Welcome back, Sasuke.” Anzu greeted Sasuke warmly, as always, and he couldn’t help but smile. Anzu’s grey eyes grew wide when she spotted Naruto. “So, you’ve finally taken Master Sakura’s advice, huh? Welcome, Naruto.”

Naruto looked all embarrassed and red. Sasuke patted his knee. “This is the big one. I felt like I didn’t have a choice.” Anzu laughed lightly as she shuffled Sasuke’s paperwork around. “I see what you mean.” Her face grew serious. “We’re at 30 weeks, yes?” Sasuke nodded. “Something like that.”

Anzu turned to the large machine that was already set up in the room. “Sasuke, I’m sure you know how this works by now.” Sasuke nodded. He lifted himself from his seat and then looked contemplatively at the examination table. “Naruto, can you—”

Naruto’s hands were on Sasuke in an instant, to help him hoist himself up onto the table. Sasuke took the time to dust himself off before lifting his shirt to expose his belly. Naruto’s eyes scanned the expanse of his exposed skin. Sasuke knew it was because despite how much time they spent together, he never really let Naruto see unless he was sleeping, or feeling generous, or they were doing  _ things _ and Sasuke’s shirt was off anyway. 

“Now, if we just get this started…” Anzu pushed the switch to turn the machine on, and she used the time it took to warm up to slather that cold stuff onto the bottom ridge of Sasuke’s belly. “So, has everything been feeling normal?” Sasuke nodded. His eyes were closed, until Anzu said she was starting to see the baby. Naruto was there, at Sasuke’s side, holding his hand so tight. 

“What’re we hoping for?” Naruto finally spoke up then. “We always say ‘he,’ we’re really hoping for a boy.” His voice was shaky, but Sasuke was still so proud of him. Anzu grew silent as she started looking. “Ah, I’ve  found it. Are you ready? Sure you want to know?”

Sasuke looked to Naruto and searched his expression for any doubt. Naruto gave a small nod. “Yes. We’re sure.”

Anzu’s smile was small as she said, “Well, then, it looks like you’re having a girl.”

Sasuke looked to Naruto’s face again, and he thought that he would melt from how warm Naruto’s face was. Sasuke could see that suddenly, it didn’t matter to Naruto about having a boy, an heir or what have you, that didn’t matter in the slightest. Sasuke could see that Naruto was ready, ready to give everything to their baby, their bean, their  _ daughter.  _ A daughter. 

Naruto tore his eyes away from the screen to give Sasuke a sheepish look. “They painted the nursery blue.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Of course they did.”

——————————————————————

Sasuke had conceded that since the house was finally, finally finished, they could spend one night there. “Just one night,” Sasuke insisted.

Naruto, of course, led Sasuke to every room, showed him every piece of furniture, made him appreciate every doorknob, and every color Sakura had decided to incorporate. She had gone for a lot of contrasting colors, blacks and off white, with a little bit of yellow. The yellow reminded Sasuke of Naruto, but he supposed that was the point. 

Naruto made Sasuke climb up the stairs twice, and after the second time Sasuke refused to go back down, it made him too sweaty. “Can’t we just go to bed? I don’t want to walk another step.”

Naruto was standing in the last doorway that they hadn’t gone through yet. “Ok, yes, we can go to bed after you look in here. Just, tell me what you think, ok? I need to know what to tell Sakura to change. And, just remember that we’re gonna change it to pink or something. Since it’s not a boy.”

Sasuke was growing impatient with all of Naruto’s stalling and explaining. “Ok, yeah, yeah. It doesn’t matter if it’s blue, girls can like blue, too,” Sasuke said quickly, and then he shoved Naruto out of the way so that he could take a look for himself.

Sakura had really outdone herself, was Sasuke’s first thought. Then, he couldn’t think anymore. It was just so  _ cute.  _ The walls were the softest blue color, sort of like the outside of the house. In one corner there was a white rocking chair, and next to it was a small shelf with books and frames with pictures of Naruto and Sasuke, and Team 7, and Kakashi and Biscuit and Gai and all of their friends. In another corner was another shelf, with little stuffed animals, and the changing table. There was a round blue carpet underneath it, and pillows. Set against the far wall was the crib, and Sasuke’s eyes were drawn to the little toy Kurama nestled in with the blankets. Above the crib was the paining, Sasuke’s first painting, of the Uchiha and Uzumaki symbols together as one. The curtains were yellow, with black crescent moons that looked almost painted on. Sasuke suspected Sai had been put up to that.

Sasuke felt dangerously weak as he stepped into the room. It was hitting him, hard and in waves. Their  _ baby  _ would live in here, sleep in here, grow in here, exist in here. Sasuke had his nails in his teeth as he walked up to the crib. There were letters laid over the blankets, addressed from Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Sai, Sakura, Kakashi and Gai, Lee, Tenten, Kiba, Hinata, even Shino. Sasuke shook Shino’s to make sure no bugs crawled out of it. There was also a toy Shukaku, with a tag that simply said ‘Gaara.’ A little fan with leaves from Temari, and small puppet versions of Sasuke and Naruto from Kankuro (Sasuke inspected these carefully before replacing them; you could never be too careful). Sasuke ran his fingers over the letters, the blankets, the toys, the pillows. He turned to face the rest of the room again, and Naruto. 

“So? What do you think?”

“What do I… think?” Sasuke’s voice broke. Naruto came to him, holding his belly, and then hugging him tight to his chest. “I have never felt like this, ever, ever. We have— I have friends, Naruto, people that care about me. You’ve always been so good at, you know, at making friends. I’m not. You and Sakura, you were my only friends for my whole life. Look what I did to that. But now, I have friends, real people, people who care about me, us, our family. They are our family, too. It’s just…” Sasuke didn’t know how to explain it. He wasn’t crying, he’d cried enough. It made him happy, to think that people he’d once vowed to hurt would do all of this for him.

“Of course they care. The baby didn’t do anything to them. The baby is innocent. And, they’ve seen your dedication to making things right. You do things your own way. That’s ok. That’s why I love you.” Naruto’s hair was tickling Sasuke’s cheek, and his hands were rubbing over Sasuke’s back slow and soothing.

“Thank you. I love you.” Sasuke fell silent then, and laid his head against Naruto’s shoulder. “I’m sleepy. Where is Biscuit?”

“He’s downstairs. D’you think he knows how to climb stairs?” Naruto grasped Sasuke’s hand as they walked to their room. Sasuke shrugged. “He’s a ninja, I think he can do anything he wants to. Which means that he wants to be down there right now.” Naruto nodded.

“Are you really sleepy?” Sasuke flopped down onto the bed and dug himself under the blankets. “Yes? We’ve been awake for the whole day.” 

“We have to plan the baby shower.” Sasuke groaned loud. “Nooo, not tonight,” he begged. His eyes were already closed. Naruto’s arms were already circling Sasuke’s middle. “Fine. We can do it tomorrow. We need Sakura’s help, anyway.”

——————————————————————

“You don’t even know where you want to have it? You two really are hopeless.”

Sakura came to sit on the sofa opposite the two of them, with Biscuit jumping on her lap as soon as she did. “Here, here is good,” Sakura said. She had a notebook with her, and she’d already gone around the house making notes, probably about how she’d go about decorating and how many people could really fit in the spaces.

“So we’ll do it here, and we’re going to invite all of our friends, right?” Sakura chewed the end of her pen as she looked up at Sasuke expectantly.

“All of them? Everyone, in here? Doing  _ what _ ?” Sasuke was already exhausted at the idea of having to be around people, ogling at him, touching him, fawning over him. The only good part would be the gifts, and the food. 

“Yes, everyone. All of them. Team 8, Team 10, Lee and Tenten, Gaara said he will come, and Temari, but their brother is busy with some Black Sand business. So, that’s ten people, and Kakashi and Gai are coming, so twelve. Yamato, thirteen. And two dogs. Pakkun is coming.” Naruto was listening intently, which Sasuke was pleased to see. 

“That’s a lot of people in here. What’ll we be doing, anyway?” Sasuke ran his fingers over his stretch marks that were poking their way underneath his shirt. Sakura’s eyes grew excited then. “Oh, so many things.”

“We’re going to eat cake, and play games, and everyone is going to say something nice about you two, and give you gifts to help with when the baby first gets here.” Sasuke didn’t want to do any of those things, they all required being looked at and paid attention to. “Can’t we just, like, eat cake? And no one has to say anything.”

Sakura shook her head in exasperation. “No, Sasuke. We’re gonna do the fun stuff. Everyone is really excited, can’t you at least pretend to be excited?” Sasuke shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest so that they rested over his belly. “Fine, fine. Yay,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Come on, Sasuke. Just think about how exciting it’s going to be to tell everyone what we’re having.” Sasuke looked at Naruto with the same annoyed expression he’d been fixing Sakura with. “Yes, incredibly exciting. Can’t wait.” 

“You’re hopeless. Wait, you didn’t know what you’re having?” Sasuke and Naruto both shook their heads. “Well, will you tell me?” Sasuke pursed his lips. “‘Fraid not, Sakura. It’s a secret until next week.”

Sakura slumped back against the sofa. “Fine, ok. Oh!” Sakura interrupted herself as though she’d just remembered something. “Sasuke, how did you like the nursery? I took the most time in there, with all the little details. The toys were hard to find, let me tell you. Ino was the biggest help with all of it.”

“I loved it.” That was all Sasuke could muster, but Sakura understood. “I’m glad you liked it. So, we’ll set the shower up one week from tomorrow, gives everyone a chance to get into town and stuff. And you tell me if anything else happens, or if you want to add something to my plans. I expect you to call me!” Sakura kissed them both on their cheeks, and took her leave.

“Cheer up, Sasuke. You can’t be negative about everything, all the time.” It was Biscuit who spoke. He’d moved to sit between Sasuke and Naruto. “She cares about you, everyone cares about you. They just want to help. Imagine how hard it would be without everyone else. You know what they say,” Biscuit said with a yawn. “It takes a village.”

“Biscuit is right,” Naruto said above Sasuke’s head. He was in his favorite spot, slotted in between Naruto’s legs so that his back was to Naruto’s chest. “It’s going to be fun! I can’t wait, really. And we’re going to get so many things, as if Sakura and Ino didn’t give us a whole lot of stuff, anyway. It’ll be great. Cake, Sasuke. There will be cake.” Sasuke made himself shrug, but he knew they were right. “Whatever,” he said. 

——————————————————————

Sasuke woke up the morning of the shower at Naruto’s house, but all alone. Even Biscuit was gone. “Not this again,” he muttered. Sasuke forced himself into the bathroom, brushed his teeth and put on clean clothes, and then sat on the sofa to recollect himself. He was sure Naruto had gone ahead and went to the house to finish setting everything up, but it was annoying. 

Sasuke slid his shoes on and took his sweet time traveling to the house, since he wasn’t sure exactly how much was finished, or how much he was supposed to see. He had never been to a baby shower, let alone had one thrown for him. It was all pretty new stuff, that Sasuke was forcing himself to try to enjoy, though he couldn’t help but feel the smallest tinge of excitement the closer he got. Or, maybe that was just all the sweat from walking in the heat.

When Sasuke arrived, he could hear music and see people in the yard. Ino and Sakura were outside, probably waiting for him. “Everyone, he’s here!” It was Ino that alerted everyone. Sasuke sighed, but continued along the path until he reached the porch steps. 

“Where’s Naruto?” That was the only thing Sasuke was worried about right now. That, and finding some place cozy to sit. “He’s inside, but don’t worry about him yet. Have something to drink, you look so hot,” Sakura said, ushering Sasuke through the front door. 

There were so many  _ people _ . All his friends, right there in his living room. Sasuke could see Lee, Yamato, Gai and Kakashi in one corner of the room; in another were Shikamaru, Choji, Temari, and Kiba, talking over drinks. Hinata and Tenten were on the sofa, putting the finishing touches on some knitting. Gaara was sitting on the stairs, surveying everyone with the smallest of smiles on his face. Pakkun and Biscuit were on either side of Tenten and Hinata, both fast asleep. There was a big blue banner with the words “Congratulations, Sasuke and Naruto!” painted in white. Sasuke held his belly for emotional support. 

Their kitchen table was littered with gifts and letters, packages and bags of all sizes, with a few things set to the side that were too big to wrap. Sai was there, fixing things up and making sure that the bigger things were hidden from Sasuke’s view. These people had spent money on Sasuke and Naruto, to help them, to help their baby. It was a lot to handle, and still Sasuke couldn’t find Naruto. He couldn’t see Shino, either, but he knew he was around, somewhere. Just waiting to sneak up on someone.

“This is so much,” Sasuke said. Sakura shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’ve decided that I love planning all of your events. It makes my day to see the look on your face, every time. It’s… the least I can do.” Sasuke shook his head this time. “You don’t owe us anything, Sakura,” he said, incredulous that she’d even say it. “Oh, I owe Naruto everything.”

Sasuke bit his lip then, and let her have it. He knew she was right. It wasn’t about him, anyway. Ino shoved a drink into Sasuke’s hand, something pink and bubbly. “What is this?” Ino shrugged. “It’s juice,” she said lightly, “drink it!”

Sasuke obliged her and then made his way over to Kakashi, Gai, Yamato, and Lee. “Sasuke! Let me be the first to say, congratulations! This is a joyous time! Embrace the youth inside you, hold it tight and dear to your heart! He is counting on you!” Sasuke would never get used to the way Lee spoke. “Um, thank you? I will do my best.” It was hard not to just tell people that it was a girl, but Naruto had made Sasuke promise that they’d do it here, today, when they ate the cake. He couldn’t believe Naruto had gone through with it and no one had a clue except Sakura, who had baked the cake to begin with.

Kakashi was leaning against the wall, with one of his hands on the handle of Gai’s wheelchair. “I’m very proud of you two,” he said. It took Sasuke a few seconds to realize Kakashi wasn’t wearing his mask. “You—you’re—” Kakashi laughed,  _ smiled, _ and Sasuke couldn’t help but stare. “Yes, I know. This is a special occasion, so I thought, why not?” Kakashi shrugged. 

Yamato nodded in Sasuke’s direction. “Congratulations. I know it hasn’t been easy.” Sasuke nodded back politely. Gai’s face was so serious that when Sasuke first looked, he was taken aback. “Gai-sensei?”

“I don’t mean to be rude, I’m sure people ask you all the time, but… may I?” Sasuke could see Gai’s hans coming up, just slightly, and his fingers were shaking. “Oh, oh yeah, go ahead.” Sasuke shuffled closer so that Gai wouldn’t have to reach. The truth was, he didn’t get it all the time, because he made his face look so utterly unapproachable that people didn’t even try. The only people who had touched his belly were Naruto, Sakura, Ino, Anzu, and Shikamaru that one time by accident. 

Gai’s fingers were still shaking even as they splayed out across Sasuke’s belly. He felt the baby tap her foot about where Gai’s fingers were, and his face fell into one of pure shock when he felt it. Gai looked at Sasuke’s face, and then at Kakashi’s, where Sasuke could see a faint smile. “Thank you,” Gai said, his old smile back. Sasuke nodded. “Of course.”

“Ok, everyone! We’re going to start the games!” Ino was standing in the middle of the room, with a basket in her arms. “Everyone gets one of these,” she said, and she and Sakura passed out blank wooden blocks to everyone. “Now, these don’t really have  _ winners _ , they’re just meant to be fun. And Sai is in charge, since he does the art stuff.” 

Sai had come to stand near Ino, and he gave that weird smile again. “This one is simple. Everyone pick a letter, and paint it on the block.” Ino was ushering everyone out the back door when Sai finished talking, to the deck where they’d set up all the paints. Sakura stayed behind with Sasuke. “I know you didn’t want too much attention, so we tried to pick things that didn’t focus on you too much.” 

Sasuke nodded. “I like this,” he admitted, “but I’d like it a lot more if I could find Naruto.” Sakura’s eyes cut to the stairs for a second before they returned to Sasuke. She looked as though she wanted to laugh. “He’ll be done any second now, I think. Come on, we have to make sure that everyone’s painting their own letter. I told them to save ‘S’ for you.”

Sasuke felt relaxed as he scrawled an ‘S’ onto the side of the block in black paint. He had been taking painting very seriously lately, as it was the one thing where he felt that there was no way to make a mistake. If he put something somewhere it wasn’t supposed to, he could just cover it up, or work it into something else. There was a light hum of talking, but everyone was doing their own thing. Tenten and Temari both tried to paint a ‘T’, which almost didn’t end well, but Tenten conceded and decided to do ‘N’. 

All of a sudden, the back door was thrown open, and finally, there was Naruto. But, he looked different. Sasuke felt that his eyes were going to fall out of his head.“What the—”

“Took you long enough,” Ino said. She pulled a chair next to Sasuke and placed down the last wood block. “Someone already did ‘N’, sorry. You kinda took too long.” Naruto shrugged. “That’s alright. I was going to do ‘A’, anyway.”

“Why is there a pillow in your shirt?” Sasuke didn’t know if Naruto was making fun of him, or what. Either way, Sasuke didn’t appreciate it. Naruto was laughing, which didn’t help his case. “Oh, it was Sakura’s idea. To see how hard it is to do things, like you have it.” Sasuke turned his eyes back to his block. “Right, yeah.”

Everyone finished their painting, and then Ino tinked a fork against her glass. “Ok, everyone! This next one is going to be pretty funny! I’m going to read out something that one of the two parents-to-be said, and you guys have to tell me who you think said it!” 

Sasuke was surprised at how… upbeat his friends thought that he was. He remembered saying some of the things Sakura had written down, but there were a lot of times when it was clear to Sasuke that only Naruto would say something so obnoxious, and people still thought it was him. 

There was a game where everyone had to write names based on only the letters in Naruto and Sasuke’s, and then it was time for the gifts. “Back inside, everyone, come along!” 

Now, everyone was paying attention to Sasuke and Naruto. They all circled around the kitchen table, where Naruto stood and Sasuke sat. “Ok,” Naruto said, “first is from Temari and Gaara.” He ripped the wrapping unceremoniously. “Oh, they’re so small!” Naruto showed Sasuke the onesies, all tan and with the pattern of the Hidden Sand’s hourglass symbol. Sasuke took one, felt it in his hands. “Thank you.”

There was a stroller from Gai and Kakashi, portraits of Sasuke and Naruto from Sai, two knitted blankets from Tenten and Hinata, a high chair from Shikamaru and Kiba, a whole lot of bibs adorned with swirls from Choji, a green onesie from Lee, tiny shoes from Yamato, and a bunch of hats and hair clips from Ino. Sakura’s gift was last. 

Naruto held the box close to his head and shook it. “Sounds pretty big…” he said quizzically. “Sasuke, do you wanna open it?” Sasuke had been trying not to cry this whole time, but here Naruto went, trying to ruin him. “Ah, yes, ok.” Sasuke undid the tape carefully, slowly, so that he didn’t rip the paper too much. Everyone was watching, but Sakura’s face was the most interested. She had leaned in to watch Sasuke’s reaction. 

Finally, Sasuke got down to the box, and he opened it carefully. Inside was a book, with the Leaf’s insignia on the front. It was a photo album. Sasuke felt almost afraid to open it, because he knew he would cry. But he steeled himself, and cracked the cover open. There were pictures from ten years ago, when everyone was still in the Academy. All of the official team photos from when they were kids, from Team Gai all the way to Team 10. Pictures of Kakashi and Gai, and the dogs, and pictures Sasuke had forgotten even existed from moments he’d let slip from his mind. He was frowning in most of them. He turned the page to see a picture of Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro, Temari and Shikamaru, Sakura and Ino, Kiba and Shino, Hinata and Tenten. Even more pictures than in the nursery, which Sasuke thought not possible. His fingers curled around the spine of the book. On the last page that was full, that’s where Sasuke really started losing it. There was a picture of  _ his  _ family, his mom and dad and Itachi, and next to that was a picture of Minato and Kushina. Underneath those was a scan of their daughter.

Sasuke ran his fingers over the image of his brother’s face. “Where—” Sakura shrugged lightly, all the while still smiling. “You don’t even want to know,” she said, and Sasuke left it at that. “Thank you, so much. Everyone. For everything.” 

Sakura cleared her throat and diverted the attention to herself, so that Sasuke might collect himself in peace. “Now, the moment we have all been waiting for: cake!” A cheer went through the crowd of them. 

“Why’s it pink on the inside?” Kiba asked, holding his fork down so that Akamaru could get some of the cake. “Oh, shoot. We were supposed to say something about that. Uh, it’s a girl?” Naruto scratched the back of his neck. Ino embraced him, but she came at him so fast that the pillow came out of his shirt momentarily. “That’s beautiful!” Everyone else echoed the sentiment. 

It was then that everyone said their nice things, and Sasuke just gave up on trying not to cry. Everyone was saying how proud of him they were, how amazing and beautiful and special it was, and how brave he was. How lucky Naruto was, and how brave he was, too, for putting up with Sasuke for all of this time. How powerful they were, and how inspiring it was to see them trying their hardest to make it work.

The sun was going down when most everyone started to leave, until it was just Sasuke and Naruto again. Sakura promised she would come back in the morning to help them clean up. Sasuke had did his best to put the majority of the gifts away, until Naruto had made him come to bed because he was going to exhaust himself. 

Sasuke couldn’t stop looking at the photo album. “Where did she get this? I can’t believe it.” Naruto had already shoved his head underneath the pillow. “She said we don’t want to know. It is pretty cool. My mom and dad look happy,” he said, his voice muffled. Sasuke sighed, closed the book and held it to his chest. “I’m so glad you made me do that,” he said. Naruto lifted his head, then. “What kind of a friend would I be if I didn’t?”

Sasuke laid down then, held Biscuit close to him. When he woke up, he realized that it was the first night in a month that he hadn’t had a nightmare. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii guys sorry about the delay. i had a hard time with like finishing this up, but i hope you guys like how it ended. naruto is a very poetic man. 
> 
> that is all.

No more nightmares. No more waking up in a cold sweat. Naruto stayed with Sasuke every night, every day, did everything with him, tried his best to do everything  _ for  _ him, though Sasuke protested this. Not as much as he usually would have, because he was huge now, there was no denying it. They still stayed at Naruto’s house, because it was closer to the hospital, but sometimes Naruto went into the woods to do things at their house. Sasuke didn’t bother asking what Naruto was up to, because as soon as he got back in he’d be talking about it. Sasuke would sit, and listen patiently, and then call Naruto back to him, to bed.

Sasuke wasn’t allowed to do much of anything else. Anzu had suggested, and Sakura had agreed, that Sasuke needed to stay in bed as much as possible. His body surely wasn’t used to this sort of stress, strain, and tension, so he just needed to take it easy. He hadn’t really liked to hear that he couldn’t walk around, even in the house, but his feet  _ did  _ hurt, and if he stayed in bed he wouldn’t have to wear any pants. So, he let Naruto wait on him as much as he wanted. 

That was for a month. Then, all of a sudden one night, when Sasuke was peacefully in bed as he had been all day, Naruto busted in the door in fancy clothes and started shaking Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“C’mon, c’mon, you have to take a shower, we have to go somewhere!”

“Go away.” Sasuke rolled over so that he couldn’t see Naruto’s face. Naruto just shook him harder. 

“This is  _ important,  _ Sasuke. You’ve been in bed all day. You don’t want to just, you know, walk? Be outside?” Sasuke shook his head. “Outside isn’t the bed. Anzu said I can’t get up for more than 30 minutes.” Naruto sighed and said through what sounded like gritted teeth, “ I asked her, she said this is ok.”

Sasuke turned back over them. “You asked her? What’s happening?” Naruto had a gleam in his eye, and Sasuke didn’t like it. He sat up and let the covers pool in his lap.

“I can’t tell you yet. You have to trust me.” Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Naruto, dressed all nice, wearing that stupid smile, fidgeting slightly from left to right? Sasuke didn’t trust this at all; he the opposite of trusted it. But, he was also interested, so he dragged himself out of the bed and made Naruto wait on him while he took a shower. He had gotten used to the baths Naruto made for him, so the sting of the shower water felt strange against his skin.

“And how am I supposed to dress? You’re wearing a fucking  _ tie. _ ” Sasuke was standing before the closet, just as he had all those months ago. His clothes were still all black and billowy, but he was lucky that he already wore clothes that were big, because now they were handy. He hadn’t had to buy very many new clothes due to this and the fact that Naruto had been shopping for him. 

“Dress nice. I know you only wear black but… maybe put on some boots, or something?” Naruto shrugged. “Agh, fine.” Sasuke hated wearing anything except pajamas and Naruto’s clothes. But, he obliged Naruto and dressed as nice as eight months pregnant would let him. 

“Where are we even going? It’s still so  _ hot,”  _ Sasuke complained as Naruto dragged him along.

“Will you quiet, for two seconds!”

“Fine.”

Sasuke could smell the ramen before he even saw the banner. “Why didn’t you just say we were coming here? I wouldn’t have complained!” That was a lie, he would have for sure, but less. “I said quiet,” Naruto said, holding his finger to his lips. He let Sasuke enter first. The smell was overwhelming, making him emotional. He thought back to the last time he’d been in here, all those months ago, feeling like loving Naruto was hopeless, and that no matter what they were it would never be enough. Now, Sasuke smiled to think how far they’d come. He pressed a hand to his belly underneath all the folds of his clothes. 

“Why’d we have to get all dressed up to come here?” Sasuke asked. Naruto ignored it, and ordered for the both of them. “Naruto—” 

“Be patient, ok? You’ll see why in a few minutes.” Sasuke sulkily ate, only talking to Naruto when he was spoken to. He didn’t care for being patient right now. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw people starting to come in, but he didn’t look up because it probably wasn’t his business.

Then Naruto tapped him on his shoulder, and when Sasuke looked up, he audibly gasped. His friends, all dressed sparkly and nice, with makeup and dresses and  _ ties _ and nice shoes. Sasuke was very confused, but also a little shook that he hadn’t noticed these people coming in. “What’s everyone doing here?” Sasuke turned his confusion to Naruto. Except, Naruto wasn’t next to Sasuke anymore. At least, not at eye level. Sasuke stood abruptly from his seat, a little too fast, but his dizziness was the least important thing right now. He looked from Naruto to the gathering of people and back again several times.

“Naruto, don’t—” 

Naruto shushed Sasuke. He was on his knee, his one bended knee, and Sasuke could hear Ino dramatically crying into Sakura’s chest already. Sasuke ran an anxious hand through his hair. He was growing self conscious, already so hot and now everyone was looking at him, gawking at him, waiting for him to react. Sasuke’s face and ears were getting hot from embarrassment, anxiety, the need to run away, because this couldn’t be happening.

But it was.

“Sasuke… Sasuke.” Naruto spoke his name shakily at first, and then repeated himself, stronger the second time, to steady himself. He reached for one of Sasuke’s hands, and Sasuke gave it to him, while his other came to his belly by impulse. The baby was turning over, or something. She was incredibly active. Sasuke tried his best to ignore her moving inside him and pay attention to Naruto’s speech. 

“For as long as I can remember, I remember you. I remember thinking about you. I remember wanting to know more about you. I remember being jealous of you. Then, I remember being your friend. I cared about you, wanted to see you succeed, no matter what you were doing. I was deep, so deep in it that I didn’t see it right in front of my face. We got older. Things got a lot different. I was so into you that when you left, I— I didn’t know how I was going to do anything else. I was your friend, that was enough for me. Then, I realized that if I couldn’t be your friend, there was nothing else I wanted to do. I went so far, the ends of this green Earth, to bring you back to me. No matter what you did, what you said, what you stood for… I was still your friend. I wanted you with me, like it had been before. You know all that.” Naruto paused, took a deep breath. He looked to Kakashi, who gave him a small nod. Naruto took another shaky breath and continued. 

“Then, life got a little better. We were friends again, despite all the bad. You could never do any wrong to me. Everything was good, getting better, and then… I messed up. I know it hurt you that I was going on missions again.” Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. He would not be the first one to cry, he would  _ not _ . “I was selfish, so selfish. I knew you loved me and I just… I’m sorry about that. But, it wasn’t all bad! You came with me, and then we found out about her.” Naruto leaned forward to press a hand to Sasuke’s abdomen for a moment. “I almost lost you, then. I learned a lot about me, you, about us. I learned that it would be hard to trust you, just as I learned that you would have a hard time trusting me. But we worked on it, worked at it every single day. I trust you. I think you trust me. And I realized, again, a lot of realization going on here, that we would finally be together forever, in at least one sense. I tried to make it up to you, all the gestures, and the house. Things I knew would make you smile, things I knew you needed even when you didn’t want to accept my help. I can’t be perfect, I can only hope to be enough for you, like you are enough for me.  _ Perfect  _ for me. Everything to me. And so, this is the last thing. I want to be with you forever. In  _ every  _ sense. So, um…” 

Naruto dug around in his pocket vigorously, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth for a moment in concentration. Finally, Sasuke saw Naruto close his fingers around it, the little black box, and bring it out of his pocket. Sasuke’s eyes were soft, and wet, and almost closed because he couldn’t watch Naruto open the box, present him the band, couldn’t watch Naruto’s mouth curve over the words, “Stay with me forever?” 

Ino sobbed loudly, breaking the moment. Sasuke could have laughed. He might have, if it wasn’t for the fact that if he opened his mouth he would have sobbed, too. He just nodded, over and over, and gave Naruto his hand again. The cool of the metal on his finger grounded him to the moment. Naruto stood then, didn’t bother dusting himself off, and enveloped Sasuke in an embrace so soft that Sasuke felt he was going to melt. Everyone around them was cheering, wooping and all of that, but they weren’t even there. It was just Sasuke and Naruto, together, forever. 

“You—you want to marry me? You’re such a loser.” Sasuke was crying ugly tears as he said it, so he choked on the words. Naruto was crying too, albeit a lot lighter. He nodded, crazy, frenzied. “Yes, yes, Sasuke, yes.” He just kept saying ‘yes’ until Sasuke couldn’t hear anything but the screaming of his own heart in his ears. Sasuke felt so faint, and he chalked it up to the moment.

But even after they got back to Naruto’s house, Sasuke felt like he as teetering between awake and unconscious, like he was going to fall out. He didn’t want to ruin the night, the wonderful night, so he just turned the ring over on his finger over and over, and forced himself to sleep. 

——————————————————————

When Sasuke woke up in the middle of the night, there was only pain. He was sweating, but he hadn’t had a nightmare. Naruto’s arms were around him, and Biscuit was at his feet. Maybe he was just hot? Yes. Hot and dizzy because of the weather. But, but the pain, there was no way to write it off. Sasuke’s eye caught the glint of his engagement ring on his finger again, and he felt a wave of calm wash over him for just a moment. 

That wave was replaced with pain. So sharp, so hot and piercing, that Sasuke started to get scared. He didn’t want to wake Naruto up at this hour. Yeah, yeah, he told himself, giving himself a small nod. Sasuke told himself to drink some water, take his socks off, maybe take off his shirt, and go back to sleep. He was in the middle of pulling his shirt over his head when he felt another wave of pain. It was getting worse every time. He had a few minutes in between them to do all the things on his self care list, but none of it helped. Sasuke’s fingers curled into a fist, and then unfurled over his bare belly. “I can sleep through this,” he mumbled under his breath. He’d felt worse pain just from fighting Naruto. This was nothing. Sure, Sasuke’s hand was shaking violently as he drank his water. He’d be fine when he woke up.

Oh, so much worse when he woke up. Sasuke was  _ woken up  _ by it. He sat up fast, so fast that he roused Biscuit. Biscuit sniffed the air, walked in a slow circle around Sasuke, and then sat in front of him with a matter-of-fact expression on his face. “You know what this is. I thought I felt it earlier, when you were mucking about in the kitchen with the water. You barely made it back over here, I saw that.” Sasuke shrugged stubbornly. “I’m fine. It’s not my time right now, I have two more weeks.” Biscuit shook his little furry head. “You probably have…” he pressed his nose to the taut skin of Sasuke’s stomach, “until the end of today.”

“Tch. You’re not a doctor.” Biscuit gave a small shrug. “Fine, have it your way. Try telling him that.” Biscuit gestured to Naruto with his head. “I’m not telling him anything,” Sasuke said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

Naruto was slowly blinking himself awake as they spoke. “Babe? Your skin, you’re so hot,” he mumbled, pulling Sasuke back to him weakly. Moving was excruciating, but Sasuke still laid himself back down next to Naruto. “Hi,” Naruto said quietly, pushing Sasuke’s hair off of his sweaty forehead. “H-hi,” Sasuke replied. One of his hands was on Naruto’s shoulder, and the other was clutching his stomach. 

“Are you okay?” Sasuke nodded. “I’m fine, it’s fine.” His voice broke as he said it. Naruto narrowed his eyes. “You’re not. What’s wrong, tell me.” Sasuke shook his head, then drew in a sharp breath as the pain hit him again. “Nothing is wrong,” he said weakly. Sasuke forced himself to sit up again. He didn’t even know if he’d be able to get to the hospital, if this was really happening. There was no way he’d be able to take the five steps it would take to get to the front door from here, let alone walk all the way to the hospital. That wasn’t a possibility.

“Sasuke, Sasuke, don’t tell me…”

Naruto sat up and his hands were on Sasuke in an instant. “We have to go, we have to go, we have to get to Sakura, or someone—” Sasuke shook his head. “No, no, can’t. I can't go anywhere.”

Naruto looked so confused, and then nodded. “Ok, I’m going to get her, ok? I’m going to get her. She’s going to come, help us, she’s going to bring the stuff, ok? Just, we have to be calm, calm down.” Sasuke’s eyes were screwed shut at that point. “Naruto, go get her!”

“Oh, oh yeah.” 

By the time Naruto came back, Sasuke had flopped himself into the middle of the bed with the covers underneath his body, with Biscuit walking careful circles around him. Sasuke opened his eyes to see Sakura, Anzu and two other women, with a whole lot of equipment between them. “Naruto, you’re going to have to give up your towels. Like, all of them. Go get them, bring them to Anzu. Biscuit, will you tell Kakashi? Hanako, get up close to his head. Misaki, you help me down here.”

A blur of pain; elation; annoyance (because Naruto kept saying “dattebayo” and being the opposite of helpful); apprehension; fear. Sasuke wasn’t sure how he hadn’t just passed out completely, or fucking died, how do people not just die? 

But then, he  _ heard  _ her. He  _ felt  _ her separate from him, become her own being once and for all. Sasuke cracked his eyes open so that he may see her, if only for a fleeting moment. She was filthy, and wiggly, and  _ wet _ , but she was his. Sasuke’s head fell back against the pillows Hanako had placed underneath his neck, exhausted, spent, sweaty beyond belief, but happy. Pure joy filled him as he watched Naruto hold their daughter for the first time. Their daughter. Their  _ baby.  _ Born and alive and screaming, shrieking, until she got one of Naruto’s fingers in her hand. She was quiet, then, looking up at Naruto’s beaming face with her own little eyes.

She was so small, so red. Her hair was fine, and all black. When Sakura finally got Naruto to give her up, and placed her in Sasuke’s hold for the first time, he knew exactly what he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Sakura had instructed Sasuke to let her touch his skin bare to hers, so he did. He ran his fingers ever so gently over the curve of her tiny head, over her sparse  hair. Naruto’s eyes watched as she waved her little fist at them. All the women in the room fawned over her, and Sasuke felt proud. Proud that he worked, had labored to create a being so insanely perfect. Naruto had sure helped, but come on. His contribution was nothing compared to Sasuke’s. And Sasuke would tell him as much, when he woke up.

——————————————————————

Sasuke had to stay a week in the hospital. In that time, more people passed through his room than he was sure he knew. Of course, all of his friends, and Gaara came back to visit. The look on his face as he laid his eyes upon the baby for the first time was one that Sasuke didn’t have a word to describe. Intense, was the only thing that came to mind. Sasuke knew that Gaara loved Naruto, too, but in a much different way than himself. Still, it must have all been overwhelming to see, and not just for him. Everyone had some degree of the same expression, though some people seemed more affected than others.

Their daughter still didn’t have a name, after a week. Everyone that came through offered their opinions, but Sasuke… hated them, all of them. Every time someone spoke a name, he hated it, even the ones Naruto said he sort of liked. Sasuke shook his head every time, held the baby closer to him, and scowled. There was no  _ way  _ they’d give their baby any of the terrible names. 

“Sasuke, you’re being very dramatic. If you don’t like a name, it’s perfectly ok to just say you don’t like it. You made Tenten feel really bad.” Naruto had stayed at Sasuke’s side, only leaving to shower. It was hard to give the baby to Naruto, because Sasuke felt like she completed him, but he knew that Naruto felt that way too, so sometimes he gave her up. 

“I can’t help it. It’s insulting. Why would we call our baby any of those things? And why would they  _ suggest  _ them, unless they take us as a joke?” Sasuke crossed his arms. He watched Naruto, and just like it did every time, his heart did a flip. “I thought of one last night on the walk back home. I’m not sure how much you’d like it.” Sasuke sat up. “Tell me.”

“I don’t know, she’s just so beautiful, and—and you’re a genius, you always have been, so she’s got to be just as smart. I don’t count for much but, anyway. I thought of calling her Satomi.” Naruto’s eyes were so hopeful. Sasuke had it on the tip of his tongue to say he hated this one too, and that she’d never have a name. But he looked at her, and then Naruto, and back to her again. His heart burst a little bit.

“I like that one.”

Naruto let Sasuke hold her then,  _ Satomi,  _ and as Sasuke pressed his hand to hers, he felt content. He hoped that somewhere, wherever he was, his brother could see this. He hoped Itachi was proud of him. He knew Naruto felt the same way. One night, probably when he thought Sasuke was asleep, Naruto was sitting at his side. At first, Sasuke thought that Naruto was talking to the baby, but then he listened a little closer and had to squeeze his eyes shut so he didn’t cry.

“Okāsan, Otōsan, do you see her? She’s… the greatest thing I’ve ever done. I have always wanted to make you proud of me, ever since I learned about your sacrifices—” Satomi had hiccuped then, and Naruto shushed her before continuing. “Everything you did for me, I wanted to make it up to you. I hope, I pray, I wish with everything I have, that you can see her. That you love her a fraction as much as I do. She’s the most important thing to me.” Sasuke heard Naruto kiss Satomi’s head then, and that was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep. 

“Sasuke?”

Sasuke blinked and managed to tear his gaze from Satomi and his thoughts from the other night. “Yes?” 

“The doctors said we can go home today.  _ Home _ .” Sasuke could see it in Naruto’s eyes; this was everything that either of them had ever wanted. “Seriously?”

Naruto nodded. “All of the stuff is done, the papers, the birth certificate, everything is official. We are parents now. And homeowners. And engaged.” Sasuke lifted his hand then, looked at the ring around his finger. He’d almost forgotten. “You’re an idiot,” he said quietly. It was his only defense against his feelings.

“Your idiot. Forever.”


	12. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what a wild ride ahaha. i’ve been so excited to see the reception of this little story; i love each and every person who took the time to comment, give kudos, or just read my dumb writing lol. thank you! i have plenty of other ideas, but i’d also love to hear what you guys want to see me write.
> 
> this was really just my way of expounding upon the universe and fleshing it out some more so that when i come back to it, it’ll be a real place in my head, if that makes sense. 
> 
> thank you all again!! pls enjoy and message me!

Being a family was nothing easy. Neither Sasuke nor Naruto had seen it really work out. But, they were determined to be the change they wanted to see in the world. Satomi was their reason. She was the most important thing to them. It made Sasuke feel a myriad of emotions.

She was so smart. Sasuke had cried when she told them she wanted to be in the Academy, that she wanted to be a ninja. “It’s so dangerous,” he had sobbed, but she and Naruto had held him close to them, and Satomi had promised Sasuke that if she felt like she couldn’t do it, she… still wouldn’t quit. Naruto had beamed at her, pinched her cheek, ruffled her dark hair. Sasuke cried harder.

She was so polite, but she was loud, and very opinionated. She was always yelling out in class, which got her notes sent home from Iruka. “She tried to tell me it’s pronounced… catra.” Sasuke could hardly sound it out. Naruto snatched the paper. “I used to say that!” He was laughing; Sasuke was going to cry again.

She brought home other notes, too. When Satomi was a genin, Sasuke first discovered the notes that she and Inoko were writing back and forth. He didn’t know how to feel. Sasuke had watched as Naruto sat Satomi down, looking very stern and fatherly ever since he’d taken to cutting his hair down short. “What’s this about?” 

Satomi had shrugged and clutched onto Naruto’s collar. “She’s my best friend! We just like to tell each other sometimes, that’s all.” Naruto had hummed in deep thought. Sasuke had read the letters, though. It seemed a lot different than friendship, a lot deeper. Satomi had turned her blue eyes into Sasuke, who could only offer her a weak smile. Every time she looked at him, he was rendered an emotional wreck. It was exhausting sometimes, loving someone with every atom of your body.

It had been so much worse when they had been wed. Satomi was three years old, at that point. Planning a wedding was hard when Naruto still insisted upon taking mission requests, and they had a baby to take care of. Satomi was not an agreeable baby, in any sense of the word. Sakura and Ino helped, of course, even though Ino went on to have a baby herself in the second year of Satomi’s life. Sasuke would never be able to thank Sakura for everything she’d done. “Oh,” she said with a dismissive hand, “planning your wedding is all I’ve wanted to do for a while now. And to get Ino to stop eating food at 4am. Little wins.”

Sasuke and Naruto got married in the fall time of Satomi’s third year of life, with her standing there among Naruto’s special party. Sasuke was already shedding tears when he’d watched her sprinkling flowers carefully in a straight line. While they were exchanging vows, Satomi was making faces at Sasuke that made him break his focus until he couldn’t take it anymore, and had lifted her up and given her to Gaara to hold.

Everyone had come to see them be wed. Their senseis, their friends from close and far away. Even Sasuke’s team from his rogue days, Taka, had come to see them. Suigetsu and Karin had to be sat at opposite ends of the rows, but they still came. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Karin had said, adjusting her glasses.

Sasuke had watched as he took Naruto’s breath away with his vows. “Ahem,” he’d cleared his throat, already bawling from Naruto’s vows. “I wrote this a while ago. There wasn’t much to do in the Land of Iron when I had been captured. So I wrote. I hope this is… enough. I changed it a little bit, but um—yeah.” Sasuke had cut his eyes to Gaara, who was holding Satomi’s hand in his, and then began.

“I’ve never felt this way before, I know it now. I sit here, waiting, growing, wondering. I have this baby in me, and she is you. She wakes me up, just like you. She reminds me to eat well, just like you. She is surrounding me with your chakra. She reminds me to go to bed on time. She reminds me to be careful. She is you. I hope that she is just like you. I can’t think of anything better. 

“I want to tell you something, something that I have been thinking about for years. In school, we learned about the planets, and the solar system; and the sun. Iruka told us something, something I will never forget. The sun, the sun is a star. It makes its own light, it doesn’t need anyone else’s help. You’re a star, you’re the light of my life. I feel it when you look at me. I don’t know what I’d be doing without you. We are a family, now, and you are the reason why I know what I’m doing from a day-to-day basis. 

“But the moon, the moon doesn’t make its own light. It  may be the light of the night, but it needs the sun to do that. I need you. I was so lost, so lost in the dark for a long, long time. Felt like an eternity. And it was because, I realized, I was away from my sun. Without the light of the sun, I was nothing, empty, purposeless. You give me a reason to shine, because you shine on me, when no one else will. I’ve… never been sure of how to tell you that, so I wrote it down. You’ve always supported me, always, even when I was dead wrong. It didn’t matter to you. You’ve given me life, literally The purpose that I needed. To be her dad, and to be with you forever. I love you, I love you, now and forever.”

Sasuke had never seen Naruto reduced to such a mess. Satomi started whining, because she saw Naruto crying. Naruto had taken a step down from the altar to shush her, kiss her forehead, and whisper something to her. When he came back, he was no less of a mess, but at least he had stopped sobbing. 

And at the reception, after they’d sent the sleeping Satomi home with Sakura and Ino, Sasuke finally felt it. He was a whole person; a father, a husband, a shinobi, a brother, a son, someone who mattered on Earth. It was Naruto that made him realize that. Kakashi told embarrassing stories about the time they’d done the bell test, but Naruto was too drunk to be mad at him. It was funny, to watch Naruto dissolve before his eyes from the alcohol.

They’d had sex that night, hot sex, great sex, but Sasuke had been worried that he was pregnant again in the next month. He wasn’t, and they decided that Satomi would have to be a lot older before they went through all of  _ that  _ again.

13 was a lot older, Sasuke thought, as he stood in the kitchen with the test in his hand. He had already told her, and had made her promise on her will as a shinobi not to tell Naruto until Sasuke was ready. By the time Sasuke had decided to take the test, he was already showing. He was ever one for disbelief. It had felt different, because he wasn’t traveling like he had been with Satomi. And she still told Naruto. He had busted in the door, yelling about Sasuke and to show him, show him please. 

Sasuke was pregnant when Ino and Sakura got married. Inoko had sat between him and Satomi. They had coordinated dresses. It was a different feeling, watching people get married that he cared about so deeply. And, ok. He had gone into labor at their wedding, but he’d made it until the next day before he had said anything. Naruto said he’d never forgive him, but then he’d held their  _ son _ for the first time.

Life was what it was supposed to be. Sasuke was sure of that. There was nothing else they were meant for. And, looking down at Kaito, he hoped that life would stay this way forever.


End file.
